We have no bedroom and it's stressful

[Fishandchipsareyum]

Hello

We have a small 2 bedroom house and the girls each need a bedroom as they are both autistic and eldest is a pda and 7 years older than the youngest. The girls don't get on my eldest needs a lock on her door inside so her sister isn't allowed in. We are going to put a little latch on it for her.

We initially thought it was going to be ok, we bought an expensive sofa bed from ikea. It was hideous to sleep on so had to replace with a day bed that pulls out to a double but the sofa is in the way so it can't be moved to pull day bed out ( it's a tiny livingroom also) we have so much stress and we have no adult space and all my clothes are mostly in box's under the day bed. Husband sleeps on a mattress.

Guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has no adult bedroom because the children need a room each.

We can't afford to buy a bigger place. So we are stuck.

All that fits In the living room is the seating and the day bed ( single size pushed in) and a small unit for my things. Tv is on the inbuilt fireplace.

Youngest room is large but awkward so I'm not sure it could be split into 2. There is her bed and toys and books and I need to store towels and husbands clothes in her room.

I just can't help dread getting older in this place. I try and be positive but I feel quite down. I work 24/7 ( minus the sleeping tike lol) and I would have enjoyed a place to call my own bedroom for rest.

Completely agree with this.

Came here after reading the benefits thread and I feel for you OP! We also have 2 girls in a 2 bed but fortunately they do share ok and we are fortunate enough to be able to upsize soon.
You have had some good ideas posted to try anyway, I hope something helps. Please ignore the few negative comments.

Also... Despite most posters bashing this poster for this. I can't see anything wrong with what she has said.

I haven’t read the full thread but there are design accounts on Instagram with clever ideas on how to utilise awkward and small spaces. One is @tiffanydesignstudio. There’s a better one as well but I can’t find it at the minute. If it pops up again I’ll put the link.

Exact same boat here so am making the lounge the 3rd bedroom/my bedroom. No sofa. Just a bed and clothes rail.
I saw a fab set up on Pinterest but cannot afford it. Will see if I can post it though, hang on.

Which child do you think the OP should get rid of? Are we talking murder or leave her at the fire station type thing?

The OP has two kids, any why did she have them contemplations this point aren’t helpful.

And you must feel very smug....

https://de.pinterest.com/pin/400609329374213366/?e_t=359e236eae614eef90d7a989acc13194&utm_campaign=hfdigestpins&utm_content=400609329374213366&utm_medium=2004&utm_source=31&utm_term=16

I thought she had 3.

In my dreams that's what I'd do - a snug, where one of my ND kiddies can hug me in the once in a blue moon times they do, then a bed on the top.
Sadly I have a low-ceilinged end terrace which I can't do much with. I am going to just make a cosy bed downstairs and divide and conquer!
Much love to you x

It's 2

Eldest being pda means no hugs too. Totally understand.

Thanks everyone who made helpful suggestions and understanding comments. I like the idea of splitting biggest room.

The room has a large window that takes up most of the wall, is there a way to partition the room like that against a window? Otherwise it would be 2 narrow rooms with one having no window option as no outside wall. Hope that makes sense lol.

It's really hard, isn't it? Especially PDA. I get it and you are right btw - both with the room arrangement and the lock needed.
I have two ND kiddies and play referee all the bloody time and it's like disarming a bomb sometimes.
The hell that is secondary school and trying to get them both in and keep my job. Most have no clue until they're in the situation and no, it's not like bloody Holland.
You will find a way lovely. You just need to declutter/go minimalist for everything you can. Your kiddies keep their things in their room. And stay strong as a team.
I'd sell the sofa bed back to IKEA.

I had a quick google and it tells me it’s best go replace the one window with two and brick up the middle. Depends how much that woule
cost.

you got a house, make it work; some people live in families of 4 in 50 sq m flats in London , 1 bedroom , the parents take the living room

To add to the already helpful suggestions...

Wherever the largest room is, use clever bed designs to create two smaller rooms for the girls. You get the other room as your bedroom, then the third smallest room is the communal space with whatever seating it can accommodate/ tv unit etc.

In the loft, board out and at least get plastic storage boxes to shift your clothes up when not in use (summer/winter) and you could even put a rug and comfy chair up there to have a space to sit to escape quietly...but maximise your living space/ the bedrooms

The garden space can also be utilised into a relaxing space for you to sit- a tiny shed with a chair or bench or patio with cover.

You need your home to work for you as much as the children. Can't pour from an empty cup and all of that...

I would get a Murphy bed and get rid of excess furniture in the living room.
If your sofa has feet change them to wheel castors type feet so it's easy to move.
I won't know how big your living room is but if you have the space I would look at some wardrobes like ikea pax and do the built in hack so it looks nicer.
Then save up if that's possible to do the loft conversion. Your children may be living at home for many years so even if it's done in a long time it will still be worth it.
We finally got our extension when dds were 16 and 17 (3 bed house, 3 dcs the girls shared), people said why would you bother as they'll be gone soon - well no they won't walk out the door never to return the minute they turn 18, and they're all still at home 8 years later.

Sometimes the plan is to move before you need to have an extra bedroom. This isn't possible when you have disabled kids due to caring for them. Sometimes things happen like a redundancy, illness, bereavement, divorce, financial crash, pandemic...

No-one can predict the future. Life happens and things don't work out as planned. You might be able to afford them to start and then suddenly not.

Op the people in the flat opposite had their bedroom in the living room. Autistic kid. Two opposites sex teens. We are repeating this here. .

Oh interesting, I hadn't thought of that. Yes sounds pricey I guess.

That's what I was going to ask. Swap the larger bedroom and living room. Two adults then have a larger space to fit daybed/sofa and cupboard and a single child can fit in the smaller space that is currently the living room.

Could a loft conversion be possible?

Is there a way to replan upstairs to have 3 bedrooms instead of 2? (for example, if there are 2 good sized double bedrooms, you could create 2 small single bedrooms and small-ish double)?

Alternatively, maybe you could extend and build another single bedroom round back?

Your children need to share.

Hi OP, I'd definitely look at splitting the room. There's some interesting ways you can do this on YouTube using a bunk bed as a divider.

Also I have an older child with PDA and allowing them to have a lock on the door would have backfired massively...