We have no bedroom and it's stressful

[Fishandchipsareyum]

Hello

We have a small 2 bedroom house and the girls each need a bedroom as they are both autistic and eldest is a pda and 7 years older than the youngest. The girls don't get on my eldest needs a lock on her door inside so her sister isn't allowed in. We are going to put a little latch on it for her.

We initially thought it was going to be ok, we bought an expensive sofa bed from ikea. It was hideous to sleep on so had to replace with a day bed that pulls out to a double but the sofa is in the way so it can't be moved to pull day bed out ( it's a tiny livingroom also) we have so much stress and we have no adult space and all my clothes are mostly in box's under the day bed. Husband sleeps on a mattress.

Guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has no adult bedroom because the children need a room each.

We can't afford to buy a bigger place. So we are stuck.

All that fits In the living room is the seating and the day bed ( single size pushed in) and a small unit for my things. Tv is on the inbuilt fireplace.

Youngest room is large but awkward so I'm not sure it could be split into 2. There is her bed and toys and books and I need to store towels and husbands clothes in her room.

I just can't help dread getting older in this place. I try and be positive but I feel quite down. I work 24/7 ( minus the sleeping tike lol) and I would have enjoyed a place to call my own bedroom for rest.

I think you have to do away with the idea of a 'standard' living room set up with tv, sofa, chairs etc. Prioritise your and your DH's comfort. Have a comfy bed with lots of storage underneath (though if you don't mind hard surfaces a Japanese futon can be rolled up during the day...). Then have a stack of beanbags that can be used as seating during the day, along with the bed. Give up on armchairs, sofas etc. Also, try to make your kitchen a comfy hangout area if possible and ideally put the TV in there.

I think some Murphy beds have a built in sofa that the bed fold down onto.

I'd look at splitting the big bedroom in half and making two tiny spaces for the girls and moving into the other bedroom. If this isn't possible then I like the loft bed idea best assuming you're able to get up and down okay. My friend had a double loft bed in her lounge for guests and it was surprisingly comfortable.

I wouldn't sleep in an illegal loft for all the reasons listed but I'd floor it myself and put absolutely everything you can there - all your out of season clothes, etc etc so it's out of the lounge. Pare back to essential capsule clothes for everyone and be really ruthless in getting rid of stuff. The less stuff you have the less overwhelming it will be for all of you.

No judgement from me - life happens in all sorts of ways and you'd never know this is how it would end up today. It's totally normal to assume your children could share a room, generations of families have raised their children in small spaces and many families continue doing this all over the world. My kids have plenty of friends who share bedrooms - some of them by choice. So this is an unexpected situation in lots of ways.

Or get one of those bunk beds that has a double mattress up at the top and open space underneath.

I am in the same situation-2 kids (a boy and a girl) and 2 bedrooms in a little terraced house.I don't want to move as I live in a gorgeous conservation area even though my tiny home is worth 300k and I could buy a much bigger house in a not so nice area. What I did is turn one of my 2 rooms downstairs into a bedroom for my daughter as she can go all night without using the upstairs loo and my son always goes during the night. I am single so have the tiny bedroom. My daughter has exactly the same room as my son as she is underneath his room so at least they can't say one has the bigger room! The only negative is that the front door opens into her bedroom but this has not been an issue. You can get some very comfortable sofa beds by the way or some incredible toppers for existing uncomfortable sofa beds which really save money and transform the mattress. GOOD LUCK! (By the way my tiny house consists of walking straight into the lounge,(now daughter's bedroom),a middle sitting room (now the lounge) and a kitchen extension-hope that helps).

Regarding the suggestions to "get rid" of the sofa, and use the bed as sofa, I wouldn't discard it, but if you do reduce the parents' room to the bed only, the sofa can be used by one of the children, or at least placed in their room until further use. I wouldn't be so quick to discard everything as stuff is getting pricier all the time.

The idea to use the biggest room for the adults is also good because in this situation - not moving and not having saved up yet for alterations - it's important to do away with expectations of how a house should be structured (e.g. having a dining room and a living room) and just use what you have in a creative and optimal way.

Think of your timetables, too, how many hours you spend where, within the house, and allocate accordingly.
If you need space for many people, like a celebration, just check if you can hold that elsewhere - coffee shop, restaurant, village hall, park ... instead of reserving room for few occasions.

Okay, splitting one room into 2 is complicated. What about posting a floor plan and seeing if there is a way to take the two rooms and split into 3?

Also there's a great picture online of a way to split one room using beds. We can't share pictures just now so look up something like "student room split by bunk beds"

Split the large bedroom OP, really easy to do and fairly inexpensive, You could put their own doors on too, that’s what we’ve done and we had an awkward room, yes they’ll have small rooms butttt at least everyone will have their own space - what’s the layout like? 😊

Could you have a living area in the kitchen and make the living room into a proper bedroom?

Is it possible to hang a curtain track from the ceiling and section off a bit of what is now your current front room that way with a curtain, make that a cosy area for your daughter? Then you and dh move into the bigger bedroom.

I have just seen the layout so my suggestion would not work as I have a separate lounge and dining room downstairs. You must give your kids the upstairs bedrooms and you sleep downstairs BUT if your sofa bed is not comfy either get a decent topper (some incredible mattress toppers which work on sofas around) or invest in a comfy sofa bed. Look at tiny living on YouTube for ideas in small spaces. You can even get pull down double beds from the ceiling for clever tiny living. Many ideas from people who have converted vans into houses etc. Trust me your house will be a palace compared to the size of some of these tiny places people live in but with clever thinking they fit so much in!!!

The other idea is could you share with one of the girls? You can get triple beds - a single bed over a double bed. Then add those tents that go around the mattress for privacy. For both the double and single bed!

It will be difficult to have any sort of intimacy sharing but you can find ways around that.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bed-Tent-Portable-Breathable-Doors，Phone/dp/B0D7M81WL2/ref=mpssa114?crid=1WRYM808HNSK6&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.LI-kxgi1HctLH06P2YeMZMNUGuA8kZvmySlUKWUHw83T5LLbXP4HnsCXk08zzNZ9dkR4zSTmkmjZmaCJq4tqFarTm81BCeNl1ueWcNi24IK1g40Arp1UUTSFMhkmHKF3pbaEDowp1rcEV70OdoW7lrRg6fLqcTZI3mMq88Bpr8ppn3-QSLCcve7PVzEK73xMmcQWbyunRlFqYMIZzzLQ.miDAHh1zqlXdT35T-mQQMT-fTUV3tlB2T2-b1v9YNHI&dibbtag=se&keywords=bed+tent+double&qid=1738705674&sprefix=bed+tent%2Caps%2C92&sr=8-4

Presuming that you own, when your fixed rate ends I would take as much money out as possible and put that towards a proper loft conversion.

If this is a long term setup which is what it sounds like then I don’t think you can get by with sleeping in the living room. I wouldn’t be spending any money in DIY/ temporary solutions, just save everything you can for a proper liveable conversion.

I would get rid of the living room as a living room entirely. Make it fully into your bedroom. Put a telly in the kitchen and sit on a kitchen table and watch shows together in there/play board games/whatever.

If the kitchen is too small for a table this obviously won't work but if there's space for a table this is what I would be doing.

Failing that I think I'd have to put a wall up in the bigger room and the kids share that.

What about this - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNeoULahB/

You need to be on TikTok - you basically split the big bedroom into two using bunk beds

Could you afford to have a carpenter build you a room divider with storage on either side and split the biggest bedroom?

Do you still have the sofa bed? Get good toppers from IKEA for the sofa bed, they make a world of difference. Move the daybed upstairs. That will give you and DH a comfortable private space of your own which will also work for family use during the day.

Use the smallest room for storage and for stashing the toppers and bedding out of sight. Create a cosy corner in there so either of the DDs can escape when they need private time.

Put both DDs in the big bedroom but zoned so each DD has their defined space.

Have a look at tiny house conversions on YouTube for space saving ideas.

Also, I think I remember Stacey Solomon doing a decluttering programme where two families were combining and they needed to create space. If you can find it, there were some good ideas there.

Yes, I sleep on the sofa and it's getting to me.

I have nowhere to store my stuff. I yearn for my own space and feel like I'm homeless in my own house.

No helpful advice, just solidarity, it's rubbish.

Agree with the basic loft ideas! Pull down ladder and clear out the loft, basic flooring. You could just do a floor bed etc. It would be cosy!

Sounds like you are doing a great job to support your kids x

Perfect solution, OP, just send one back, should have only had one.

You have no idea why the OP lives in this current situation. This comment really isn't helpful.

I have seen splitting one bedroom into 2 by using a bunk approach. The top bunk (single) opens into one side and the lower bunk (double) into the other bedroom. You basically make a wall at the back of each bed, to give privacy. You do need to make a dooorway into each room, but it can be a privacy curtain. In your circumstances you may need something more substantial given the need for a latch for your younger one.

It really wouldn't be cosy.

Do you need the bedrooms to be where they are? If one of them is bigger, could the living room be turned into a kids bedroom and the bigger room be the living room/your bedroom? How big is the kitchen? is it possible to have a living space in there?