We have no bedroom and it's stressful

[Fishandchipsareyum]

Hello

We have a small 2 bedroom house and the girls each need a bedroom as they are both autistic and eldest is a pda and 7 years older than the youngest. The girls don't get on my eldest needs a lock on her door inside so her sister isn't allowed in. We are going to put a little latch on it for her.

We initially thought it was going to be ok, we bought an expensive sofa bed from ikea. It was hideous to sleep on so had to replace with a day bed that pulls out to a double but the sofa is in the way so it can't be moved to pull day bed out ( it's a tiny livingroom also) we have so much stress and we have no adult space and all my clothes are mostly in box's under the day bed. Husband sleeps on a mattress.

Guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has no adult bedroom because the children need a room each.

We can't afford to buy a bigger place. So we are stuck.

All that fits In the living room is the seating and the day bed ( single size pushed in) and a small unit for my things. Tv is on the inbuilt fireplace.

Youngest room is large but awkward so I'm not sure it could be split into 2. There is her bed and toys and books and I need to store towels and husbands clothes in her room.

I just can't help dread getting older in this place. I try and be positive but I feel quite down. I work 24/7 ( minus the sleeping tike lol) and I would have enjoyed a place to call my own bedroom for rest.

100% this! 👏 Every family I have ever known with more than 2 children, had siblings who shared. Multiple dozens of families when I was growing up had 2 or 3 girls in one bedroom, and 2 or 3 boys in another. Several families I knew had 4 girls or 4 boys in one bedroom - 2 sets of bunk beds!

Letting 2 girls rule the roost, and let their own parents be pushed into the lounge, bunking up on a couch or sofa bed with all their possessions and clothes around them - so the girls can have a bedroom each 'because they don't get on' is batshit. Stop pandering to these children! Get them to share a bedroom. Just fashion some kind of divider!

Could you rent your two bedroom property out and then return you rent a three bedroom property?

I'm sorry if others have said this already, but could you use the daybed as your sofa and get rid of your living room sofa to free up space? It's what a lot of people do in Sweden, you just put lots of pillows around the rails (I'm Swedish). The girls can have beanbags to sit on, maybe? There are inspiring books about how people live in small flats (in places like Stockholm and NY city), I have one by IKEA. Sometimes as you say living in a place that's small is the only option.

Years ago a divorced friend had this issue when moving from a large property to one with only two bedrooms. In the end she found a carpenter who was able to partition the room off for them. It wasn't perfect but it worked. She really needed her own room as she had an incredibly stressful job and found it hard to get off to sleep.

I totally understand. We are in the same situation. We gave my 11 year old dd her own room and 7 year old Ds is in with us. He has a loft bed so can store toys underneath and we fitted a curtain track to the ceiling for privacy. Let me see if I can attach pics

I don’t know how to add photos?

My ds aide

I'm in the same position. A 2 bed with no bedroom for myself. I'm slightly luckier in that I have a dining room and front room, so I switched it up and made my front room my bedroom, which is curtained off. The dining room is now the front room. It's not ideal, but works for us. Do you own your property?

@plinkyblonk is it solely about the additional needs though? What about the 7 year age gap? What if they were different sexes?

I've done this for around 10 years but I'm single. I did get a decent ikea sofa bed with an actual mattress. Click clack style bed but I also made a fitted wardrobe in an alcove with non wardrobey doors. It actually looks like there should be another room beyond the doors...but sadly not!

You can't at the moment. The ability to post photos has been withdrawn until further notice.

OP if you haven’t already, this is absolutely worth looking into, we’ve been approved and work starts shortly to have a bedroom and separate shower room put in for my partner’s eldest. Just after we met he’d got approval for a funded loft conversion to create another bedroom, but didn’t go ahead as we talked about living together.

Do you have a dining room? Could you create an open plan kitchen living room and use the living room as a bedroom?

Could you consider something like this for the garden? Comes with electricity, insulation and doesn't take up much space at least for storage or somewhere to escape to in the evening. Not as nice as a log cabin but way more affordable
www.portablespace.co.uk/shop/flat-pack-units/flat-pack-cabins-for-sale-flat-pack-units?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAtYy9BhBcEiwANWQQLzyKd2b1MGvEMJsCxdX9tQ6wczCNgnZb0gvosa_Dg14bs2JTieTTIBoCZqIQAvD_BwE

Kids share with large age gaps. Not ideal, but they manage.

That, absolutely.

but op said the finances don’t allow.

For how long are you looking to be in that situation op? Is the eldest interested into studies?

OP does npt have a dining room. If she did there would be zero issue

we boarded part of my loft on Sunday. It costs about 20 quid a square metre for the chipboard sheets, though check they fit through your loft hatch beforehand. I wouldn’t use it for storage, I’d sleep up there (certainly in the summer). Pull up the ladder and the kids can’t even get to you :)

No but someone might be reading this thread, contemplating a second child, living in a small 2 bed and wondering about feasibility, and maybe reading some more sensible reflections might influence someone for whom it's NOT too late.

Its not always just about the OP, consider who else is reading this?

Its important to recognise different choices could have been made such that this situation, which is undeniably difficult for the OP could have been avoided

@JoyousGreyOrca I just can't see someone planning to have eg a 14 year old boy sharing with a 7 year old girl. So unfair on both, even if they are perfectly nice kids

I haven't read the entire trail so someone may have mentioned this/not be helpful... but could you clear out the living room and get 9ne of these Ikea hemnes daybed with 3 drawers? I had one of these in my spare room and slept on it when my ex and I were splitting up. It pulls out into a double - I regularly had adult couple guests sleep on it - and you could keep clothes and the duvet underneath in the drawers. Then maybe get those large cushion seat things for the kids in the front room that may take up less space and can easily be moved around.

https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/hemnes-day-bed-w-3-drawers-2-mattresses-white-afjaell-medium-firm-s49521503/

Can't be easy. Hope you find a way to be a bit more comfortable.

Instead of looking to change things in the house is there anything at all you can do to improve your earning prospects? Train, look for a better paid role,up your hours if you are part time?

Could you consider a cheaper area or even a cheaper part of the country?

Can you get someone to haul away the second couch so you can use the sofa bed you bought? Or advertise it on a buy nothing page and someone who wants it can just come and take it themselves?

We just measured and ...this is so annoying but if we want to split the larger room so each small "room" has half of the large window each side then one side is quite a bit bigger than the other with the smaller side not even fitting the length of a single bed ..... it's such an awkward room, I'm so frustrated.

You don't have to split it directly down the middle. You can make an L shape in the wall if you want. Talk to an architect and get creative.