To feel mortified I was settled out of my job?

[SackedandDisgraced]

NC’d as I am legally prohibited from speaking to anyone about this IRL.

I have been in my role for 8 years. Last 4 years I was SLT in a very large company. It was a very public facing role so lots of presence on social media and tv. New CEO came onboard early 2024 and took an instant dislike to me. She made my life a literal hell. I pushed through it and dusted myself off so many times but it just wore me down and in the end I just couldn’t cope and ended up being signed off for 6 weeks.

The day I came back to work I was brought into a meeting with CEO and offered a protected conversation and a settlement. Basically said if I didn’t take the settlement I’d be placed on performance improvement (despite my performance being exemplary for 8 years) and made it clear she didn’t want me there.

my mental health was at an all time low when I was offered money to cut and run, which I took but now regret.

I had to clear my desk in the evening when nobody was around so never got to say goodbye but the rumours started circulating and people speculated I’d been sacked. I just feel so mortified. Business announced I’d left a week later with a pitiful thank you for my contribution. This was a public announcement because of what I do so it’s out there in the masses and I’ve been bombarded with questions and all I feel is complete shame.

can’t speak the truth to anyone IRL as I’m bound by the settlement but just feel so low. As if that wasn’t bad enough I am struggling to find another job that pays anywhere near what I was earning with the flexibility I had.

any words of wisdom?

This exact thing is happening to me at the moment, new boss and the taking a shine to a junior colleague (I think it’s because someone more junior is much more malleable).

I know a Settlement Agreement is coming, I have also just started to look for new roles….so will see what happens.

it’s helpful to know there is light at the end of the tunnel!

I'm sure you've had legal advice but I'm not sure how your employer had a 'protected conversation' when you were not in dispute.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. You've got it - my junior colleague was also malleable and VERY compliant, so I can see the attraction for a certain type of manager. I hope you get a good payout!

YY to the union and house insurance policy including legal expenses. Both absolutely worth the relatively small cost.

Oh, what a tricky and horrible situation for you to be in
Please remember that you did nothing wrong. It's circumstances that led you to this. You've been dealt a shit hand but for the sake of your mental wellbeing, you must try to move on.
I'm so sorry and wish you nothing but the best going forward.

I know someone who wanted a specific job..they were more than qualified, but worked voluntarily at an animal hospital to get hands on experience at a place that had a bit of a bad reputation for high staff turnover.

This person witnessed a dog being throttled by a member of staff , the nylon collar being twisted so tightly that the dog screamed and lost control of his bowels...his crime? growling at the staff member.

The excuse ? ''No dog growls at me and gets away with it''

The friend challenged the throttler, a ''What are you doing!'' and was basically told to leave and not return.
As a volunteer, there was no comeback.

She got a good reference, but it definitely really upset her.

People she thought were her ' friends' there just said ''you shouldn't have said anything''

People paid good money to have their animals treated there, not throttled.

Bullying definitely happens.
Good luck, @SackedandDisgraced Chin up.

No!!! Definitely don’t do this!

@SackedandDisgraced It's so good to hear that you feel better after seeing all the supportive messages. This is MN at its best. Solidarity, good advice and support from people who identify with your experience and really want to help.

I'm really chuffed that a suggestion I made helped you, so you've helped someone else feel good too!
Hopefully soon you'll change your username 💐

This is a really common situation. At my company we had a new CEO and Chief Exec arrive. Then shortly after that, there were a stream of announcements about every single Director who were either going on an extended trip abroad, taking time off to look after an ill parent, time off to see their children through some difficult exams, had a health issue they wanted to take time off for etc, etc and other vague happenings. Everyone knew what was going on and that none of this was true.

Don't fool yourself that you could have or should have fought this. It would have broken you and you would never win. You did the right thing to protect yourself, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.

The answer at the interview is 'there was a change of management and my role was no longer required so I was made redundant'. Emphasise that it was about the role and not you. Practice the words you want to use, keep it vague, short and high level. Do some self care and use the time to rest and treat yourself to some nice things.

Thanks!!! Am sure they will try and palm me off with 6 mths…..but I want 2 years. I am blessed that I can afford legal fees and am so pissed off at how I have been treated am inclined to take it rather far!

My goodness, I hope she went public with that and ruined them.

You done the right thing at the time.

Your mh is more important than any job.

You'll definitely find a job that suits you with your experience, for now take the time to heal.

They definitely took advantage while you were fragile, maybe seek so legal advice if it feels right.

It's probably not worth dragging it out publicly for future employment prospects.

I know of a few fellow women that were managed out of the jobs they did fantastically well! Mostly by other women unfortunately

Honestly OP, it doesn’t reflect badly on you. I used to work in the exec office of a massive multi-national and when leadership changed, it was inevitable there’d be people who “left to spend more time with their family”. They were all NDA’ed up and would disappear for a time, before rising again in something super elsewhere. Recruiters know this.
And the more senior your role, the more likely your colleagues won’t stay in touch. They’re terrified they’ll be next and don’t want their allegiance questioned. All of it sucks, but it’s no reflection on you. Chin up, press on, and trust you’ll find something worthy of your skills.

That is true - but to a certain extent, we are also defined by our work, particularly,when in senior positions or certain professions

i imagine there will be a 'no disparagement' clause in OP's settlement agreement

The place has a new management now, Bought out by one of the big companies.
The Throttler has long gone.

As for why you left in interviews , you could say that senior management changed and their approach didn’t align with your own ethical and moral principles. Say they fostered a work environment that didn’t promote staff growth. As you’d already proved your own capabilities during the 8 years prior, you felt it was time to share your finely tuned skills with a new company more aligned with your own ambitions.

Make this all about the success you’ve had previously and how you’re ready to share that with a new company. It’s going to take a new job and new success to re-build your confidence, all you need to do is limp through the interview process and keep going! Once you have your next new success you can reconnect with old colleagues. Time will make this all better and the unnecessary shame will disappear and your next new job might be even better!

Just an alternative view from an ex Occupational Health practitioner...

Were you of sound mind when you took the payoff and signed the NDA?

Were you on antidepressant medications under the care of a doctor?

Did the doctor judge you well enough to return to work? Or did you make that decision because 6 weeks really isn't very long for a recovery from a mental ill health condition. Did they offer you support?

Has the solicitor recorded you went against his advice in signing away your rights in order to protect your mental health / just to get respite from the bullying?

Could the NDA possibly be void for those reasons and you take further action.
It really depends on how aggrieved you feel and what the solicitor says.

@SackedandDisgraced seeing your last response someone has possibly mentioned this.

You noted earlier "I’m just falling to pieces in the interview process when I’m being asked why I left my old company".

Have a think about a response you can live with eg "I'd worked there for a number of years and had reached the point where I had done everything I had set out to achieve (have some examples) with that organisation and now I am looking for my next opportunity. I've been fortunate to be able to take my time and focus on roles that really interest me." Then link into what interests you in the role you're interviewing for.

Something plausible that people can relate to.

That does sound a bit wishy washy and artificial. I'd be factual. There was a new CEO and change of leadership - restructuring - occupational hazard of working for a big corporate. So now seizing the opportunity to blah blah blah

Edited to say: this is on the basis that the background to you leaving may be known in your industry

She's already signed a settlement agreement

Legal fees for employment issues are usually covered through house insurance

Honestly, you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and focus your energy on what’s next. You can’t change what’s passed, and often these things say more about the new leader / team than the person being exited.

Presumably this experience has taught you more about what you do not want from your next role, than what you do. But that’s ok.

Sadly, you’re not the first and you won’t be the last. Give yourself 2 weeks to relax. Go on holiday or do something that you find calming. Once you’re back, treat the job hunt as a full time job. Get yourself in meetings with specialist recruiters, make notes on examples you can draw from in interview etc. Focus on what’s next. Also, rather than being ‘immediately available’ - pick a date in the future you’re available from. It only has to be 2/4 wks in the future, but I find people are more respectful of your time if they don’t think you’re sat at home waiting for their call.

Also, if you’re UK based did you know you can claim non-means tested JSA? Apply now because they always deduct a few days at the start.