To feel mortified I was settled out of my job?

[SackedandDisgraced]

NC’d as I am legally prohibited from speaking to anyone about this IRL.

I have been in my role for 8 years. Last 4 years I was SLT in a very large company. It was a very public facing role so lots of presence on social media and tv. New CEO came onboard early 2024 and took an instant dislike to me. She made my life a literal hell. I pushed through it and dusted myself off so many times but it just wore me down and in the end I just couldn’t cope and ended up being signed off for 6 weeks.

The day I came back to work I was brought into a meeting with CEO and offered a protected conversation and a settlement. Basically said if I didn’t take the settlement I’d be placed on performance improvement (despite my performance being exemplary for 8 years) and made it clear she didn’t want me there.

my mental health was at an all time low when I was offered money to cut and run, which I took but now regret.

I had to clear my desk in the evening when nobody was around so never got to say goodbye but the rumours started circulating and people speculated I’d been sacked. I just feel so mortified. Business announced I’d left a week later with a pitiful thank you for my contribution. This was a public announcement because of what I do so it’s out there in the masses and I’ve been bombarded with questions and all I feel is complete shame.

can’t speak the truth to anyone IRL as I’m bound by the settlement but just feel so low. As if that wasn’t bad enough I am struggling to find another job that pays anywhere near what I was earning with the flexibility I had.

any words of wisdom?

You haven't been sacked. You've been an offered a price and taken it. That's a very different thing.

Ok, so maybe you could have squeezed a year of cash out of them if you'd had the stomach for the fight - but you decided that the right thing for you was for this ridiculous situation to end so you can put it behind you.

And that's what you must do. Reframe this in your mind: the situation was so shite you chose to leave. And now you're on the cusp of the next chapter of your career. This is exciting.

Do you have an idea what you want to do next?

@SackedandDisgraced this is a great answer to use. As a PP says upthread, rehearse (out loud) before any interviews. So it sounds natural and unrehearsed!

I, like so many on this thread, have been in a similar position to you. It’s shit. But it really is them, not you. You are far far better off out there, even if it doesn’t feel like that now. You will find a new (better!) role, and your confidence will come back.
I suspect your old work friends have either been told not to contact you, or feel it’s too awkward.
And yes, counselling is well worth looking into. I did it, and it was very beneficial.
Good luck.

i don’t think you should feel sacked or disgraced. It is really common for a new CEO to want to change most of the SLT in their first year - they will want their own team and will often bring in people they’ve worked with before. So you should have no concern that anyone interviewing you for a similar position will think for a minute that what happened has anything to do with your ability or performance. It’s just what happens. Good luck - you’ll find something better.

When people ask, just say that you decided it was time to move on given the longevity of your role there and you wanted a new challenge.

"I had been with company for 8 years and felt I was becoming stale as there weren't many opportunities to make a difference. I had hoped that new management would mean a shake up, but I soon realised it was going to be business as usual for the next few years. Rather than stay and stagnate I decided to leave for a new challenge."

Put this into your own words and learn it. They shouldn't ask about money but you can say, "I was lucky that I have sufficient funds to support myself while I'm looking for my next role. If I had stayed I wouldn't have had the time to job-hunt."
"I knew if I stayed I wouldn't be motivated to find a new role."

You can also ask ChatGPT for phrases. I recommend getting counselling to support you while you are grieving.

This is about them, not you. I think you were perceived as a threat and they weren't mature enough to deal with that.

It does happen all the time, especially ad you get more senior. When a new CEO comes, it’s gloves off and wholesale bloodbath more often than not. Very, very common. But it is a shock when it happens to you first time round. It’s not going to be helpful to be negative about your settlement in your current situation as it’s done but may be a lesson for the future. 6 months after 8 years is way too low. Your notice was probably at least three months so it’s only three months settlement you got on top. After 8 years and being SLT I would expect at least 12 months plus whatever bonus/accelerated share options vesting etc. You also negotiate your exit - how, when, exactly wording of statement internally, externally etc. I would not worry too much about how it’s perceived externally as it’s fairly common. Best advice I’d give to a friend is spend some time coming g to terms wit me it, understanding and internalising the message that it’s not you, etc. Going forward, you need to make sure you stay current, in touch with search firms, keep your Cv and network up to date etc.

They disparaged you for getting in at 7.30am, and leaving before 7pm?? What?? This is clearly a really, really bad employer who you don’t want to be working for.

Fight and take them to the cleaners. We did. They didn’t expect us to. I’d still like to meet her and call her a cunt to her face though.

In the long run, best thing that could have happened. But absolutely not at the time. The grass will be greener eventually.

further to my post above, a careers counsellor advising you on this will also be able to help with the wording of why you left that is within the NDA.

In addition, your counsellor will have an ethical/professional requirement for confidentiality, so you can speak with her/him about the NDA

With huge payoffs.

I also left my last job under crappy circumstances - it really impacts your confidence. What are you doing with your time off? I'd really recommend doing some qualifications, sport, hobbies, volunteering - anything to learn new skills, meet people, feel valued.

This crappy bully will leave the company sooner rather than later, as she clearly has no concept of loyalty. She's probably bullying others right now. If it's anything like my former workplace, they'll all fall out with each other, turnover will be skyhigh, and in a few years you'll feel smug safely observing from a distance.

Please stop beating yourself up for the decision you made.

You made the right decision, your mental health may feel crushed right now but imagine if you had stayed how worse it would be.

There are highs there are lows, have no shame that right now the world has thrown you low. It will all realign for you at one point I absolutely guarantee.

In the mean time please try to be positive and keep ploughing through rebuilding your confidence.

Once you are placed on a Pip there is no going back. You did the right thing.

You need to take control of the narrative. The more you stay in the shadows with your tail between your legs the worse it looks for you.

Write a big shiny linkedin post gushing about exciting times ahead, perusing new avenues etc thanks for 8 great years but time for change. Word it how you want but frame it as a good thing and something you chose to do.

Then organise your own leaving dinner with your work pals. Put your spin on it the best way you can without breaking non disclosure laws. Let them read between the lines that your new boss was shitty.

Take time to network like crazy and put the feelers out talk to specialist recruitment agencies. Your public profile holds currency, write some blogs with industry insights, get yourself into the boards of a couple of charities, promote yourself as a guest speaker at industry related unis. Ie keep yourself relevant.

I'm not sure what you did but if you have a media profile with your old job tout yourself as a commentator for radio/TV panel shows if that is appropriate.

Good luck!

These things are generally not very enforceable, and especially if she only mentions it in the privacy of a job interview. What's going to happen — is the interviewer going to dob her in to the company? Even if they did, it's one person's word against another.

On the other hand, claiming that a large prominent company had a round of redundancies, when it didn't, is a lie, which will either be spotted ("Huh, my sister works there and she says business is great") or will be grounds for dismissal if it ever gets caught out.

There's no perfect solution, but the truth is probably what will produce the least stress in the interview room. "Excuse me if I seem a bit nervous about mentioning it, but they also made me sign an NDA" might actually help, too.

It’s really easy to say don’t take it personally, and when you love your job it’s very hard not to.

I work at a very senior level in large companies and this happens ALL the time. Often when a new CEO or new c suite comes in they will have a certain way of working or a certain team they want to build and if your face doesn’t fit then you will be compromised out.

It happens FAR more than you realise.

It’s happened to me twice in my career. The first time I was totally blindsided and it didn’t help that the CEO was clearly gaslighting me and enjoying the sport to make me leave and ended up with me forcing a compromise. Second time was much nicer and a grown up conversation and the company treated me well as a leaver.

In all honestly the scars from the first time it happened ran deep and it took me about 5 years to recognise it was a them issue not me. Time and progression helped - I can now turn around and say FU as I’m happy with my career trajectory since then and to be honest they did me a favour.

You were there for 8 years, and it’s perfectly acceptable if asked why you left that you felt you’d done your time and with a new CEO
coming in that it seemed like a good point to try something else. No one is going to question it, and i would bet the new CEO has a rep in the market so you don’t need to say more. FWIW The gaslighting CEO (who has now retired) had such a bad rep in the market that even now when people see I worked with him they don’t even need to ask why I wanted to leave. And this is about 15 years later….

It’s ok to grieve this though, especially when work is such a part of your identity. But it will get better and you will find another job / path…

Sounds like you need time to heal.
Easily said I know -
but your workplace.. balancing that with an unsupportive manager and young children, you have probably been living 'on edge' for some time.
This will be the best thing that ever happened to you. It's an amazing opportunity! Anyone asks, you decided to set up on your own.
You won't look back xx
Just give yourself a few months to heal and only meet friends that make you feel better not worse xxx

Normal to feel the way you do OP, sorry.

People will be aware what's happened but are scared to lose their jobs, so will try and stay out of it.

Unfortunately rumors are a thing where people try to fill in gaps and to be seen to be in the know.

I've had some ridiculous rumours before but the best thing to do is ignore.

People soon move on.

Good luck with a new job.

I was recently settled out of a job. I was in HE, so it was very unlikely I would get to work in the sector again, which made it particularly brutal. While completely down to lines in Excel and the wider sectoral crisis, it was still really painful.

I've arranged counselling, got in touch with old friends, and spent a couple of months gardening and job-hunting. I've treated it like a bereavement.

But I've come through it. This is just part of life and sometimes we're just hit by bad luck. Being good and hardworking doesn't immunise us from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, any more than anyone else.

Do you have mentors or former colleagues outside the firm that you can talk to, who can help you make sense of it?

You can take control of your narrative - say something very positive on LinkedIn. You can do this. Put your best face forward.

All the very best of luck.

She clearly felt threatened by you, and wanted you out of the picture. She behaved badly, and probably got where she has due to being ruthless and brutal. Hold your head high. It was the right decision for you. These things happen. Work on building up your confidence - I’m sure you will get another job.

Also, I wouldn’t dive into a job search straight away. You are too vulnerable right now. It will come through in interviews. Take some time to grieve, heal and re-group, have counselling/coaching for sure. And again it happens all the time. Really. Lose that hang up. You are not sacked and disgraced - it was clearly not fit in terms of culture and direction going forward. They did you a favour as you’d be hanging on due to pay and would have been death by a thousand cuts. They didn’t go about it in a nice way - I had to deal with multiple senior level departures and I make sure it’s as humane and dignity preserving for all parties as possible. The process is never pleasant but in most cases we stay in touch and on perfectly amicable terms. We come up with face saving exit comms etc. So I wouldn’t have an issue with the fact they did it, but the way they did it is unnecessary and quite abhorrent. Wouldn’t be in line with my ethics but there are plenty of nasty pieces of work.

There is loads of good advice on here, and I have been positively nodding my head at what many posters have said, and I believe that many other people will be along to listen in or comment, because it has happened to them too. I would not feel too guilty about not processing it well either, this takes time, and it is a really unusual person who says on the Monday, well that's that then, and gets another role by the Friday. However, the money does not last forever, and eventually you need to get back on the horse. But do it armed with answers from here, and you were not sacked. They restructured, at the whim of the new CEO. And believe me, that CEO will fall on their own sword eventually if they are placing unfair expectations on their team. May take a while, and you won't be around to see it, but by then, you won't care. As for your colleagues, this is hard to bear, but you do not know what they have been told they can and can't do, and they may be feeling awkward, and a whole host of other things. I wish you luck and love and re-finding your confidence and getting back out there, there are, genuinely, better employers. x

I can’t believe all of the kindness I am reading. I was expecting a complete roasting if I’m honest. I can’t believe so many of you have spent your time to give me such valuable advice, I only wish I’d posted on here sooner as I’ve been in a black hole of self-induced doom. My close family have been sympathetic and supportive but they would be their my family, I’m encouraged my strangers on the internet supporting me because you have no agenda and no bias towards me. It really means a lot.

I am going to write down all of the fantastic suggestions, I particularly like the idea of memorising a positive spin on why I left. I don’t really want to mention NDAs etc. as I think it’ll just raise more questions. I’m most certainly going to look into counselling too as it’s clear I need it to live beyond this.

I'm wondering if I work at this company.
If so, you were a role model to me, and to lots of other women, and still are. The company is worse off, and will continue to decline without you I suspect.
(I'm sure this is true regardless of whether you are who I think you are btw.)

It's not you lovely - it's them ! Get out there loud and proud , contact headhunters etc and if asked just state- change of CEO who wanted a change of direction so you mutually parted ways. There's an awful lot of twats at the top these days and big swinging dicks- male and female - I blame the Apprentice!!

My company always says people are "exploring opportunities outside the company". They must think we are very thick to not see that's code for "been sacked". The CEO left recently and the announcement was that "he had mutually agreed with the board to explore other opportunities". Mutually agreed as in they said "can you do one mate?" and he said "alright then".