To feel mortified I was settled out of my job?

[SackedandDisgraced]

NC’d as I am legally prohibited from speaking to anyone about this IRL.

I have been in my role for 8 years. Last 4 years I was SLT in a very large company. It was a very public facing role so lots of presence on social media and tv. New CEO came onboard early 2024 and took an instant dislike to me. She made my life a literal hell. I pushed through it and dusted myself off so many times but it just wore me down and in the end I just couldn’t cope and ended up being signed off for 6 weeks.

The day I came back to work I was brought into a meeting with CEO and offered a protected conversation and a settlement. Basically said if I didn’t take the settlement I’d be placed on performance improvement (despite my performance being exemplary for 8 years) and made it clear she didn’t want me there.

my mental health was at an all time low when I was offered money to cut and run, which I took but now regret.

I had to clear my desk in the evening when nobody was around so never got to say goodbye but the rumours started circulating and people speculated I’d been sacked. I just feel so mortified. Business announced I’d left a week later with a pitiful thank you for my contribution. This was a public announcement because of what I do so it’s out there in the masses and I’ve been bombarded with questions and all I feel is complete shame.

can’t speak the truth to anyone IRL as I’m bound by the settlement but just feel so low. As if that wasn’t bad enough I am struggling to find another job that pays anywhere near what I was earning with the flexibility I had.

any words of wisdom?

Take a look at the book by Eleanor Tweddell “Why Losing Your Job Could Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You”
It has really good lived examples on the stages of grief, how others respond to your redundancy “news” and how to look forward to a fantastic future.
Sadly many new CEOs like to make a big entrance and shake the teams up. Doesn’t mean that those decisions were the best. It’s just business.

Don’t feel bad about feeling bad - first time it happened to me I couldn’t get out of bed for a couple of weeks, didn’t take a shower for days, thought my life was over. I am now in a position I NEVER thought I’d ever be in in terms of power, pay, influence etc. NEVER. So onwards and upwards. You are clearly very good, you’ll get there even if it takes time and some detours. We live longer, work longer, it’s a marathon not a sprint. In any case, at 8 years in one company you might be perceived as becoming institutionalised so it’s a good tome for a change anyway, regardless of how nasty the actual process.

A similar thing happened to me. Flawless record for years until a management change. A few observations.

If you’re struggling to get a clear head around this, it might be a good time to take some time out - invest in travel and do something you love - maybe that trek to Nepal you always wanted. It can help your perspective to have a complete change of scenery for a a few weeks.

Most former colleagues and collaborators working on a similar level are not stupid. Some who you worked with for a long time prior to the arrival of the new CEO are probably thinking,

‘WTF? She was consistently really good, whatever happened?’

Please reach out to these people when you feel able, maybe ask them to write you a brief reference on your Linked In if that might help.

Feel assured that when your exemplary record continues into your next role, and the next, this CEO’s judgement will come to be questioned.

I never went back to being an employee. I started my own company, and probably would not have gone down such a fruitful route if I had continued to be employed. These life events can turn out to be a blessing, although it feels a long way from that when you’re going through it!

OP, as well as counselling, I'd suggest some coaching. You can use counselling to come to terms with what's happened and coaching to work on achieving your professional goals (starting with a goal to be able to answer an interview question about why you left your last role).

Very sorry to hear this OP. Similar happened to someone I know and they told me that in the US a lot of things we regard as fails here are seen as learns (e.g. a start up failing). They would advise you to be glad you're out, know it was them not you, come up with a robust stock answer to why you left (good ones suggested above), get a new job you love and leave the buggers behind you. This is is what my friend did. I was surprised they weren't more bitter, especially as it was publicly known, but they just said these things happen in business. They are now in a better job than before and much happier. I know it's easier said than done, but don't allow this to affect you and be bloody proud that you are exactly the sort of person who knows that going home at a more than fair time in order to tuck your precious kids in is the right thing to do 💪🏻💐

Good advice

I've been dismissed three times. The first time I was devastated and thought I would never recover. Now I realize that it's actually fairly common and happens a lot in certain industries.

Don't worry op - you will move on and do better

Emm no. That sets off huge red flags. Make up something plausible but not derogatory to either party

I hear you! I took the 'wrong' side in a dispute between my head of service and her superior. I only spoke up for what I thought was right.

After director was suspended (for shite allegations!) I and a colleague took out a grievance. Upholding our grievances would have provided evidence in support of director. We three were sacked. I was reinstated on appeal, the other two went to tribunal and got a settlement. I was told I would never be promoted in the organisation.

I've remained with the same employer and spent 20 years in 'Colditz' where there wasn't a proper role for me. I was bored stupid, but I was treated with respect and my Masters was paid for. I also had 3 maternity leaves.

Suddenly, I was asked to transfer into my area of expertise. I was then blown out three times applying for promotion, even though I had way more experience and was far more qualified. Line manager dislikes me because I question things, and she doesn't know the answers, because she is far less qualified than I am.

Just waiting for retirement. I was a high achiever at school, and this is how I have ended up.

“No longer a good cultural fit for me.” is the right answer in an interview process.

You’re not breaking the terms of your agreement but it says what needs to be said.

Have you got an agreed reference?

I completely get it—I worked with someone exactly like that too! A new female boss who seemed to think she had to prove how tough she was 🙄

No matter what I wrote, it was never good enough. She’d have me rewrite things over and over, nitpicking every little detail. She even printed out my work, covered it in red ink like a schoolteacher, and half the time, her handwriting was so bad I couldn’t even read what she wanted changed.

She was completely inconsistent—changing her mind a dozen times so no one ever knew what was right. Then, in meetings, she’d call people out aggressively in front of executives, making sure everyone knew who was in charge. It was exhausting.

But honestly, when a company hires (and keeps) someone like that, it says a lot about the company itself. They know exactly what kind of manager they’re bringing in—usually during restructuring or when they want to push people out. These toxic leaders aren’t accidents; they’re part of a strategy.

I know it’s hard. It feels awful to have your name dragged through the mud, everyone think you’ve been fired, especially when you don’t get to explain your side of the story. But does it really matter what your former colleagues think? If you were gone tomorrow, how many of them would truly care?

What matters now is moving forward. Have a clear, concise answer ready for interviews about why you left—keep it neutral and professional. And most importantly, don’t let this define you.

You’ve got this. Wishing you all the best!

You sound wonderful - and if you hadn't been so good, it wouldn't have hurt this much.

You will get through this, and it will make you stronger and a better leader. Clinging on would have been utterly miserable. Well done.

I left a long held job under a cloud of other’s making. Bullied/threatened out.

Unions wanted me to sue, I just wanted out, a new job and my mental health intact.

Others, of levels both above and below me, had been told lies/been led to believe all sorts about me.

Some of this came out when they’d been given similar treatment by the new head and realised what’d happened to me was happening to them.

I got a new job, happier, respected, valued.

A shitty time back then. But I ended up ok, kept my sanity.

All the best.

Also been there. It's late so I will comment tomorrow. But you aren't alone, about any of it.

And if you had a nda you weren't sacked!

You have absolutely done the right thing. Within my immediate team over the last 12 months someone exited after a PIP and it was excruciating for both him and his direct manager - the decision came from above. Someone else was 'restructured' out and got a minimum package. Six months is at least twice what they got. Honestly, if a new CEO/someone very senior takes against you there is very little you can do without putting yourself through the absolute wringer. It's not any reflection on your ability or performance and most people will know that. Your ex colleagues will be nervous as to where the axe falls next. It's been a lucky escape for you.

I’m currently being settled myself, similar situation being removed by newish CEO as my face doesn’t fit after ten years of executive level dedication. Very near retirement age and unlikely to get another job as a result although I can’t really afford to retire. After a long career in which I have been made redundant twice before (business rationalisation and business relocation) I don’t take it personally. A number of my friends have had similar issues, it really does go with the territory of being a senior leader. Although it doesn’t seem like it now the relatively quick exit is a good thing as you have not been subjected to a long period of bullying and threats. You will find another job and you will bounce back, don’t stop believing in yourself. Your colleagues will judge you on your work and your relationships with them and are just keeping quiet to save themselves. Don’t feel in any way embarrassed. As for interviews you have had good advice, practice what you are going to say, don’t over explain. ‘I’d been there for a long time and keen to have a change in direction, the changes on the organisation made me decide it was a good time to spread my wings’ etc. You’ve done the settlement and you’ve learnt from it, next time don’t get pushed around. There will almost inevitably be a next time as it really is part and parcel of senior fun and games. Most CEOs are entirely self interested and will tread on anyone without a moment’s thought to get what they want, it’s a fairly standard peril of seniority. Don’t be embarrassed and hold your head high. I’ve been treated appallingly for a couple of years but I’ve learnt to be detached and tough over my career. You can do this, it’s not your fault.

Wow, that's a long time! I know you mentioned the Masters and maternity but must be tough on your mental health.

The same thing happened to me several years ago. A new director joined and took an instant dislike to me and an instant adoration of my junior colleague. A few months later I was offered a settlement agreement and took it.

I understand the shame and the hurt - nobody contacted me, either. It's awkward, though since then I have made a point of messaging people in similar situations to wish them well.

But it turned out to be an absolute blessing. My next boss loved me, I learned so much from her, and my pay jumped £20k at that company. The settlement money became the deposit for my house. And I got away from a woman determined to treat me badly.

I had a similar situation with an incompetent who was appointed above me in a role he didn't understand. He was extremely resentful of the fact I knew his job, and bullied me from day 1.

I found a new external role, resigned due to constructive dismissal, and ended up getting 5 months net salary as a payoff with an NDA.

Karma got said boss when he was asked to leave the organisation 4 months after I joined a new company, as the company twigged who'd been doing all the work, that he was full of hot air, and bullying a whole team.

I left for a 30% pay rise, and a much better job, which I don't regret in the slightest.

Spin your thinking on this situation round, given:

• you got out
• you got paid
• you don't have to deal with CEO

There are some great opportunities out there; pick yourself up and start lining your contacts and network to secure the new role. Once that's done, treat yourself with a bit of that 6 months money (in my case I bought a much needed car!).

Anonymously. It’s not like it’s a breach if we don’t know who they are.

Hi OP, while I have not read the entire thread (I do intend to) I just wanted to share that you are not alone.

It’s about to happen to me (re. Settlement agreement). Like you, all I did was exist….cant do anything right,….everything I do is wrong, in spite of being excellent at what I do.

New people come in and they have an idea of how they want the team to be, and sometimes faces don’t fit. A lot of times I think it’s not personal, albeit it ends up feeling like that.

Re. Going for new roles, just remember who you are and what you can do, you did nothing wrong. It’s an absolute disgrace that this happens to a lot of people.

Get yourself signed up to a Union and ensure you have legal expenses insurance on your house insurance (both of these things cost no more than a few quid a month!).

Have a narrative for your time off and look forward to being valued again.

good luck!

Yes, another one here who has suffered this - twice! There is life after being managed out, and I went on to happier things.....

OP - I know you feel awful and these kinds kf departures - where you are pushed out are always terrible.

I hate that bullying bosses can get away with it but look at the positive side - you got a settlement and able to avoid an awful PIP process followed by a sacking with no settlement. You are free of a demon so as bad as that sounds you have the freedom to look for something better with a cash cushion to help you with that.