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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worst thing your in-laws have ever said or done to you?

408 replies

Springsunshine123 · 03/02/2025 21:52

Whats the worst thing your in-laws have ever said/done to you? Long list of mine include:
MIL telling me on our wedding day “Did not expect this to be this nice from you”
MIL asking me how much my jacket was and when replying £50 she said (god are you sure, wouldn’t expect you to fork out that much!)
trying to feed my 9mo lucozade
wanting someone to blow smoke into my 7yo’s ear to cure his earache
telling me it was my fault her husband was coughing…. The list of gems is endless…GO!

OP posts:
Red0 · 04/02/2025 10:10

Oh and at the same time as telling my 3 y/o that I’d wanted to abort her, relishing in telling her how much more time they would get to spend together when I died (I had stage 3 cancer at the time) and how fun that would be

Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 04/02/2025 10:14

AnaMond · 04/02/2025 10:07

This is an awful thread but an old favourite to slag off the MiL. Yet the same females who are mothers are also mother in laws….

Very bizarre.

I hope to god i will never EVER treat my son’s wife the way I have been treated. I would never treat any other person on this earth the way my in-laws have treated me. I have actually told my husband if he notices me speaking or treating our son and future dil the way his mother has treated us for him to tell me to pull myself together and take a good hard look at myself at once!

OP posts:
ememem84 · 04/02/2025 10:18

Fil more than mil. They’re divorced now.

told DH I’m only after the family money. Got shirty with me when I told him no and that I had money of my own.

is pissed that I work because a proper wife should stay home and take care of her husband and kids (but see above re only after money….)

told everyone who’d listen that I had “3 months left” I’m going through breast cancer and had 3 months left OF CHEMO (conveniently missed out those words!). I am going to be fine.

fils gf tried to set DH up with her friends daughter because I have cancer and DH needs a “proper wife”

I no longer see them. DH is indifferent.

glittergogo · 04/02/2025 10:19

Some truly horrendous stories on here. A few attitudes could be put down to generational differences (although I don’t see why it’s impossible to keep one’s mouth shut if you have a different opinion/way of doing things to your DIL!)….but some things are downright cruel and nasty.

We are a good few years away but I cannot imagine myself or any of my friends behaving in such a way to their future in law children! Are we just much more emotionally literate and aware?! All I want is for my kids is to have a happy life - the partners they choose will be a part of that happiness (hopefully!), so why wouldn’t you welcome them?! It’s just so WEIRD

Catlitterqueen · 04/02/2025 10:19

Once walked in on MIL and DHs SIL making a list of people to invite to ‘the wedding’….MY WEDDING!
When I announced I was pregnant with DD1 MIL said ‘Oh, that’s a blow’ apparently I wasn’t the favorite DIL and she wanted her favorite to have her first grandchild….

glittergogo · 04/02/2025 10:21

@Springsunshine123 - agreed! I know exactly how NOT to behave to future in-laws now, thanks to the terrible example my own set 😂

SereneCapybara · 04/02/2025 10:23

Mine were and are lovely - it's my own parents unfortunately who came out with the worst, appalling comments, over the years.

But DFiL (who I love to pieces) upset me once when he told me a friend of his had told him to watch out for me, because we'd done IVF, so my babies might not be DH's. I almost walked out of the room when he said it. The irony is, the IVF was ICSII, and I almost had a row with one doctor who didn't understand why I refused to use donor sperm to improve our chances. But DFiL saw he'd upset me and never mentioned it again.

Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 04/02/2025 10:23

glittergogo · 04/02/2025 10:19

Some truly horrendous stories on here. A few attitudes could be put down to generational differences (although I don’t see why it’s impossible to keep one’s mouth shut if you have a different opinion/way of doing things to your DIL!)….but some things are downright cruel and nasty.

We are a good few years away but I cannot imagine myself or any of my friends behaving in such a way to their future in law children! Are we just much more emotionally literate and aware?! All I want is for my kids is to have a happy life - the partners they choose will be a part of that happiness (hopefully!), so why wouldn’t you welcome them?! It’s just so WEIRD

Edited

This 100%! It does raise the question is it a generational thing? You would think our MIL’s have been DIl’s themsellves? Or were they good obedient little daughter in laws who shut up and served the whole family? Its a weird one. I hope to god i will never treat my DIL the way I have been treated, and if I see my daughter bully her SIL the way DH sister has been bullying ne, I will put her in hervplace 😂

OP posts:
Calliekins · 04/02/2025 10:24

Lol where do I start! My MIL over the years has said many a thing that I've questioned myself why say that. She told me once my husband never knew if our relationship was going to go anywhere, I mean who does when you first meet someone (some ok) but why tell me. What was her point? She questioned our finances when I took a big redundancy, what business was it of hers. Asked me if I was doing right by my children raising them vegetarian. Told me my husband's ex was the daughter she never had. That's great I had a wonderful mum. The worst for me was when I told her my Mum was end of life status and was a matter of time, her reply was "do try and cheer up". Needless to say I am civil for my husband and family but there is no love there for me towards her.

aspidernamedfluffy · 04/02/2025 10:26

Another absolute doozy my (now thankfully ex), MiL came out with after I had given birth to a healthy girl, following 4 LTMs all of which were boys...." I would have preferred a grandson, but at least you managed to keep this one alive".

Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 04/02/2025 10:27

aspidernamedfluffy · 04/02/2025 10:26

Another absolute doozy my (now thankfully ex), MiL came out with after I had given birth to a healthy girl, following 4 LTMs all of which were boys...." I would have preferred a grandson, but at least you managed to keep this one alive".

O my god… i mean why? Can you imagine saying that to ANYONE let alone your own dil about your own grandchildren?!

OP posts:
Showerflowers · 04/02/2025 10:28

AnaMond · 04/02/2025 10:07

This is an awful thread but an old favourite to slag off the MiL. Yet the same females who are mothers are also mother in laws….

Very bizarre.

I'm a mil. My dil is amazing and we get along great. I learnt how NOT to be a nasty in law from my in laws.

Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 04/02/2025 10:29

Reading some of these comments its as if women loose all reasoning on how to be a decent human being in general…

OP posts:
OnlyThickBeans · 04/02/2025 10:31

My MIL holding my newborn said “I’ll pass them back to [DH’s ex wife name]”

MIL had my step DD whilst I went to hospital, urgently, because my bloods were being monitor for a pregnancy of unknown location (turned out to be a ruptured ectopic) on my return, we told PIL the sad news that there was no baby. Suspected miscarriage. She said “it’s not the end of the world” and proceeded to wave photos of DH’s exW newborn baby in my face. That was really upsetting. She said “have you seen exW’s baby aren’t they doing well”.

When DH got a house she told him not to move “a woman” (we’d been together 18m at this point) in there because she’d “take it all”.

When DH announced our engagement, three years after being together she said it was too soon and similarly refused to acknowledge my first pregnancy because we weren’t yet married. I was just a bit fat.

OnlyThickBeans · 04/02/2025 10:33

Oh and after I had surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy and fallopian tube the questioned the diagnosis because her observation was I wasn’t in enough pain when she saw me and should have been in more pain 🤣

Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 04/02/2025 10:35

OnlyThickBeans · 04/02/2025 10:31

My MIL holding my newborn said “I’ll pass them back to [DH’s ex wife name]”

MIL had my step DD whilst I went to hospital, urgently, because my bloods were being monitor for a pregnancy of unknown location (turned out to be a ruptured ectopic) on my return, we told PIL the sad news that there was no baby. Suspected miscarriage. She said “it’s not the end of the world” and proceeded to wave photos of DH’s exW newborn baby in my face. That was really upsetting. She said “have you seen exW’s baby aren’t they doing well”.

When DH got a house she told him not to move “a woman” (we’d been together 18m at this point) in there because she’d “take it all”.

When DH announced our engagement, three years after being together she said it was too soon and similarly refused to acknowledge my first pregnancy because we weren’t yet married. I was just a bit fat.

Edited

Bloody nuts….

OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · 04/02/2025 10:37

aspidernamedfluffy · 04/02/2025 10:26

Another absolute doozy my (now thankfully ex), MiL came out with after I had given birth to a healthy girl, following 4 LTMs all of which were boys...." I would have preferred a grandson, but at least you managed to keep this one alive".

Do you still have contact with her? She is horrible in so many ways. Saying that to a mother who has had 4 late term losses is despicable and the obvious preference for boys over girls would mean that I wouldn't let her have any contact with my daughter.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 04/02/2025 10:39

Some gems from my ex boyfriend's parents.

  • said I would never amount to anything
  • said I was only with him for their money
  • blamed me for how drunk my boyfriend was on his birthday - I wasn't even there!
  • his mum would ask if I was pregnant any time I had any form of appointment
  • invited me on their holiday and the complained I was around too much
  • complained that my boyfriend paid for "everything" because he'd paid for our lunch at Wetherspoons - as a thank you to me for taking him to London and paying for everything
  • his dad pushed me aggressively after shouting at me because his son was drunk - again, I hadn't been with him but he'd called us both to go and get him because he was "lost"

We were together between the ages of 16-19 (me)/18-21 (him)

jolota · 04/02/2025 10:39

Gave a thumbs up emoji to my husbands message announcing our engagement. Waited until we visited them to celebrate it, to say that he must be desperate for a visa to marry me.

tillytoodles1 · 04/02/2025 10:39

DancingCactusFlower · 03/02/2025 22:13

My MIL baptised DD over the sink with holy water as we wouldn't have her christened

My mum did exactly the same with both of mine.

chocaholic73 · 04/02/2025 10:46

I've had a few over the years - after my Mum died 'It's probably for the best as she wasn't going to get better' (not her place to judge). When we told PIL that we were expecting 2nd child (after quite a long gap as I don't seem to get pregnant very easily) 'you're not really a family until you've more than one child'. DD2 turned out to be autistic amongst other things and with incredibly challenging behaviour at times but apparently she was 'always fine' when she was with them. Yes, because she masks and comes home and lets it all out! Also described her as fat when she was in the room. In the next breath, she'd offer her another biscuit! Arrgh!

OnlyThickBeans · 04/02/2025 10:53

tillytoodles1 · 04/02/2025 10:39

My mum did exactly the same with both of mine.

Show quote history

What the hell!!!

aspidernamedfluffy · 04/02/2025 10:55

thepariscrimefiles · 04/02/2025 10:37

Do you still have contact with her? She is horrible in so many ways. Saying that to a mother who has had 4 late term losses is despicable and the obvious preference for boys over girls would mean that I wouldn't let her have any contact with my daughter.

Show quote history

DD is in her 30's now and, as far as I know, the last time she saw her dad's mother was in 2018 when DD's dad finally married the OW after 17 years. DD is getting married herself in a few months time and her dad's mum is only invited to the evening reception (she wasn't invited to any of it initially but DD didn't want the drama that would have created). DD was quite young when I divorced her dad so any contact would have been on his time not mine as I haven't spoken to /seen the witch since.

OnlyThickBeans · 04/02/2025 10:55

Reading these I can’t believe how nasty some people can be.

I wonder what it is about the DIL - MIL relationship which makes them think they can be so rude.

Original poster
Springsunshine123 · 04/02/2025 10:59

OnlyThickBeans · 04/02/2025 10:55

Reading these I can’t believe how nasty some people can be.

I wonder what it is about the DIL - MIL relationship which makes them think they can be so rude.

This, its completely mind boggling. I wonder if these MIL’s treat/speak to all women like this, or just the DIL’s? Its as if they have to prove that they are the superior ones (this is how it feels with my MIL and SIL anyway) its as if my very existence threatens their place in their hierarchy of importance in my husbands life 😂🥴

OP posts: