Worst thing your in-laws have ever said or done to you?

[Springsunshine123]

Whats the worst thing your in-laws have ever said/done to you? Long list of mine include:
MIL telling me on our wedding day “Did not expect this to be this nice from you”
MIL asking me how much my jacket was and when replying £50 she said (god are you sure, wouldn’t expect you to fork out that much!)
trying to feed my 9mo lucozade
wanting someone to blow smoke into my 7yo’s ear to cure his earache
telling me it was my fault her husband was coughing…. The list of gems is endless…GO!

It took months to get dd back on track. We didn't see PIL for a long time, and then went NC. DD is now a young adult and wants nothing to do with her GP.
MIL is a horrible person. She is never wrong, never needs advice, always better at everything. She is bitter and angry at her children now having more important women in theirs lives than her. All of her children in law are now NC with her. As I said, I could fill this thread with some of the things she has said and done.
My theory is that MIL is the type of person who is an expert at everything. She could not bring herself to phone me and ask for advice, despite having no experience with ND children.
MIL never apologised or showed any remorse or emotion. She said dd was told she could come back inside when she stopped screaming, she didn't stop so she left her there. In MIL's mind, that is perfectly reasonable discipline.

Edited to add: Yes she was cold and went overboard with discipline when dh and his siblings were young. Never cruel though, just harsh and cold. He left home at 16 to get away from her.

@TheNuthatch
I was at an event a few years ago and was telling a woman, Anne,that I didn't know too well how lovely her 12 year old (autistic) dgs was as he'd been helping his dp's at a music night taking food orders to tables.

She replied that he wasn't lovely.
Apparently he should have shared his tips with his older brothers ( they were not helping.)

She then told us that when her dgs was little he was upset as his mum left him with her the dgm whilst she went shopping.
Anne told us she slapped his legs hard to make him behave.
I've kept my distance from Anne since.

That's awful, poor child.
My MIL never looked after my dc after that. My SIL recently told me that years ago, my MIL went to visit SIL in hospital after she had her first baby. SIL was struggling to breastfeed, baby wouldn't latch on. My MIL heard, and promptly whipped out her own breast and gave it to baby, whilst telling my SIL how useless she was. There was a midwife in the room who gave MIL short shrift!

This is right.
I think the parents are supposed to want it though!

Good grief.
That's beyond weird.

😱😱 Eeewww

Yes she's a real peach my MIL. Thank goodness she's no longer in our lives.

Sooooo many, but here's a corker (and typical)

Sitting at the dinner table at PiLs, chatting to my lovely SiL drinking wine. Humourless, fun sponge MiL reaches between us and takes our wine glasses to 'wash up'. Glasses were half full ffs.

Without blinking, I got 2 fresh glasses from the cupboard, poured some cold wine from the fridge and carried on the lovely chat.

30 plus years of this, gimme a medal 😬

🏅 perfect response 👌

Omg this is just like how mine was (apart from it didn't just start when I had kids but THIS weird behaviour did), calling herself mum and trying to stop me bfing so she could have him alone, at 4 months!!! When I was having a lovely jokey time with my then toddler she said, "that's very unfair, you're trying to make him like you more than me" 😮

One crunch point (among many, of me raising massive barriers to protect myself from someone I had just naively assumed I would get to know better, well I guess i do now...) was this....
I was at home having another lovely lovely time with my three year old when he suddenly said "why aren't you a nice mummy?" I had to leave the room to cry so he wouldn't see me.
Some time later, we were at hers and she wanted to get him into his pyjamas. I was bringing something to them along the corridor and I heard her saying "what an awful mummy you've got, she's not very nice is she" on and on, planting these little seeds ☹️ and I realised my little boy hadn't been doubting me as a mummy, he was just confused by the different information he was getting. I was too shocked to say anything then, actually went into denial I think, but the next time I heard her whispering "Your mummy is awful isn't she" (again as I approached unseen) he shouted "NO SHE'S NOT". I see as little of her as possible now, but my FIL is very supportive.

JFC! Your MIL should be in jail. That was child abuse.

@Bogartme that's very like my MIL, she used to tell our baby son how cruel we were to him (luckily he was too young to understand) and she used to try to snatch him from people's arms till I lost my cool and told her off. She was OKish till we had him then the psycho switch was activated.

it does seem that babies activate the psycho switch in alot of MIL’s…

So is it about female to female relationships?

Is it about DiL’s rather than MiL’s?

Terrority? Control?

Hm I dont know… I get along with every single other female I have ever known really, I have got to the age of 33 without ever really having a cross word with anyone… until my MIL and SIL treated me as a strange threat…I certainly never viewd myself as threatening in any way 😂 i just fell in love with her son and birthed his children but there we are….

I do generally like my MIL but she spent my wedding day with a face like a slapped arse and she and FIL were rude to my parents when they'd paid for the whole bloody thing. I've never really forgiven them for that.

From my own experience, and that of friends, I think some women have a huge issue with their sons having a new leading lady in their lives.
It's as if they feel like they must fight to retain control and the new wife is the obstacle to their son's affection. My MIL could not cope with being a grandparent, to her that was a demotion from being the mum.

FIL doesn't like me, and nobody has any idea why.
I found this out when he first came to visit. This was my house btw, DW had moved in with me. He came to visit with his DW (my DW's SM) who was absolutely lovely and we got on amazingly well.
He completely ignored me. No hello, no nice to meet you. I tried to start a conversation and he talked over me. The second time I tried talking to him, DW was in the next room and he just got up silently and followed her.

This behaviour continued for about three years until DW lost it with him one day and they had an argument where she basically told him she wanted to cut ties as he never visits anymore, barely speaks to her, acts like I don't exist and was making her miserable.
So he text me and said I'd got what I wanted and alienated her from her family.
I get on perfectly fine with other IL's. It was all just really bizarre.

Mine hasnt done anything to me personally but she has certainly hurt her children. 3/4 of her kids are NC and DH is very LC with her- he feels he's the "link" person. Whilst he tries to be stoic and pragmatic and matter of fact, I know he hurts and it breaks my heart.

On the very rare occasions she deigns to see him/us, it's always and only ever because she wants to know something. She constantly tries to manipulate and fish for information. Unfortunately she's way too obvious about what she asks so DH feeds her bollocks, plays dumb/out of the loop or deflects it. She'll only play by her own rules / to serve her own interests (including attempting fraud and lying) and it has pushed everyone away. Husband has stopped trying beyond the odd message. It breaks my heart to see the hurt. It's still rejection.

However she's also a baby-loon so first hint of a DGC and she'd be out of the woodwork and all over us until the baby was big enough not to want to be just constantly held (she lost interest in all of hers once they weren't cute new borns, basically). We've already agreed she wouldn't be let near. She won't tell us where she lives so no way would we risk it. My wonderful FiL (they're divorced) is an amazing grandad and is at the heart of his family.

Criticised my mum straight after I gave birth and then completely ignored her afterwards. Essentially made the birth all about her, rather than the fact that her first GC had been born.

Deliberately gave me milk product when I said I was avoiding them post partum. Then told me about it in a smug way after I’d eaten.

Complimented me on my English despite h at being my first language. Others me whenever she can. Blames things on cultural differences when there are none.

Yelled at me when I was pregnant and made me cry and then apologised to my DH for “this issue” insinuating that I was the problem.

Told me off for having my mum stay and help after a traumatic first birth.

MIL is never wrong. She is always a victim. I think she is the worst person I’ve ever met and if my DH wasn’t so amazing I’d consider divorce just to get away from her.

Oooh look at all.your stretch marks ( 9 months pregnant my top.had ridden up)
I told you to use moisturiser on them I haven't got any at all

Total.cunt.

That's mind blowingly shit.
I'm so sorry @Istandinpause - miscarriage is tough enough without that 🌻

Not my PIL but BILs wife.
Our first child was born 7 weeks prem. Told everyone that he was brain damaged.
Not true.
Second child was 11 weeks prem. This was a girl and the first in 4 generations on DHs side. Again the brain damage topic was spouted. Again not true.
If the family went out for a meal she told her DH NOT to get our DD a drink.
Lots of other cruel things she did. But the one where me and DH lost it was the time MIL was looking after DD at her house while I went to see the GP. Sil went to visit not knowing that DD was there.
DD had a fringe and kept brushing it from her face. Mil went the loo and SIL got the scissors and cut not only her fringe but cut it above her ears.
When I returned MIL was crying and sil was laughing.
How I stopped from hitting her ill never know.
Fortunately we distanced from bil and his family.
She has since died and because she fell out with everyone I have been told that only her DH and 2 children were there. Not even her children's partners went.
She had 2 sisters and two brothers none attended.

Op, I have requested that my post be deleted. It has been pointed out to me that what I am describing is child abuse/neglect which i don't think is appropriate for the thread, particularly after recent events on MN. Thank you to those you have offered empathy and support to my dd 💐

I think that's totally right, the thing I can't work out is, even allowing for this, they can't actually think they're going to get to be mums again? And mine didn't even like childcare, she just wanted to 'be' mum somehow, with me doing the work. Did she think she was Peter Pan? Or she wanted her son, and grandson, but without me. But that's either a devastated son and/or a huge amount of work she didn't want. It makes no sense. Why pick a war with the one person who will deliver you a great relationship with your son and DGC (all other things being equal etc), I was the one who made all the arrangements, until suddenly I didn't 👍