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AIBU?

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Was I rude? (Being told to smile)

129 replies

ElevenBells · 03/02/2025 17:29

Out shopping with DD 8 and waiting in the self checkout queue. Just waiting quietly with DD stood slightly behind me when I spot a man saying something to her. Didn’t quite catch what he said so turned round and DD was looking up at me a bit embarrassed.
Then I heard the man say something a long the lines of ‘go on let’s have a smile then’. I didn’t address him but said to DD ‘you don’t have to smile because a strange man tells you to, just ignore him’. Then went to scan my shopping.
A woman near him commented to him how rude I was. And he responded with something like ‘no wonder the kids that way if she has a mother like that’. As we left the shop DD said I embarrassed her. Feel bad now but I remember being a quiet kid like DD and putting up with requests to smile because apparently little girls need to have a constant grin plastered across their face. Did I overdo it? DD seems to think I did but tbh I’d have liked to say more.

OP posts:
GillianCarole · 30/06/2025 13:43

ElevenBells · 03/02/2025 17:29

Out shopping with DD 8 and waiting in the self checkout queue. Just waiting quietly with DD stood slightly behind me when I spot a man saying something to her. Didn’t quite catch what he said so turned round and DD was looking up at me a bit embarrassed.
Then I heard the man say something a long the lines of ‘go on let’s have a smile then’. I didn’t address him but said to DD ‘you don’t have to smile because a strange man tells you to, just ignore him’. Then went to scan my shopping.
A woman near him commented to him how rude I was. And he responded with something like ‘no wonder the kids that way if she has a mother like that’. As we left the shop DD said I embarrassed her. Feel bad now but I remember being a quiet kid like DD and putting up with requests to smile because apparently little girls need to have a constant grin plastered across their face. Did I overdo it? DD seems to think I did but tbh I’d have liked to say more.

Those people were both rude, not you - how dare they! I used to get this a lot, nowadays I would say 'if my face offends you, don't look at it!'

NormasArse · 18/03/2026 14:54

The part that stuck out to me was, ‘No wonder the kid’s that way …’

Did he say that loud enough for your DD to hear??

Katemax82 · 18/03/2026 19:11

Having spent my entire life getting told to smile I wish it was legal to punch anyone who does this right in the balls (it's normally men)
No one says it to me now of course as I have an air about me that I don't give a shit but I'd love to tell someone to fuck off if they did

pinkksugarmouse · 18/03/2026 19:21

He sounds creepy.

I agree with your response it's a misogynistic comment and it's good advice to pass to your daughter.
As for that nosey woman. It was none of business.

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