Waiting for the right guy equals no baby

[Chiliconcarneplease]

I'm going full force with this - I hate how many people on here say about waiting for the right guy before having a baby (you had a baby in your situation???) Etc but between 30 to 40% of women are expected to end up childless (involuntarily) because they were searching for the right guy.

We have to accept women having babies in less than ideal situations, or we're fucked as a race.

Yes, I agree. What has gone wrong

There have always been women who "settle"....at least these days it's generally just for having children: 75 years ago unmarried women (working class ones, anyway) would never have left the parental home and would've just just done a menial job and taken on the care of their elderly parents.
Sometimes men don't meet the right woman either, and their chances of fatherhood are closed down too. Globally I don't think it's much of an issue, but remaining involuntarily single can definitely be a sadness on an individual level.

Maybe if rhinos had an arsenal of weapons and regularly engaged in land grabs when populations become aged and diminished, you'd have a point.

It's not really okay to have a child in a shit relationship, just because you want one. It's selfish, the child or children will be screwed up to satisfy the adult's wants.

Oh I'm not saying we are dying out at all, just saying that some recent scientists have claimed we are at risk of dying out just like they claimed the opposite fifty years ago and said we'd all be eating each other by the 1970s because of overpopulation. I agree it's horseshit 😂

This is true but it will be a temporary situation. At some point the population decline would stop and we would have a stable population.

Trying to keep population growth going just to avoid this scenario is just delaying the problem for future generations to deal with

@HotCrossBunplease who's looking after you in a care home then? Who's working to pay into your state pension? If your child has a child and goes back to work, who's looking after your grandchild in the nursery? Who's teaching that child in school? You can't be individualistic.

85% of singaporeans live in government subsidized housing. While some of it are expensive on the resale market (as you can sell it after living in it for 5 years and it can be sold for a high price if in a good location), there are affordable flats sold as new builds to first time buyers (mostly 3 bed), grants to first time buyers and mostly you don't need a deposit as you can use money from your compulsory savings funds (most singaporeans on ordinary incomes don't pay tax but are forced to save 20%).

Waiting time for these cheaper flats are long but something like 80% of millenials in singapore are homeowners now. Result is birthrate of 0.97. Childcare is cheap too only a few hundred dollars for government childcare and you can get a domestic helper for £600 a month full time. Singaporeans are convinced they need more to raise a family properly. Like private condo for example and car (the whole population practically lives within 0.5 miles of a metro station and public transport is like 80p to a quid!)

We can't overpopulate just in case we kill each other in war though can we.

Hopefully lots of lovely immigrants who have come to the UK for a better life.

Take South Korea, sharing a land border with North Korea. With an ever shrinking and aging population, fewer and fewer able bodied people to enforce stability, what's that going to look like in 100 years?

Why would they come here, over say, every other shrinking population struggling to keep their elderly afloat with ever increasing taxation?

What could be a real concern though is certain countries dying out (from the perspective of someone living in one of those countries) but the whole world dying out is not going to happen.

So we'd have to look at things differently and how to do things more efficiently. That's no bad thing.

I put YABU because having a baby with the wrong guy ruins both your life and that of your child. Your individual distaste of the concept of sperm donors aside, that is the most sensible option for women who desperately want a baby and haven't found the right man.

Yes, I agree sadly. I know women who've ended relationships to find the perfect father to their children. However, it hasn't been easy, and they've remained childless and are now postmenopausal.
I know a couple of women who have just settled because they want children more than anything else and to be honest they're OK. Yes, they have useless partners but their children seem to bring them fulfilment, so they just put up with it.
Don't get me wrong, I do understand how it can be miserable to have a completely shit partner. I used to have one.

Increasing the birth rate with each generation would lead to even more strain. It isn't sustainable.

Except innovators have always been young people, who we'll have increasingly few of in countries with good levels of education. And they'll be occupied by keeping the lights on, not solutions to global warming and keeping everyone going.

There will still be plenty of innovators and I know many innovators who aren't young either.

I don't think so.

We speak English.

Why aren't we doing that already? It's magical thinking to think our grandchildren, if we have any, won't be facing serious hardship.

"We'll just have to pull our socks up", you wouldn't cut someone's benefits and expect them to do manage more with less.

yes,, unfortunately.

I guess it depends on ones worldview. I met someone and fell in love, I wasn't looking for a husband or baby father. We have one child, we tried for a long time, but we'd been together for over 10 years when we started trying.

Don't forget there are almost 4000 kids waiting to be adopted in the UK, and around 13% of adopters are single.

Source: corambaaf.org.uk/resources/statistics/statistics-england