Waiting for the right guy equals no baby

[Chiliconcarneplease]

I'm going full force with this - I hate how many people on here say about waiting for the right guy before having a baby (you had a baby in your situation???) Etc but between 30 to 40% of women are expected to end up childless (involuntarily) because they were searching for the right guy.

We have to accept women having babies in less than ideal situations, or we're fucked as a race.

@Midlifecrisisxamillion this x 1000. You can't deny genetics, there are hundreds of twin studies which show the pull of genetics. It's much more than just upbringing.

A good friend of mine once said to me that it's often not recognised that women can be desparate for children and to be childless because they just haven't met anyone. She was 38 and had several long term past relationships. Happily at 39 she met the right one and had 3 babies very quickly.

How long do you wait though? It would be incredibly hard to become a lone parent by choice.

This - it’s so arrogant to assume a child born this way won’t feel the absence of a father - it’s not even the same as, say, a child whose father died before they were born as in that case they would still have pictures and their mother’s memories.

There's no guarantees for anything.....

Write MPs and Councillors to support and pass policies that encourage procreating for families who stay together and take care of their children. Eg lower taxes for working families with children, lower taxes or low council tax if living i the same borough as a parent over 70yrs old. Cheaper child care for working parents etc.
Instead of for example giving visas to a family of 6 for one care role. The state has to now pay for the education of those children, their healthcare etc and in 3yrs or so after they get their ILR they can go on benefits if not earning enough.

Um...what? If you have a baby with any guy you can get to knock you up, then you're likely to face at least 18 years of misery trying to co-parent with an idiot. You'll inevitably end up single and struggling whilst the guy involved swans off the live his best life.

Then you'll come onto Mumsnet 8 years later talking about how your mal-adapted eldest child is (not) coping with your new partner and pregnancy and be roundly torn to shreds and accused of being an awful human being and having a "mangled" family.

That's why I said 'potentially'

Or lower taxes for not having children because we are massively overpopulated.

Most men end up shit dads anyway. They’ve proven themselves unnecessary. Women should just seek a donor (not anonymous, children should have the right to know their background) and be single mums if they can’t find anyone decent, they and their children will be better off.

It's incredibly selfish to have children with someone you know will be a shit father.

Women shouldn't settle or have low standards just because they want a baby.

Is anyone considering the child in all this?

Anyone?

Again, where is the thoughts towards the children?

I have to say I hate how so many conversations regarding bay making these days never ever seem to centre the child.

Everything that I've seen written on the subject demonstrates better outcomes on every single metric for children living in a two parent household. Obviously that won't be universally true for everyone and only harm can come from living in a home with abuse - but the observation stands at a population level. It's certainly not true to say that fathers are universally irrelevant to the lives of children, this is demonstrably not true.

What does it matter to you?
You have your children so why are you bothered? You've done your bit for the human race as you like to put it. You can't go all handmaids tale to suggest women should have babies with anyone?

What is your rationale for increasing the birth rate? The planet is well populated at present and will remain so even with a decreasing birth rate.

between 30 to 40% of women are expected to end up childless (involuntarily) because they were searching for the right guy.

Where are you getting those stats from?

Firstly, the number of women who don't have children, for whatever reason, is lower than 40%.

Secondly, there are many reasons why women don't have children. Some do so out of choice, some don't. There's a bit more to it than 'searching for the right guy'.

Nothing happy or healthy about where we are going

Children from strong family units with both parents present have far better life chances

Less humans on this planet isn't a bad thing. If you haven't noticed were doing a canny bad job of looking after it

Excuse my incredibly dystopian viewpoint but in many ways I think it’s no bad thing for the human race to be thinned out a bit. In the very long term (beyond any of our living progeny’s lifetimes) it will benefit the planet and nature hugely. We’re being sent very strong signals that as a species we’re too populous, too greedy. Obviously it’ll be very difficult for those generations caught in the downsize but arguably I think nature/birth rate decline stripping humans back to a more manageable number globally is, actually, the key factor in the best interest of mankind in the long run.

Its very low in certain countries (South Korea Japan etc) and very high in some countries (mostly in central Africa) which could have an interesting affect on the future of the world culturally if you're interested in that kind of thing.

Overall though scientists catastrophiphised about high birth rates fifty years ago and now they seem to be catastrophising over low rates claiming the entire human race will die out etc.

Either way I wouldn't settle down with a complete wastrel of a man just for the sake of having his baby you have no idea the stress that tying yourself to certain men for 18 years can cause.
Nothing wrong with settling for Mr not perfect but a good guy/dad though

Bonkers. I did not look for a partner so I could have a child, I looked for a partner because I wanted a partner. Once we had each other we decided that having a child would be a nice thing to do together. I couldn’t give a toss about the impact on the British economy.

The planet population is approx 8 billion. We're in no way at risk of dying out 😂. Of there were 8 billion rhinos left would scientists worry about their extinction? If some countries start to look low they can consider alternatives such as migration or incentives but quite frankly we need to start to look at it as one planet or at the very least continent by continent.

This documentary on YouTube sums it all up rather well, less than 5mins and worth a watch.

It won't be nice for people to live in a world where there are not enough younger people to sustain the majority older population. Think of the strain on services now, then imagine it FAR worse. People will be encouraged to work until they choose to assisted sunset themselves.