To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

[Youngishh]

Currently going through a divorce and it’s got me thinking about things that people go through in life. Although I am struggling with it, the hardest things I have ever been through was an abortion. I have still never got over it tbh.

I'm sat here sobbing uncontrollably for you. I'm sorry this happened to you and the pain you feel every day. You are one amazing Mum to get up every day for your other child xx

Losing my beautiful brother to suicide. It’s something that I will never get over and although I’ve had pain and trauma in my life before it all pales in comparison to the absolute heartbreak I feel now. I function now and live my life but I will never be the same person I was before.

My mum's battle with mental health issues. She's attempted suicide many times and I'm mostly the one that finds her. When I was younger I had my family around but over the years they all moved away and so now I deal with it mostly on my own. I feel quite lonely. When she's well she's great but when ill it's v hard. No-one else sees her ill side as much as I do as you don't in a short conversation etc. It's so sad to see someone become not themselves so often. Selfishly it.takes a lot of my life with it as she relies on me so much. But I couldn't not help etc.

Watching the closest loved ones slowly dying and not being able to do anything. Every other trauma has faded into insignificance. Xx

Parenting my 17 yo DD through her mental illness for the past five years. First sectioned at 13, multiple suicide attempts(including vehicles, trains, bridges and OD’s), huge psychotic episodes where she is extremely violent towards everybody, multiple times where she refuses food and drink for days and has to have an NG forced under restraint. I think the worst time was when I lost my mum very suddenly to cancer, and four days later DD took a huge overdose. I thought I was going to lose both of them within a week.
She has been sectioned 8 times in 4 years, with her longest stay in hospital over 12 months. The furthest stay was over 300 miles from home. Life is extremely hard for her, and I’ve forgotten what my life looked like before this happened to her. She is currently still in a psychiatric ward, and hasn’t attended school since she left primary.

@Newname71 Oh no. How long ago was this and how is your son now? Mine didn't actually try to take his life but I can remember him saying "I wish I had never been born" and wanting to not be here. My son does seem to be ok now.

My daughter being stillborn. It completely broke me.

We had a shocking few years.
Dec 19 MIL admitted to hospital with abdominal pain, diagnosed with cancer, died 4 days later.
March 20 DF diagnosed with cancer.
Dec 20 nearly lost DM to sepsis (she also has leukaemia.)
Feb 21 (4 years tomorrow) DF passed away
Nov 21 Oldest sons best friend took his own life
Nov 22 (a year to the day) youngest son’s friend took his own life.
Following this youngest son’s mental health plummeted to the point of suicide threats and desperate visits to CAMHS and A&E begging for help. I had to take him out of high school due to his extreme anxiety. He never went back.
The worst part of all of it was the fear of losing my son. All loss is devastating but I think the loss of a child must be the worst thing that can happen to anyone.

I've a few. My dad having two heart attacks at 50 and 61 and almost dieing with the second. Going through a divorce. But I think the worst was my then 6 year old son having a brain tumour 3 months after I had remarried. Thankfully he's an adult now and doing well. But I'm a complete hypochondriac ever since.

My dad had died at 54 and then years later my mum was killed in a car accident at 69. Her new partner was driving and at fault. He also killed another woman.

@CrowsInMyGarden
About 2 years ago.
Following a catalogue (see my newest post) of bereavements and nearly losing my mum he fell apart. He was too anxious to go to school, cut himself off from all his friends and took to leaving the house at all hours of the night to walk in peace.
It was a terrifying time for us.
He's in a much better place now but still has to be handled with kid gloves. He has ADHD and doesn’t deal with his emotions very well. He gets low every November (his friend took his own life) and we have to keep a close eye on him then.
I’m glad to hear your son’s doing better 😊

@oneweecraw wishing you a successful birth and much love with your baby boy x

Going through a major mental health episode at the age of 16. It was terrifying. They weren’t able to find any appropriate inpatient care for me, which I ended up being thankful for, as it meant I didn’t have to look back on it as a memory when I recovered.

A miscarriage and a hemorrhage.

Watching my husband die, slipping like sand through my fingers. Seeing him actually die in my arms. He was and still is the love of my life.

Definitely my divorce. I feel your pain op. It’s absolutely horrendous and I underestimated how hard it would be

It's a heartbreaking and very sober read -

These stories are truly devastating and I hope by sharing you feel less isolated.

What I am currently going through right now feels as hard as it gets. I have had an uneventful virtually trauma free life until recently, when 3 years ago my Dad died from an accident and never recovered.

Now my mum has been diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. It has spread and she will not receive anymore treatment. Her decline in the last couple of weeks is shocking and sad and I don't think she has long left. I have been staying with her and catch glimpses of her with her head in her hands, it's heartbreaking. She's a retired nurse so knows how it goes.

I am 3 months into a new city job and feeling that I am not giving it my all. My mum lives 3.5 hours away so juggling this and my new job is draining. Thankfully my children are teenagers so reasonably self sufficient. I don't know how I would have coped if they were younger and needed more from me.

Moving to a foreign country with my long term boyfriend and him cheating on me with a married woman within a couple of months of arriving. His idea to move, not mine. Being utterly alone with my family and friends and all I knew and loved on the other side of the world. The worst night was just before leaving there and staying alone in an empty house and sleeping on the floor before flying out the next day because I didn’t want to leave my pets alone and stay in a hotel. The ex wouldn’t look after “our” beloved pets even for a night.

I kick myself now for not booking a hotel room and sneaking them in! But I’d say that night was my rock bottom. I have learnt a lot from the experience and would handle it differently now.

❤️ for those mums who have lost babies, truly heartbreaking and I send all my love to you

My parents visited my fist baby and I hugged them goodbye they walked around the corner and were killed , if I hadnt faffed around they would have left a bit earlier and would have lived

brother then was horribly abusive during the next few years we dealt with court cases and estate

year later in hospital with son who we was very ill and then has had life long sen issues depression and anxiety

I am currently out of work

but I count myself very lucky in love otherwise healthy happy life

I’m so sorry. That puts things into perspective. I’m so sorry for your loss.

My son’s father beat me up and then went on to rape/ sexually assault other women - including 1 who died and 1 who killed herself. He went to jail and was released when my son was 18. At the same time, my Mum, Dad and Uncle all died within 5 weeks of each other. My son and his father made contact and my ex started my son on a life of drug abuse. My son is now living in a homeless unit, constantly shit faced on drugs

Telling my dad that his wife of 70 years had died - my mum - and then having to answer the phone to him again and again over the next 2 years (sometimes more than once a day) when he would ring to ask where she was and I would have to tell him all over again, Often I would be at work taking his call crying my eyes out in the corridor.

@pimplebum
Gosh that’s heartbreaking but you must not blame yourself x

Watching my MIL go through ovarian cancer, she was a very strong independent lady and to watch her slowly go through hell was heartbreaking. I've never got over it, in 2 days it will be 4 years since she passed and it's never gotten easier.