To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

[Youngishh]

Currently going through a divorce and it’s got me thinking about things that people go through in life. Although I am struggling with it, the hardest things I have ever been through was an abortion. I have still never got over it tbh.

Being told I was having a miscarriage the day before my wedding.

Then my husband leaving when our IVF twins were a year old because he "couldn't cope"

My little girl passed away suddenly in her cot in 1994, she was fifteen months old. Nothing before or since has been that traumatic or painful.

A few things really. Lost my son at birth, lost my dad 4 months ago. I'm seriously ill with no hope of getting better and due to this, we are losing our home.Currently going through court.
Have lost family members to suicide and quite a few other things. At the time, you think you'll never get through it, but from past experience you do. Life is shit

Husband has just been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Currently living the worst thing ever, as his mortality stares me in the face. He’s the best man ever.

Mine was a catalogue of things which when pooled was just shite:

Lost my beloved gran. Watched her die slowly and in agony.
Moved back home from abroad after 11 years
Family issues after gran's death
House I was living in sold from under me by family
More family tension
Struggle with bereavement
Had no friends

Life started to improve, and then the ONE person I trusted and confided in humiliated me in the very worst way she could have done in her capacity.

Losing gran knocked me sideways. And that broke me.

Having my head twisted by my ex until it went black and I couldn't breathe. He had screamed abuse at me for three hours before. This wasn't the first time.

We now face homelessness post divorce because he's squandered all the family money.

My mother died unexpectedly on the day my first child was born.

To those of you who have lost children - I am so sorry. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to keep going each day xx

Watching my three year old daughter have her first seizure (when I was 7 months pregnant) then the endless hospital appointments and procedures, all the time watching her illness progress until she had brain surgery 7 years later to stop seizures, then we did three months rehabilitation in hospital. She's 25 now and is absolutely amazing, so bright and happy but I look and wonder how we coped as a family.
But no matter what, we do find the strength from somewhere and I truly believe that..
Best wishes to everyone going through tough times, it won't be forever and you always have hope ❤️

Having a daughter with physical and learning disabilities. She is now an adult and life is just getting harder and harder. For me it IS forever , and I don’t know what to do . It will be forever for me. And then she got cancer so things just got worse.

Sorry Stinkeye. We're 2 years into our "journey" - my DH has stage 3b prostate cancer and is having hormone therapy. He's been through hell since his operation to remove his prostate. He talked to his therapist today about how he wants to stop treatment. I can't cope with that. I want him to fight but I have no clue what he's going through really. Our life has changed enormously as he was diagnosed at 52. Now retired through ill health and I am the main wage earner - 2 kids at uni and a mortgage to pay. I can't think about it too closely or I'll topple over.

His parents have also been diagnosed as having dementia with the MIL put under DOLS and then into a dementia care home very quickly. We had to move them whilst he was undergoing radiotherapy. I don't think I have ever felt so stressed in my whole life. The last couple of years have been an absolute shitshow.

When I was 14, my Gran took me aside one day and told me she'd found a lump and was scared. We were incredibly close - the rest of the family were either drug users, violent alcoholics or both.
She asked me not to tell anyone, and stupidly I did as she asked.

Finding out later on that she had stage 4 breast cancer was awful, but watching her slowly deteriorate and end up dying 2 years later in a hospice was something I've never been able to recover from.

I'm 34 now and still cry when I hear her favourite songs that we used to dance to. I've always said that grief is an awful thing to go through, but it's the guilt that hurts the most.

First child born 10 weeks premature, then diagnosed with a serious medical problem. Fortunately he recovered eventually and surgery was avoided.

Second child had severe Genetic issues (life limiting and would require immediate surgery at birth) and we were advised to terminate the pregnancy. DH going through major surgery at the time and so we did terminate.

Third pregnancy fine but child was diagnosed with a serious medical condition at the age of 3.

Still a strong family unit but the stresses have taken their toll. Eldest now 30. I count my blessings every day.

So sorry to hear that, it must have been awful xx

I had a fairly turbulent childhood, brought up by a single mum who was chronically depressed and looking back on things now I can see how neglected we were. Even basic things like teaching us personal hygiene did not happen so I went through years of bullying due to being dirty and smelly, having untreated head lice on top of being too poor to have nice clothes or keep up with trends.
At the age of 5, I met my father for the first time who tried to brainwash me against my mum. Over a period of four years, he groomed me until he eventually progressed to sexual assault which I testified against him in court for. He got off scot-free due to “poor mental health” which left me feeling pretty angry with the world. For a long time afterwards, my brothers hated me as they didn’t really understand why contact was stopped and thought I had “taken their dad away”. For a long time I thought that was the worst thing I’d ever go through. In fact, that is the thought process that stopped me from continuing down a path of self destruction in my teen years (drink, drugs and Self-harm). At a particularly low point, I levelled with myself that everyone has a big life event to get though and if just had mine early on. This, at the time, helped me to view the world more positively and with more hope than before.
Then, my first child was still-born at 34 weeks and it completely broke me. I quickly realised that there is no rhyme or reason to life and no end of challenges to get through. Losing my daughter is still the hardest thing I’ve gone through. Although life is difficult, and things happen which are outside of our control, I try my best to be positive. It doesn’t help to dwell on negative experiences, so I try and focus on all the good things in life instead.

We were preparing my 11 year old daughter for more freedom and introducing her to travelling by bus to her new school. She was going to a friends house after school. It was before mobile phones, so she parted company from her friends and came home to tell me her plans. She then started the short journey to her friends house alone. She was attacked and sexually assaulted by a stranger who had followed her from school. I still feel guilty about it to this day. But my daughter recovered and has a successful, independent life.

Hearing my 8 month old grandson being declared dead. The echos of mine and my daughters screams. SIDS took him from us.

I lost both of them that night, nearly 2 years later my daughter is a shadow of her former self and it scares me that one day she will decided life without him is no longer worth living.

@creamsnugjumper - my daughter has been through this. Made me see healthcare with a very different perspective. The dismissive, patronising attitudes she had to deal with were breathtaking.

My amazing 12 year old boy was hit by a drug driver in June 2023 who drove through a red light whilst my son riding his bike across the road. We lived 2 minutes away so when his friends knocked the door shouting he had been hit by a car. I went running down the road. He passed away in the middle of the road whilst I was holding his hand. I was 35 weeks pregnant with my second son. Life hasn't been the same for me since and I just have no idea where I go from here

There are a couple of times that spring to mind.
One was where my partner left me, my 5 year old was diagnosed with autism and my grandmother that raised me died all within the space of weeks. I still don't know how I got through that time. It was a hundred hard emotions all condensed into a small time.

The other was going through a pregnancy where I thought I would die. Every moment of it was an ordeal and I have a lot of lasting health effects from it. Hyperemesis gravidarum with emetophobia. Every joint hurt, diabetes, carpal tunnel, heart issues, bleeding, honestly every symptom I pretty much had. I nearly lost the child in delivery too which was traumatic. I never want to go through anything like that again.

Sorry your going through this .
Your feelings will ease in time , I lost my daughter just before her 5th birthday she had just gone through a kidney transplant and it failed due to a blood clot .
It happened 25 years ago but it has shaped my life my thoughts my feelings you at life through a different lens.

I just can't even imagine the pain... hearing of him being run over, cradling him as he became an angel and then having to get through every day without him. I don't know you but I'm sobbing for you... from one Mum to another 💔💔

Look

these stories are heartbreaking prostate cancer and watching my dad lose his mind and dementia and watching my mum go through it for two years and at the end of the two years be unable to speak walk talk or eat was truly horrific
Though nothing for me is worst than my 4 year old daughter being seriously ill after a vaccination with encephalitis and being told she wouldn't recover fortunately she did but you are never the same person and those six months were the worst.
Time is a healer to a point this was24 years ago though
The things people go through is truly heartbreaking

@mumto42005 your reply has bought tears to my eyes ❤️ most days i dont even know how ive gotten this far without him. thank you so much for replying x

This is mine too!
Receiving goodbye message while I was at work and being woken by the police at 3:30 am to be told our son was at the train station.
It was the hardest year ever, I hardly slept.