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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you’ve got in mind what a typical mumsnetter looks like ?

133 replies

Devilgate · 01/02/2025 21:25

I have

female
middle aged
grey hair
tall for a woman - around 5 ft 7
bigger than average feet - Size 7

wears trousers and not a feminine look but wears good quality clothing

‘sensible’ personality

non smoker - no substance abuse problems that could affect appearance

OP posts:
Oblomov25 · 01/02/2025 23:32

No such thing. Very varied, because threads on height, weight, how attractive you are, the clothes you wear, vary a lot. Then, some posters post a picture of their hairstyle, eyebrows, dress. And I am always surprised! Always!

Oblomov25 · 01/02/2025 23:33

And when I went to the London meet-ups for the Christmas party's, donkeys years ago, we were all so different. So glam. We scrub up well!

lilytuckerpritchet · 01/02/2025 23:37

Business women, earns triple figures. Goes to the gym five times a week, juggles house 2 kids and useless dh who thinks himself to be god. Not many friends but a couple. Close to parents, hates mil.

FatAgain · 01/02/2025 23:41

Fat brunette with tats and a deepening hatred of the patriarchy.

I am possibly projecting.

Thegoatliesdownonbroadway · 01/02/2025 23:48

with a (possibly) dishonest cleaner

YourOwnPersonalCheeses · 01/02/2025 23:48

we don’t know what she looks like because no one ever sees her. She hides behind the sofa sobbing and shaking all day, traumatised that someone rang the doorbell without giving written notice six months in advance.

Claims to earn six figures in a Very Important Job with management responsibilities but needs to ask Mumsnet how to do everything from fire an employee to boil an egg.

Always has to show her “DH” the thread, because she’s incapable of forming her own opinions or making decisions, despite afore-mentioned Very Important Job, with 6-figure salary.

Has a 6ft 4 husband, a hollow-legged rugby-playing teen son who is also over 6 ft, and a beautiful, willowy artistic daughter. Her children eat 67 punnets of berries every three minutes but she still only spends £2.87 a month on groceries at Waitrose. Cooks everything from scratch. Never heard of Eastenders. Goes to France in drapey cashmere pashminas in business class when she gets time off from her Very Important Job with a 6-figure salary.

Has an Aga that she “curls up next too” with her monthly allowance of chocolate - one square of “high quality dark chocolate”. Can’t possibly bear the thought of gaining a single ounce because her husband might start watching porn.

Oh, and did I mention she has a Very Important Job with a 6-figure salary?

But can’t figure out how much wine to take on a 7-day holiday.

PizzaPunk · 02/02/2025 00:02

YourOwnPersonalCheeses · 01/02/2025 23:48

we don’t know what she looks like because no one ever sees her. She hides behind the sofa sobbing and shaking all day, traumatised that someone rang the doorbell without giving written notice six months in advance.

Claims to earn six figures in a Very Important Job with management responsibilities but needs to ask Mumsnet how to do everything from fire an employee to boil an egg.

Always has to show her “DH” the thread, because she’s incapable of forming her own opinions or making decisions, despite afore-mentioned Very Important Job, with 6-figure salary.

Has a 6ft 4 husband, a hollow-legged rugby-playing teen son who is also over 6 ft, and a beautiful, willowy artistic daughter. Her children eat 67 punnets of berries every three minutes but she still only spends £2.87 a month on groceries at Waitrose. Cooks everything from scratch. Never heard of Eastenders. Goes to France in drapey cashmere pashminas in business class when she gets time off from her Very Important Job with a 6-figure salary.

Has an Aga that she “curls up next too” with her monthly allowance of chocolate - one square of “high quality dark chocolate”. Can’t possibly bear the thought of gaining a single ounce because her husband might start watching porn.

Oh, and did I mention she has a Very Important Job with a 6-figure salary?

But can’t figure out how much wine to take on a 7-day holiday.

Edited

Honest to God, this cracked me up so much I read it twice, and it still made me laugh just as much the second time! 🤣👏👏👏

Crikeyalmighty · 02/02/2025 00:16

I envisage many in the 45 to 65 age group- mid height, a bit overweight but not enormous , mid length grown out bobs, professional jobs , but not 6 figures, married twice , like nice food, wine and a good book and holiday -politics varies depending on the subject . Lots of teachers, social workers, middle managers in commerce

Screamingabdabz · 02/02/2025 00:28

Boarding school educated, but now yummy mummy in some expensive part of London. Tilly and Sebastian go to private school, Hubs is a stockbroker.

He has a mistress but she’s in denial because she enthusiastically has sex every day at 5.30 before he goes to work. A gym honed size 8 to keep hubs happy. She doesn’t eat, but loves cooking and baking because it keeps her neuroses at bay.

They employ a cleaner, personal trainer, dog walker, part-time PA, tutor and gardener. Hubs is fucking 50% of them. She doesn’t know.

She votes labour because she feels sorry for poor people and immigrants. And to defy hubs who is a massive Tory.

Serenandnova · 02/02/2025 00:30

Cheap leggings &:fake nails, on phone a lot, shops at Dunelm

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 02/02/2025 01:07

When my DH and I are on the M5 we often stop at the Gloucester Farm Services as not only are their food choices usually good, but if the weather is nice we enjoy sitting out at the back where there is a lovely pond. I really enjoy seeing the blue dragon flies and the water birds, which usually consist of a duck family and some Coots. Anyway, I must stop waffling and get to the point!

While there (and usually only there), I will often - discretely - point out to my husband a woman who looks to me as if she is probably a Mumsnetter. They sometimes have a dog with them, they often appear to have a male partner with them, they occasionally have - well behaved - children with them, and on those occassions, the man who I presume to be 'Daddy' always seems to be just as involved with the children, or even more so, than 'Mummy' does. The women can be of any dress size, but not usually really skinny. I don't know what I base this on, but they always look intelligent to me, and as if they enjoy reading books, but without looking anything like Miss Moneypenny. 🤭 Their hair can be any colour, but not many of them look like they won't venture outdoors without having come straight from a hairstylist or having had a professional manicure. They won't be wearing an obvious designer outfit, but they won't usually look scruffy either. Remember, they are dressed for travelling, and not for going to an evening at the opera or ballet. 😁

Sorry for all my generalisations, but one of my favourite pastimes while having a coffee, or a lunchtime meal out, is people watching. I am well aware that I am probably wrong about 95% of the time, but @Devilgate did ask!

Whatisthisbs · 02/02/2025 01:16

Wears pearls. Clutches them a lot

LSTMS30555 · 02/02/2025 01:23

I'm 5ft & half an inch 🤣 with size 3 feet & long brown hair, 42 years old with 3 adult Dc (twins 24 & son 22) with a 5 month old granddaughter.
However have always worked and currently working in HE for decent money so can't complain.

Porridgewithoats · 02/02/2025 01:26

I imagine you all have perfect skin due to tretonin or whatever it's called and very muscular, slim physiques due to the frankly bizarre amounts of free time allegedly spent running, weightlifting, going to gym classes and yoga.

LSTMS30555 · 02/02/2025 01:26

Should have added that I smoke but not to fussed about alcohol.

Oneflewovermycarsbed · 02/02/2025 01:34

I am intelligent,mortgage paid off , over 50 ,absolutely love a cigarette,successful children and retired.

Oneflewovermycarsbed · 02/02/2025 01:35

LSTMS30555 · 02/02/2025 01:26

Should have added that I smoke but not to fussed about alcohol.

I have admitted to smoking as well 😂

Kilroywashere · 02/02/2025 01:43

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 02/02/2025 01:07

When my DH and I are on the M5 we often stop at the Gloucester Farm Services as not only are their food choices usually good, but if the weather is nice we enjoy sitting out at the back where there is a lovely pond. I really enjoy seeing the blue dragon flies and the water birds, which usually consist of a duck family and some Coots. Anyway, I must stop waffling and get to the point!

While there (and usually only there), I will often - discretely - point out to my husband a woman who looks to me as if she is probably a Mumsnetter. They sometimes have a dog with them, they often appear to have a male partner with them, they occasionally have - well behaved - children with them, and on those occassions, the man who I presume to be 'Daddy' always seems to be just as involved with the children, or even more so, than 'Mummy' does. The women can be of any dress size, but not usually really skinny. I don't know what I base this on, but they always look intelligent to me, and as if they enjoy reading books, but without looking anything like Miss Moneypenny. 🤭 Their hair can be any colour, but not many of them look like they won't venture outdoors without having come straight from a hairstylist or having had a professional manicure. They won't be wearing an obvious designer outfit, but they won't usually look scruffy either. Remember, they are dressed for travelling, and not for going to an evening at the opera or ballet. 😁

Sorry for all my generalisations, but one of my favourite pastimes while having a coffee, or a lunchtime meal out, is people watching. I am well aware that I am probably wrong about 95% of the time, but @Devilgate did ask!

Heh - well you missed me, then. Love the service station (hate the prices) - we take our own sandwiches.

Shetlands · 02/02/2025 01:46

Alice is 35 and lives in Clapham with her selfish pig DH and her 3 EBF triplets: Zanzibar, Coquette and Fungus. Her MiL is an interfering cow who thinks Alice is a drip. Alice is going to stand up to her when she no longer needs the childcare.

Sarah can't remember how old she is or how many children she has because she hasn't slept a full night in 10 years. She might have a DP or a DH but whoever he is, he's useless. Sarah does something in an office during the hours she's not ferrying hordes of children around to nursery, to school, from school, to swimming, to piano, to football, to parties... When she finally sits down at night she drinks white wine and argues with people on the Internet.

Lisa is 50 and sick to death of everyone. Any minute now she's going tell her boss to shove his job up his arse. Lisa's 'hubby' whistles in the mornings and it drives her up the wall. Lisa spends her restless nights planning to LTB. Lisa is thinking of asking her GP about HRT.

MatLeave · 02/02/2025 01:59

I haven't posted before but comment on occasion. I find it difficult to visualise what a mumsnetter looks like. We have mums, daughters, granny's, dad's, papas, step parents, siblings and friends of all different ages and nationalities. I am however able to visualise some of the people who comment by how they comment ( I'm being judgmental). There are so many wonderful people on this forum who provide the posters with a wealth of knowledge and are able to help in whatever situation they are experiencing. However there are a few who seem to just belittle people.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 02/02/2025 02:06

Headingtowardsdivorce · 01/02/2025 21:49

I don't think there is a typical mumsnetter and I roll my eyes when someone starts talking about the women and men who post on here as though they're all the same and think the same.

Especially when you get posts from people from all walks of life who say what they are. Men and women.

Threads where people have said they're Chinese, Indian, Black, Japanese, Asian. Tall, obese, on Ozempic, have mobility issues, have a disability.
Have kids, no kids, grand kids, married, single, same sex relationships.
At Uni, unemployed, lawyers, doctors, magistrates, cleaners, on benefits etc.

That's what I see OP, a big mixed community of mostly different women.

coxesorangepippin · 02/02/2025 02:07

and her 3 EBF triplets: Zanzibar, Coquette and Fungus.

^

😂

Brilliant

Anotherparkingthread · 02/02/2025 02:09

Only buys natural fibre clothing, like wool, cotton, cashmere. Images they look like some kind of sophisticated arty type that goes to galleries, actually looks like some unkempt langenlook bag lady.

Has no sense of spontaneity or fun, but really really thinks they do. Cant unclench even in social settings where everybody else is letting their hair down, in fact particularly if other people are letting their hair down. "Fun" all has to be orchestrated and must come with as an itinerary, and days out and holidays have had the life planned out of them. If anybody suggests going off script the day is ruined… The kids are ungrateful. DH is a lazy prick who doesn't carry any "mental load".

Either massively overweight and struggling to diet, or very very slim, eats like a bird and is only 6stone. Nobody at all is a normal weight with healthy BMI. None of them. Somebody will chime in and tell you BMI is all lies anyway, particularly on their 7ft tall husband who is rugby player.

Obsessed with work, but not their own, other people's. Judges other women on how much mat leaves they took, being a stay at home mother, not working full time, not having a proper 'career'.

Has a cleaner just so they can tell other people they have a cleaner.

Pretends to love winter in a strange display of one upmanship to others (or maybe it is really warm under all the wool), claims to sleep with an open window at night even when it's -4 because they love fresh air and their house never gets particularly cold anyway.

DH and the entire marriage really has been a disappointment, it is of course entirely DH fault. Married a man she probably shouldn't have, from one of the following groups.

Married a simple man (built like a rugby player) who likes to go for a beer with the lads at the weekend, stag do's, makes rude jokes. Complains that she married a man who's habbits have (shock!) not changed at all since she married him.

Married a simple man (physique may vary) who likes crisps sandwiches and corny movies, and complains when he is not interested or perhaps even capable of holding intellectual conversations. Isn't a bad sod but cannot keep up with her, has no idea what's expected of him, guesses her moods as accurately as you would getting lottery numbers out of a crystal ball. Puts his foot in it a lot.

Married a smart man, initially found him to be a rare intellectual equal, endearing because he was shy, more aloof and moody than other men, she thought she could fix him. She realises 10 years of marriage and 2 kids later it was autism, and is now disappointed that he won't socialise with mil or go anywhere on holiday, he wants to stay home growing bacteria culture for his home made yoghurt.

All these men have a hobby that is too rare to disclose.

Hates it when DH gets to work from home as if he has the gall to sit in their house doing his job all day. Gets the ick from watching him stay in pjs or joggers all day long.

TheLymeTrew · 02/02/2025 02:14

Amanda from motherland

Bixaweet · 02/02/2025 02:22

In Motherland terms:

Think they're Liz
Believe deep down they're probably Julia
Secretly wish to be Amanda
Are actually Anne