Is this acceptable from school?

[Lilliea]

My son age 6 has some emerging needs. He struggles with focus, sensitive to sounds, sensitive to textures, needs to move all the time, lots of other things. He's being assessed for ADHD and autism. I've been having meetings witha school but its it's a lady who is pastoral care and our family support worker comes with. He's on a plan at school, the one that comes before an EHCP. The pastoral lady is great, said he could bring his ear defenders to school and also use his wobble cushion. I asked him if he used these but he was told he wasn't allowed, but it's being reported back to me that they are 'going well'. When the family support worker met with his teacher, she said they didn't use them because other children try and take them. This hasn't been fed back to me and I thought they were being used. The sendco has been invited to many meetings but she's never there. I've never met her other than at school gates.

Just not sure what to do. He asks for his ear defenders but has to put them away if the other children start acting up 'because they also want them'. This is what teacher said to family support worker.

Not sure why I'm even posting. Could just use some support. Am I asking for too much? He has no behavioural issues. Just his focus and sensory sensitivities.

That's odd. Ear defenders are available for all children at our school. Not just sen.

My kids wobble cushion gets mucked around with - in some ways it makes their life harder but ultimately is too beneficial to stop using.

Where I work there are plenty of children that have different needs and those are adapted. Some children have fidgets, some have wobble cushions and some will have ear defenders. If a child wants one of these just because they are told that it is decided by the teacher and their grown up and that they can only have it if there has been a discussion about why.
The only rule we have about ear defenders is that they should not be used when it's carpet time as it should be quiet and they must be fully listening to the input.

I’m a teacher with a child of my own who used a wobble cushion at primary school.

His teacher told the class that everyone finds different thing tricky, and it was her job to find the magic solution. “X’s magic solution is a bit more time; Y’s magic solution is a wobble cushion; Z’s magic solution is a minute in the book corner etc” No one messed with or got jealous of anyone else’s magic solution.

As a teacher, it’s not an issue making reasonable adjustments - and physical aids like this are great, because they fix a barrier really simply.

They really do help. The ear defenders especially. We use them everywhere.

This is unacceptable, but exactly the reasoning my son's school used about his reasonable adjustments, everyone will want them.

Would they not allow a child to wear glasses because everyone will want them? Or allow a wheelchair because that looks fun for the other children and will distract the class? Or it's not fair the diabetic child is allowed a biscuit?

Unfortunately, with a sen child you have to fight for what they need. You will have to toughen up, you shouldn't have to but you will. The adjustments you are asking for are completely reasonable.

This. The teacher needs to step up and stop penalising your son just because they can't be arsed to control their class.

As a teacher I'm usually on the schools side but I don't think this is on. These are very standard adjustments in a classroom. If the teacher can't stop other children from taking them it sounds like they have some big issues with unmet needs. I'd push hard for a meeting with the SENCO. My only wonder is if perhaps the family support worker isn't communicating properly to other staff?

It's not much to ask is it? This thread has made me realise how bad it is. I'm going to email the school for a meeting on Monday but already know the teacher will probably try and change the story or say that he did something wrong that made them stop using the cushion/ear defenders. I've just lost all trust.

Oh to add they are already on his support plan, on paper, ticked off as in place. It's called an EHAP:

"The Early Help Assessment and Plan (EHAP) is the process and tool Ealing uses for professionals to supporting children and young people and their families, through the delivery of multi-agency, multi-disciplinary or targeted support. This is done as early as possible to tackle an emerging problem or issue before it becomes bigger, harder to address and affects the development or life chances of the child or children in the family.

The EHAP is only used when a multi-agency approach is necessary. Where one service can address the needs of the child successfully or if a family has social care involvement, an EHAP is not needed."

That's absolutely awful. I am a teacher and my daughter who is autistic uses her ear defenders in school. (V cool ones with princesses in them) It has meant she now accesses assemblies, concerts and other noisy activities. Her Special Needs Assistant also has her little sensory pack which has sunglasses, baseball cap, gloves and earmuffs.

3 children in my class have wobble cushions no problem at all.

Two major issues are not allowing him to access the support he needs and not communicating with you.

I'd seriously think about researching other schools. This one doesn't seem to even want to make basic sen adaptions.

If it makes the other children behave beady, that is the teacher’s responsibility. Your son should not suffer without the aids he needs for his learning because the teacher can’t manage her class.

The OP should not need to do this. It should be possible for the school to ensure that adaptations are made.

To your last paragraph... well, tough titties.

Or in school language, fair isn't equal, fair is when everyone gets what they need. Suzie wears glasses, Jimmy gets insulin and jelly babies and Tommy gets ear defenders.

Hi op
my DD has a computer chair, laptop, wobble cushion, ear defenders, fidgets, and a blanket 🤣
the only thing that happens with the children is sometimes they refer to he as boss 🙈

the teacher can’t let the other kids dictate his need for things but wanting them to.

I agree about the schools. Some students needing things that others don't should be bread and butter for the teacher. Y1s are generally very accepting of differences.

Is it possible some of the times he doesn't use them is because he can't manage to get them (there are a few steps in actioning this successfully and it can be quite a challenge) or, eg, he has been told once or twice that this is the reason so he assumes he is not allowed them at other times?

Not trying to blame him, but sometimes the problem is not quite as black and white as it seems. We leap to one solution only to find it's more multifactorial and there need to be multiple solutions.

Grim behaviour from the school. I worked in a school with a special needs class and they had ear defenders etc, and they were allowed to use their ear defenders whenever and wherever they wanted, no issue. Ear defenders aren't a 'privilege' for children with special needs, they're a necessity! It's honestly completely irrelevant that other children are getting jealous - tough luck for them. If children are trying to take your child's ear defenders away, the solution is to discipline the kids who are harrassing your child, not to stop your son from wearing his ear defenders! Next meeting, say that you're writing everything down and will report their behaviour to the school board/some other kind of authority figure (sorry, I'm not sure which)

I'm a primary school teacher and your ds's teacher is giving ridiculous reasons for not giving your ds what he needs.

I don't think there's a single class in my school where there isn't one child who has some kind of aid eg wobble cushion, ear defenders, fiddle toy, chew, putty.

Sometimes other children want them too but you explain that it's meeting a need that the other child has and that they don't have. They understand that if they have great eyesight or perfect hearing, they can't have glasses or a hearing aid like another child in the class has.

If you relate it to something like that which children already understand, they generally stop nagging for the sensory support.

Preschool children can understand that certain things are just for other people, so it's pathetic that the teacher is using this as an excuse, but also weird that she is actively preventing him from using things that will help him access learning. You say your son thinks she hates him - I would normally be reassuring, but in this instance it does appear that a teacher is deliberately hindering an individual child for no benefit to anyone as it would be a matter of moments to put a stop to anyone else touching them.

My 2 year old knows she can't touch one brother's food but can share with the other - I am sure 5 and 6 year olds would get it quickly enough that it wouldn't be as disruptive to the class as it is to your son not to have them.

@User67556 yeah, maybe when every other child in the class has adhd / asd, it’s not really your fault that they can’t behave, just as it’s not the parent’s fault that they can’t behave.
That would be suggesting that these children could control it, would it not?
’The teacher sounds shit,’ really is an uneducated statement.

At my kid’s school they seem pretty good at explaining things as my girls have often said things like ‘Sam has a wobble cushion as it helps him concentrate’ or Chloe has Ear defenders as she didn’t like loud noises.
They never complain that they don’t need them as they understand that they don’t have those needs.
I do wonder if issues come when other children do have undiagnosed needs and don’t understand why their needs haven’t been noticed? Obviously that’s not your son’s fault though.

Octavia64 ·
" but headphones can lead to other kids asking questions (usually along the lines of that's not fair I want some)."

Ridiculous comment.

Sad but true.

You need to sleep with a copy of the SEND Code of Practice under your pillow.

I agree 100%! (Also a teacher) ⬆️