Is this acceptable from school?

[Lilliea]

My son age 6 has some emerging needs. He struggles with focus, sensitive to sounds, sensitive to textures, needs to move all the time, lots of other things. He's being assessed for ADHD and autism. I've been having meetings witha school but its it's a lady who is pastoral care and our family support worker comes with. He's on a plan at school, the one that comes before an EHCP. The pastoral lady is great, said he could bring his ear defenders to school and also use his wobble cushion. I asked him if he used these but he was told he wasn't allowed, but it's being reported back to me that they are 'going well'. When the family support worker met with his teacher, she said they didn't use them because other children try and take them. This hasn't been fed back to me and I thought they were being used. The sendco has been invited to many meetings but she's never there. I've never met her other than at school gates.

Just not sure what to do. He asks for his ear defenders but has to put them away if the other children start acting up 'because they also want them'. This is what teacher said to family support worker.

Not sure why I'm even posting. Could just use some support. Am I asking for too much? He has no behavioural issues. Just his focus and sensory sensitivities.

My granddaughter uses loop earplugs instead of ear defenders. They fit inside the ear and dampen background noise. She loves them - won't go anywhere without them.

Her school has been very reluctant to help with reasonable adjustments. Her two brothers also have additional needs. They refused to allow a sibling to start school because of his epilepsy because they said they couldn't meet his needs. But now that they have applied to be a SEN hub they are suddenly more accommodating.

I think the teacher is doing a pretty shit job tbh, how hard is it to say 'no timmy they're not your headphones and you can't have any.'
Not the same but similar concept, my DD has a special soap, every child knows they can't use it, share it, it's not theirs, likewise she has an special chart for marking off going to the toilet, she's in charge of putting the tabs up and down, nobody else can use it it's not theirs. This is 4 and 5 year olds and it's fine. I don't see why your child's adjustments should be that hard for them. I hope you get it sorted out.

Email the teacher and headteacher with your concerns. I work in education, if your child can't use equipment for his disability because "other children start acting up because they also want them" the teacher is monumentally rubbish and should not be teaching.

Cite their duty under the disability discrimination act to make reasonable accommodations.

If you don’t get anywhere with the SENCO or Head ask for contact details for the SEN Governor. They are responsible for ensuring that school complies with relevant legislation and the Equalities Act etc.
I’d also get in touch with the Parent Partnership Officer/ Service for your LA and let them know what has or rather has not been happening. They will support you in meetings with school or ring the Head to remind them of their obligations re SEN provision. Look on the Local Offer online for contact. Sounds like you will need their support moving forward.

As sen parent you pick your battles as there are lots of them. Yes school should accommodate but op needs to work out if this is one teacher or a whole school mentality. Whole school then she has an uphill battle of her children's needs being accommodated. Tbh being in a combative state with school tends to just lead to misery and parent stress.

I got the impression it was that one teacher combined with poor communication. If it's the whole school then perhaps she'd better move schools if possible.

Absolutely.