To wish I’d known how miserable it is parenting alone (not a single parent)

[iwishihadknownthis]

But a husband who is at work more then he isn’t; basically because of his work hours I am responsible for getting us up and out in the morning and I am responsible for getting them to bed in the evening.

I know I’m going to get a load of suggestions and that’s not what I’m about. I’m just so worn down with it.

Well, no, because there is another parent at home. I am getting confused here about what we’re actually discussing 😂 but many single parents can’t work or have to severely limit the type of work they do. This doesn’t apply to parents in two parent families - or shouldn’t, in practice it often does but only on the woman which is what I suspect we’re both expressing shouldn’t happen.

@RhaenysRocks i will sound like an arse here but I don’t need someone finger wagging at me about how to live my life better than me. Bloody hell some teachers are insufferable, and I am a teacher! 😂

My point is that it's not really acceptable in this day and age to say "oh I can't do any parenting for my kids because of work, you know, but that's fine". And tbh I don't really know many working mothers who take this approach - even the ones with supportive partners and full-on jobs are involved in family life and carve out time to parent their children. Even if it means working in the evening after bedtime.

Well yes - but it’s still miserable doing every bedtime alone and that was the gripe of my post. It can’t change without huge, enormous changes which would result in things being stressful in other ways but a mown is therapeutic!

Sorry if I came across like that, I didn't mean too. I'll leave you to your moan.

I don't understand what's wrong with saying some bits of life are hard, yes, it's harder for single mums with no family network on their own all the time but overall, it's a tough stretch of life, it's hard in many respects, and these days we all have insta to show us how we're failing ti make those golden memories 24/7.

It does help to have other people acknowledge that they weren't all Mary Poppins with two under 5s and work.

And I agree @Goldbar most men do understand these days that time spent builds their relationship with their children. Most of them...

How many of them could come home, do bedtime and bath time, and then log in later?

It might be more tiring, they might prefer to have dinner in a peaceful office and miss the grumpy, whiny kids, but I bet a fair few could get home if they really had to, at least a few days a week, even if they then had to work later.

my ex and I had a child together who is now in there 20’s
every single parenting decision was on me , I did everything, apart from the odd school run ,
I dealt alone with the awful bullying she had at school, and getting a dyslexia diagnosis and help in place , medical stuff and on it went
I wish I had realised when she was 4 and he was cajoled by Me into learning to play !playing cricket ( his grand plan)with her when she couldn’t hit the ball he was furious and actually hit the ball at her several times. This went on for her whole childhood.
in various forms ,just didn’t realise it was happening, his fury at her being no good at sports so difficult to manage. I was trying to build her up while he was just disappointed and cruel..
needless to say he was a narcissist who had no capacity for love in any form.
thankfully I woke up ,and kicked him out .
my amazing daughter although damaged by his weird behaviour and mind games
got 12 GCSE’s and 3 Alevels and although she’s been extremely damaged by having a father who was manipulative coerce angry etc
after all the battles I fought alone ,( it’s been the hardest journey) I was so
completely moved by a letter she wrote me this week.
” Mum I realise now what a warrior you are “
how you raised me and loved me put me first etc etc
she ended it with , I am and always will be eternally grateful.

Everyone think this but it’s all about changing your mindset! So many people are ‘married single mothers’ or living with partners who really don’t pick up the slack when it comes to childcare/ household duties. Think of it as one less adult to bump heads with. Live life travel make pre school friends, soft play, extended family with your child alone. It can be done