Inheritance issue

[MountainMomma26]

My DH and I have 3 kids 2 boys and a girl aged under 11

We own a farm- 50% is in my name. This was done at the purchase mainly to save money.

DH also expects to inherit land from his elderly father. Please don’t think this is a situation where we are being greedy - rubbing our hands waiting for someone to pass away. This has never been discussed before and only arose today as we had a meeting with our accountant to finalise this years accounts and my husband wanted to discuss the new tax regulations coming in regarding farmers and inheritance.

Neither of us have made wills. During the course of the conversation DH discussed with the accountant how he would be making his will leaving everything to our sons. I had assumed if he was to pass before me I would be his benefactor and he would be mine if I go first and then upon either of our deaths it would pass to our children. This is what my father had done.

AIBU to be a bit annoyed by this it feels like DH doesn’t trust me/is putting me in a vulnerable position where my child would own the house annd property I live in? I feel this is dangerous as my children are lovely but unfortunately no one knows what way they’ll turn out - we have young extended family members with serious mental or addiction issues so he should know now that this is always a possibility.. I’m also pissed off that my daughter was not mentioned in the conversation. She is her dad’s right hand person. They’re very close. She loves animals and is a hard worker yet she doesn’t seem to come into consideration.

AIBU to be annoyed?

Really weird that a) he wouldn’t want to pass everything to you which you’re entitled to, need, and will save all tax issues. b) he thinks his children’s futures should be determined by their sex — about which they can do nothing — and not their being his children or their individual skills or needs.

I can’t imagine how he can tell you your home and finances are not your business!! What kind of partnership is that?

If its50% yours leave your half to your dd or 50% to your dd and 25% each to your boys.

That’s strange as the £1m being passed to a spouse if unused is part of the government’s calculation that there would be a total relief if £3m if the first spouse to die didn’t use their tax allowance.
I work in farm accounts but always happy to be corrected.

Have a look at the government guidance on new APR rules. On the government website. APR is a relief on an asset, not a personal NRB. It is not transferable (which is stated on the website). So theoretically a married couple could leave (under) £3million (Rachel forgot about the tapering of the RNRB which you lose completely if the gross estate of a married couple is £2,700,000) but they would each have to own at least £1million of "APR asset" each and give their own allowance away on first death.

It is the death of the family farm. Trusts or giving farms away during lifetime will be the solution. Which opens up another can of worms...

Anyway that's why I think the OP's husband is doing what he's doing (apart from leaving the daughter out).

What seems particularly odd/concerning is that he is not explaining anything about his actions to his wife. If they need to make “first death” decisions, those need to include her because if she dies first the husband (if they’re still married then) will be impacted by her leaving her share to her daughter (or all three children if she does that).

In your situation, I would immediately placed my 50% of the farm share into my daughter’s name and my will, and then I would seriously think about staying married to this guy

Depends on the value of the farm. There might be an immediate tax bill. Better both of them get legal advice together rather than do anything suggested on here.

So he is leaving his 50% between your sons… so you need to write a thorough Will explaining that because your husbands intention is to leave quarter of the farm to both boys and exclude the daughter, your will, will be equalising that…. You have 50% in your name so you write that 50% of your share is ear marked for your daughter giving her a quarter of the farm…. Then the remaining 50% of your share (25% total value of farm) is divided into thirds and each child then receives a third each…. So your children will then each get a quarter,
plus a third of a quarter …. Tell yourDH that thanks for effectively making you homeless on his death and that you will be writing the same into your will and excluding him and not making provisions for his old age 😂

How is that fair? It’s not the sons fault the father is a douche!
so by your suggestion if the farm is worth a million pounds, the sons will get £250,000 each and the daughter £500,000 to herself!
Bery unfair on the boys!

The boys will through their dad also get half each of the grandparents property that the op says is coming to her dh. With a dad like that honestly she’s probably screwed if she doesn’t own half, if they are anything like him the boys would decide what they want to do and steamroll a minority owner who’s just a woman. I’d leave her 50%, maybe if my husband/ ex husband decided his daughter was a real person after all we could revisit.

Leave your share of the farm to your daughter OP. Your husband is in the wrong here

Are you new to farming?

It's pretty common to leave the farm to (traditionally) the son who wants to take it on and the girl is given another property to inherit (from grandmother etc).