Blusher drama

[EndlessTreadmill]

I have 2DD aged 11 and 9.
The 11 year old, like many girls her age is into the whole skincare thing (no judgement please, I don't encourage it but do let her have a few products). She used some of her pocket money to buy a Pixi blusher thing (£20 I think) . It comes in a stick like a deodorant and you turn the bottom to make it come out of the top, like a lipsick basically. It was a prized possession, and she has had it about 2-3 weeks.
Then this weekend the girls were together in DD11 's bedroom, DD11 went to take a shower and DD9 used the blusher. Unfortunately, she must have used it a little bit less carefully than DD11, and when DD11 went to use it, she saw some slight sort of creases in the top of the product, and a few small smudges on the side of it and she now says it is 'bumpy' and uneven and terrible to use.

Now honestly the 'damage' is very very minor, I wouldn't even have noticed it, the product is still almost new, probably looks like it would for most people who used it normally for a couple of months. However, DD11 is completely hysterical about it, and just cannot get over it.
DD9 is upset, and has promised never to touch her sister's things again, b is a good girl and kind to her sister (who bosses her about), and definitely did not trash the blusher - curiosity got the better of her and she just tried it once. So there is no point in punishing her etc, it won't make the blusher like new again.

Part of me is telling her to just get a grip. I have also said I will buy her another one when this one is finished, but she needs to finish it as it's just a complete waste to not use an expensive product which is virtually new and totally usable (neither I nor DD9 wear blusher!).

On the other hand, she says it was her treat, bought with her own money, and now she has no pleasure in using it etc. And that it will take about 5 years to use up, so the offer to replace when it's used is pointless, she is just going to stop using it.

I can't work out if I am pandering to a spoilt child by replacing it, or if this is the sort of incident which she will still be using as an example of childhood unfairness in 20 years time.

YABU replace the blusher now
YANBU tell her to get a grip and suck it up

Me too. My Mum used to get me Amway, which wasn't cheap in England at the time.

I think it was ponds and clearsil when I started getting hormonally spotty but that stripped a layer of skin off 😂

It isn’t really comparable this way. Imagine saving up for a new car, finally getting it and then someone taking it for a ride without permission and scratching it. Agreed you wouldn’t buy a whole new one but you would expect them to face the consequence of driving it without your permission and to repair it to a position where the damage is not visible even though the scratch does not impede use of the car at all

I wonder if DD11 is hormonal because fuck me she's a drama llama. I just couldn't take her histrionics seriously

I completely agree with you.

If your dd had used a friend's make up without asking and "ruined" it, you'd replace it no question. Makes no difference that it's her sister.

When I was about 8 I got a glass bottle of roll on cosmetic glitter - what can I say it was the 80s! - it was beautiful, it was Boots No 7 and my Mum had found it in the sale, as a family we didn't have much money. It wasn't about "wearing make up" I just wanted this beautiful glass bottle of glitter. I didn't want any other presents, just that. On the second day of having it my younger sister was fiddling with it and dropped it under the dining room table, it hit the curved table leg and smashed open, ruined. I cried and cried and my Mum said she'd replace it but she never did. I still feel the injustice! 😉 Not massively obviously but I was sad for ages over it so I totally get where your dd is coming from.

There are going to be more and more dramas about things that are important to your girls but you think are silly. You need to overlook that point because you’re going to end up looking like the bad guy when you don’t fake some sympathy.

Are you a younger sister by any chance ? Dd2 waited until her sister went in the shower to use it rather than ask dd1 directly which is pretty sneaky. I ask about your birth order because your post is very biased to dd2 who screwed up.

Time to impose a no touching other people’s stuff rule now so that your girls don’t assume that you’ll always replace stuff when they fight.

Does dd2 have pocket money ? I’d be fining her a fraction of the cost and suggesting dd1 cuts a smooth surface with a knife or something. Promise her that you have her back and dd2 will be in much bigger trouble if there’s a next time.

I never said anything about being disappointed in OP or her daughter:
I made a comment near the beginning of the thread about it being sad that children don't seem to have long to actually behave as children. My second post was only in reply to the poster who asked what issue I had with children and makeup.
Do you always go through threads reprimanding posters who, in your opinion, haven't " contributed" anything to the thread?

Exactly this!

Except DD9 did do something wrong and her mother has decided that the girl she did it to is hysterical and spoiled for being upset about something she saved up for being spoiled for her.

So happy to only have boys. Young girls do not need skincare, they are being indoctrinated by influencers and marketing and indoctrinated to believe that their appearance is their most valued asset. That's why I offer science kits/stem toys to all little girls I know 😉

Do you also insist that all little girls spend their own pocket money which they have saved up for themselves on things you consider appropriate? Because otherwise that's not actually relevant to the thread.

I remember being about 9 and going and buying some appalling blue eyeshadow from the chemist at the bottom of the road. I loved that crappy blue eyeshadow though I didn't wear it anywhere except in the house and I kept it for a couple of years because nobody ruined it for me.

It's a mistake to make such a huge error of judgement that you call your daughter hysterical and bossy when your other daughter is the one who is unmistakably at fault, because such clear and undeniable favouritism will be remembered even if it's (unlikely though this is)

It's her possession, it doesn't matter at all if an adult thinks her possesion hasn't been ruined you have the power to fix this or to continue to show favouritism. Up to you.

Should have said even if it's a one off unlikely though this is, sorry for typo.

I was a young girl who needed skin care long before the internet exisited.

It's not always about being indoctrinated. Girls have been self conscious of their skin since time began.

I do actually. There are things that I don't let my boys buy with their pocket money (wanted to buy gems and "skins" in a videogame). My prerogative since they are under 18.

I have one of those and it's ridiculous to say that by being 'bumpy' it's no longer usable. Whilst I accept her sister shouldnt have touched her possessions I think she's scoring a few points here and you are buying into it.

My cousin had this , my own daughter had one too such fun we had I can still smell the lipsticks

Forget it's make up. That will say some with unconscious bias. Imagine it's a paint stick for crafting and she was keeping the edge smooth for sharp lines then it gets wobbled with out her permission. Then imagine that but it's for your face and it's been used on someone else's face. Would you share roll on deodorant??

Grim. Get the 9 year old to apologise and buy her a new one with her money. She'll learn a lesson then.

I see, so you tell random girls you are not related to, since you don't have any girls, what they can buy with their own money? Interesting. You should start a thread on that.

Would you want yours rubbed on someone else's face?

Dermatologists have gone out and spoken about this is the media : young girls are damaging their perfect skin with products that often contains allergens and chemicals that can contribute to getting cancer in the future). This is besides my feminist opinion about these kind of products in general for young girls.

What in the playground like sweets or something?? Psst.. come here, do you want some litmus paper?

Yes fair enough but SOME of us needed skin care for painful acne or really dry flaky patches that made people call us "dandruff face". And it hurt so the moisturiser helped stop our faces HURTING.

@VotingForYourself the face of a close family member? Wouldn't care less.