Differences between Brits and Americans

[Opull]

Dh and I moved to the US for his work post brexit.
I knew there would be differences but I would say that I have come to learn that those differences are far more pronounced than I had anticipated. And in ways I had never imagined or predicted. We moved to Connecticut. Its only as I have come back to the UK has it really got me thinking.

Im curious if you have experience of both cultures. And what less obvious things did you pick up on.

One that stands out for me is that in general discussions and debates are often shut down very quickly. Even over low stake issues. I remember pointing out something very obvious once and the people around me just started playing dumb. In the UK I would have no problem talking about middle aged women and how our sex lives become more comfortable and less exciting. The Americans kept trying to make out that this wasn’t necessarily the case for everyone. I guess it stems from Americans being quite optimistic and Brits being more on the cynical side. I just found it meant conversations and connections could never really go beyond a superficial level. I missed group bonding by sharing the less perfect aspects of our lives.

Has anyone else had similar less obvious observations?

I have lived there and spend a lot of time in the US and have close family living there

the more time I spend there the more I realise how different we are

all this is my opinion of course ….

firstly how self referential they are possibly more so on the west coast but to centre yourself in every conversation seems the norm. It’s a country of self first and that is evident in everyday conversations (that not to say they are not kind and friendly)

they are extremely upfront and do not recognise the subtle answers to awkward questions

we are very passive aggressive

they have no qualms in making demands

we find this akward and apologise

sarcasm isn’t a thing on the west coast

our use of language is often sarcastic or subtle hints

they answer directly we do not

humour is different

very friendly and have no qualms in asking questions we would see as being nosey but often just being nice

very quick to take offence/make complaints

we prefer to have a good moan after

conservative and have a real pride on tradition

the right to protect your property seems jas important to them as our feelings around the right to own property it’s very ingrained

I wouldn’t say they have superiority complex (I think that is more evident with English and French) but a deep held belief that America is the best of most powerful and that is how it is

I think the US has some thing of the best and the worse aspects of western societies

I'm sure they loved you!

Cauliflower cheese is, at least, a vegetable. I still find macaroni and cheese weird as a side dish because it's more carbs.

My private company I worked at gave us all tamiflu when there was a swine flu outbreak (to get us well and back to work faster). When dh then got flu I contracted my gp and he advised against it. It’s good if you’re vulnerable and have other conditions (and then it is provided on nhs) but if you’re healthy, the side effects can be worse than having the flu.

Are you saying American states are more different from one another than European countries?

I agree that those kind of loyalties around sports, including high school and college, is a huge difference, which is very tied in to tribal loyalties, and cuts across all sectors of income and education in ways you don't see in the UK. University sports and the amounts of money they bring in from alumni and donors, I think, are a real problem in the US.

CowboyJoanna · Today 17:03

I once went to California with DH. Horrible, horrible people. Loud, brash, superficial, put on a false air of happy friendly but not because they genuinely care but because it makes them look like good people. And also ignorant beyond belief.

That's a shame, I've been quite a few times, one of my aunts (now dead) lived in Marin County, North of San Francisco. I found people to be friendly and interested. I also worked for a company with a San Diego office and I liked them, in the main.

I didn't like LA, I have to say. The hairs on the back of my neck were permanently up.

In my humble experience - grew up in NY, went away for university, still Northeast, back for my law degree, lived and worked in NY before living in Paris for 6 years and then London ever since - yes.

Adding: and it depends which states. Massachusetts and Connecticut, no. Vermont and Alabama, yes.

That is absolutely ridiculous.

Depends on which countries and which states, some states are much more different then some neighbouring European countries

I may well be because they don't know you that well yet.
My US friends and I used to join/moan/bitch about all sorts, but that was after I'd known them well for a long time.
One wife being abused and the ranks closed around her and we got her out. Another one was helped to set stuff straight and stay because that's what she wanted.
Others not as close were friends but more superficial. I find people in UK I know seem to spill all quite soon after getting be friends.
I was in California, rural, lots of ranches, closer in distance to Nevada than to San Francisco.

Yes, I edited to add

Adding: and it depends which states. Massachusetts and Connecticut, no. Vermont and Alabama, yes.

So, @Dramatic, what's your experience that informs your opinion?

There’s massive differences across the states and the very conservative/christian Bible Belt compared to New York or Chicago are just so different I don’t think US v UK is nuanced enough. My family from Minnesota now live in Wisconsin and they are like the American version of us re outlook (cousin grew up in USA but did have an English mum who’d lived there 10 years before he was born). His wife is fully American though.

Other cousin is still in Minneapolis and married a marine. He’s all about his American right to bare arms. Very different character. None are Trump supporters thankfully.

If you took New York and Connecticut and compared them with Germany and France, Germany and France are much more different from each other. If you took New York and Texas and Germany and France then the difference would be closer, but New York and Texas still have more similarities than France and Germany. If you took Greece and Norway then that's a whole new level of difference and is in no way comparable to any two US states.

No of course all treatment is not decided by insurance agents. But the level of insurance you have informs what you are allowed to have. So if a particular treatment is not included in your plan you’re out of luck.
Yes cost is a factor in NHS treatment, I do think we all know that ( or I do anyway!) but in the U.S it’s really a case of you get what you have individually paid for. I have had a number of very expensive procedures on the NHS and I find that while basic medical care in the uk is generally sub standard and not good enough, when you are really sick they will throw everything at it.
When you have good insurance medical care is exceptional I agree.

It's a good idea when you visit another country to assume the laws might be different, then research the law and obey it.

Bluntly, did you expect the police to treat you differently from anyone else when you broke the law? Did you expect the 'busybody' to put up with people sleeping in a car when that is illegal, is associated with drug use, and can result at the very least in trash filled neighbourhoods, ? Did you expect a responsible camp counselor to stand idly by while his fellow counselors possibly became impaired and put the safety of the kids at risk?

Your post is a preposterous example of British exceptionalism.

I mean you could say that about the UK too, people from pit villages in Co Durham are worlds away from people in inner city London or the commuter villages in Surrey.

The thing that strikes me most is about gun law and how some Americans think that having more guns makes people safer, against the most horrifying evidence to the contrary.

These threads are always mad, so many people insistent on telling Americans what they're like and how they mispronounce words. "I went to California once and everyone there was horrible." 😂"You say Herb wrong." 😂
America has been independent for almost 250 years and has its own culture and version of English. The nerve!!
I don't personally know any religious Americans, maybe that's a midwestern thing. My American family is all lapsed Catholics. They're not rebellious so they may baptise their kids and marry in church but they don't spend a lot of time in church and it doesn't have much impact on their lives.
Ime they do tend to be personally louder and prefer to talk than to ask questions.
The healthcare system is better there in many ways but my family always had excellent insurance which is no longer the norm.
My dad's family were NRA supporters and we had guns all over the house but I've never seen an errant gun or shooting on the street, nor known anyone who came to mischief with one. Like most Americans I support gun control and haven't owned guns myself. It's more complex than Europeans understand.

In the healthcare discussion, it always somehow gets forgotten that you can have private heath insurance in the UK too.

That's what we have and I think it's the best of both worlds.

It is much much cheaper than the premiums and copays in the US that I paid and you get the best of the NHS too

I totally agree. That’s why sweeping statements about all Americans and all English aren’t really helpful imo.

Weirdly the first time I came across the name Imogen was in What Katy Did which is an American book. Although Katy's brother was called Dorry as far as I remember, never seen that name before or since.

I know quite a few Americans and they are not conservative but years ago one couldn't understand why we didn't have bins on the underground (this was prior to 9/11) and didn't understand terrorist threats.

I used to know two who constantly banged on about how great they were at everything they did. That got old.

I've been surprised at how they will be very open about asking for money for things that we wouldn't.

I think when I went to the US I thought the culture would be quite similar to the UK, but it’s not really, anywhere I went anyway. I came back to the UK with the realisation that for all our language differences and cultural differences that Europeans have more in common with each other than I thought.

I don’t agree about the humour/ sarcasm posts though. Some of the funniest people I have known have been American, and some of the best comedy writing is also American!

British person who moved to the southern US at 30 and is now 60. Vocabulary, for one. Fanny, suspenders, vest to name but 3 mean something quite different depending on which side of the Atlantic you are on. I also once complimented someone on her homely house, which turns out not to be very much synonymous with homey. I'm married to an American and we enjoy the differences between our languages.