Differences between Brits and Americans

[Opull]

Dh and I moved to the US for his work post brexit.
I knew there would be differences but I would say that I have come to learn that those differences are far more pronounced than I had anticipated. And in ways I had never imagined or predicted. We moved to Connecticut. Its only as I have come back to the UK has it really got me thinking.

Im curious if you have experience of both cultures. And what less obvious things did you pick up on.

One that stands out for me is that in general discussions and debates are often shut down very quickly. Even over low stake issues. I remember pointing out something very obvious once and the people around me just started playing dumb. In the UK I would have no problem talking about middle aged women and how our sex lives become more comfortable and less exciting. The Americans kept trying to make out that this wasn’t necessarily the case for everyone. I guess it stems from Americans being quite optimistic and Brits being more on the cynical side. I just found it meant conversations and connections could never really go beyond a superficial level. I missed group bonding by sharing the less perfect aspects of our lives.

Has anyone else had similar less obvious observations?

No, your points are that Americans are as different as different European countries. The pit villagers and inner city Londoners are still more alike than a Hungarian and someone from Ireland. You're trying to say that a Texan and a New Yorker are more different than anyone in Europe.

Agree with this. It is why they see discussions like this as anti American, when in reality British people are very harsh about their own country.

Um, well, pit villages, inner city London, Hungary, Ireland, Texas and New York are all made up of individuals. Having lived in two of those places and travelled to all but Hungary, I disagree with you. I, as someone from New York, have more in common with people from London and Paris than with 95% of the Texans I've met.

I'm sure you know better, however. Thank you ever so much for illuminating me about my own experience.

You're talking about 3 very big multicultural cities there. Maybe Texans would have more in common with people from rural Co Durham 🤷

That also includes the Irish, Italians, Greeks, Scot’s the English and all over the continent. Making generalizations is just like making assumptions. You don’t know these people. You’re putting people in a little box according to what you perceive they are like without knowing them. What a small world. I thought we’ve moved on from the 50s and 60s. I guess not.

Well yes, of course I'm making generalisations because that's the point of this whole post.

You'd have to pretty dense, or willfully ignorant, to not realise that my experience doesn't mean that every single American is the same. My experience is my own. I'm surprised this needs to be explained to you.

I actually think this thread has been rather good spirited! Save for a few nutty posts. Much nicer than the usual 'Americans are weird and wrong about everything' threads

Well that’s how it’s coming across. And being insulting. I’m sure you’re a pleasure to know. Pretty sure the chances are low. I hope.

I’ve actually found the Americans I’ve met huge oversharers. People sitting next to you on a plane and telling you their entire family story, leaving nothing out, really trauma dumping on you.

Or being incredibly open about their dating life - while meeting someone for the first time in a work context!!

I’ve had to separate American men in the office because their dick waving contest about who is the bestest actually escalated to punches.

Overall though… Such different cultures!! Especially recently it’s become so apparent how they have very different ideas, for example in gender roles, religion etc.

CandyCane457 · Today 17:48

I was really thrown at first thinking he was confused and thought he recognised me or knew me, then just realised he was friendly!!

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you don't live in the North of England, or Scotland!

Re language, it's macaroni and cheese in the USA an macaroni cheese in the UK, although it seems to be changing here. There's a "Mac 'n' Cheese" stall in the Grainger Market, (Newcastle) but ar £7.50 for a small tub, they can get to fuck!

I make a cheese sauce normally and grate cheese on top. I also add a fried onion, or leak.

I'm totally going to try the version with eggs.

I also moved to the US for husbands work pre-Brexit, and now we are back home in the U.K.

At first I found most people super friendly. Other Mums at the school and preschool were quick to invite us over for lunch or to hang out at the park. Once I started working myself though I found exactly what you describe. Everyone was friendly and polite but I couldn't get to know anyone as everything was very surface friendly and with no depth. I actually missed being able to have a moan and just be real with people. I found that any moaning was taking that you were deeply unhappy with something, whereas us Brits love a good moan about something. In the end I just found the vast majority of people to be shallow and that the initial friendliness is just politeness in a way us Brits don't have.

I was in the Pacific North West.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you don't live in the North of England, or Scotland!

I think this is a fair point. When I lived in the UK, I lived in Scotland. The random chatting with strangers that happens in the US, especially in the South, was often a feature of daily life in Scotland (especially in Glasgow, but even in Edinburgh). The culture shock was the first time I went south and discovered that this was not the norm in many parts of England.

I find that interesting because I first encountered the name Imogen as a child... in What Katy Did. An American book as far as I know! So i always assumed the name was used over there.

There were no kids on the camp. It was the week before they arrived. We were having a party to get to know each other and allowed 2 beers each (whoopy doo!) Even 2 beers when there were no children there was enough to outrage a young American. The OP asked for differences - you have a huge one right there. Nobody in their early 20s in the UK would flounce off because some other 19 year olds were drinking 2 beers. It just wouldn't happen. Nobody would bat an eyelid. Nonenof us were even slightly drunk but he was disgusted by it. There is a huge cultural difference in this respect.

Also the sleeping in a car thing: it didnt cross my mind that this would be a probelm. It's just odd.

No need to take it personally. OP asked for differences and I've given some examples of my experience.

I lived in Jersey City and worked in NY for five years in the first half of the 1980s. And I loved it. I genuinely liked most of the people I met, from high to low, because for the most part everyone tried to be pleasant. I knew all sorts of everyone, from teenage girls (not naice middle class ones) to senior executives on Wall Street. In retrospect, it was a massive crash course into DEI. My lasting friends, that I am still corresponding with, do tend to be well educated well travelled east coast denizens still living in the NE. They are solidly Democrat, but were generally very well paid in professional roles while they worked, and they understood the importance of saving into their 401K pension scheme ( a bit like a SIPP). I also knew, because I lived in a very blue collar building, that being the same to everyone mattered. My sister reminded me this weekend that the route to the local subway from my apartment took you past the local state prison, so it was sensible to walk where you were less visible to the inmates, unless you wanted a hail of catcalling. It was an okay place to live in general, but it was not Connecticut. It wasn't dangerous, but walking home alone after midnight, you would be alert.

Nobody in their early 20s in the UK would flounce off because some other 19 year olds were drinking 2 beers. It just wouldn't happen.

It wouldn't happen in the UK because it's not illegal in the UK. My guess is that the over 21-year-old might have departed the scene to prevent the possibility of being accused of providing alcohol to underage people or facilitating the consumption of alcohol by underage people. By remaining on the scene, they could potentially open themselves up to criminal liability, loss of job, etc.

I think there are some major differences that are surprising when you think about them.

For a country who is fairly new and who's people, or a lot of them, love history and tradition, they don't keep any old buildings because they are old. A lot of the legendary hotels, the sands, the international have been demolished in Vegas. I've been to Memphis twice and it's clear that the sun studios (where elvis, Johnny cash, Roy orbison, and others started) basically where rockabilly was invented, only survived by accident, being on a street which was yet to be developed. The pathing stones had the year they were made stamped on them, so you knew bb king, Martin Luther king etc had walked on them...they were there in 1989...gone 2004.

They are also ridiculously parochial, having little idea of world geography in 1989 I had to repeatedly explain where Bristol is. In 2004, despite watching a lot of tv and the news there, it was only 2 days later the Madrid bombings were mentioned.

But I think the huge difference is with work. The Americans have few public holidays (which is why they are so big in us tv and films) and very little time off work, only 2 weeks max. Therefore, they spend a lot of time at work and it's key to who a lot of them think they are.

😂😂🤣

Lived in TX for a number of years before moving back to the UK. I couldn’t stand the heat! I was keen to move back as the sheer size and flatness of TX always felt very alien to me. The neighbourhoods were massive. The people were warm, friendly, interesting and always willing to help. The standard of life was high, but the quality of food was not. SAHMs were respected in a way that I don’t think they are in Uk.
That said, if it had been somewhere with a milder climate we would have stayed. I love the American optimism and mindset and miss it a lot.
I really hope that the division that is occurring over the Ukrainian war etc….doesn’t cause a rift between the American and UK people, because I think that fundamentally, we like Americans and they like us 😊

They are also ridiculously parochial, having little idea of world geography in 1989 I had to repeatedly explain where Bristol is.

Is that really parochial, though, or is that a UK-centric view? How many Brits, off the top of their heads, would know where Bakersfield or Aurora is (similar population to Bristol)? And other than the university, what is there about Bristol that would make it noteworthy?

And, as I recall, CNN had pretty much nonstop coverage of the Madrid bombings.

Quite a few people in the United States have more than 2 weeks vacation a year. It depends very much on the type of employment, the position, and most important, length of time in the position. I know people who have as much as 6 weeks per year. People don't always take all of their vacation, however, especially if they are close to retirement or planning to leave the employer because often unused leave can be cashed out on separation.

The Americans have few public holidays (which is why they are so big in us tv and films) and very little time off work, only 2 weeks max

This "two weeks max" thing gets repeated a lot on Mumsnet and generally it's not true.

My son's first job out of University was for a mid-sized insurance company. He started out with two weeks paid vacation + 10 paid "personal" days to be used at his discretion. This is not including paid sick time. He would accrue more vacation days the longer he worked.

I believe there are 12 Federal holidays which would be comparable to bank holidays.

Entry level/minimum wage type jobs generally do not have generous vacation time. That is true.

They are also ridiculously parochial, having little idea of world geography in 1989 I had to repeatedly explain where Bristol is.

I don't think it's the Americans being parochial in this example :)

I'd say holiday allowances are lower in the US. In the US I get 12 days annual leave*, plus 10 'bank holidays', plus 2 discretionary days, so 24 days total, many of which are immovable. The amount of annual leave will go up over time, but very slowly. In the same industry in the UK I got 27 days annual leave, plus 8 bank holidays, plus 6 days when the university was closed, so 41 days total.

*I think this is the '2 weeks' people talk about