Blended family and wills

[Notsurewhatimdoing100]

So I married my husband a year ago, we have a 18 month old and my husband has two children. The eldest is turning 18 and lives with her mum full time. The second is 8 and lives with his mum (different mums) half the time and half with us.
my husband and I have been discussing wills, he owns a good business.
we have agreed that both his children also have their mums’ to inherit from when they die so therefore our current family home will be left to me which will then pass to our son and no other child.
my issue is that if something was to happen to my husband in the next few years, our son won’t have received the same level of support from him due to his age. My husband is proposing splitting his entire estate equally between the children and me, each getting 25%, initially I thought that was ok but on reflection I think our son should get a larger percentage. I know he will receive whatever he gets from me at some point but his other kids will also get that from their mums.
as a side note, my will states that anything I have goes to my husband then to our son and no-one else.
Am I being unreasonable?

Will his other two children inherit anything from their father? Or only their mothers? Will your child inherit from both mother and father?

I am the mother of my husband's second family. Quite a gap between the two families.

You cannot begin to quantify who had what percentage of your husband's time and money at what point. It is a fools errand that will end in tears.

The way your husband proposes splitting the assets seems reasonable. You will never achieve perfect equity.

You have no idea what the older children will inherit from their mother! What happens if she remarries, has another child and decides to arrange her Will in the same way as your husband? Or if she lives to old age and her entire assets are used up on care?

He should have life insurance to support the 8 year old and your 18 month old up to 18.

Christ but I feel sorry for kids whose dads bugger off into new relationships and Family Number 2 (and in this case Family Number 3) as it literally means they become a second class citizen with their own dad.

What makes your child so special that you think they should get a bigger slice? Doesn’t your child have a mum to inherit from too?

Do women who land these men with all these kids not think of these things before getting serious?

If you had older kids you would want it spilt out all evenly if someone happened to you. He had 2 other kids before you, they shouldn't be left out just because they're older.

I think it seems a bit mean that the older two wont get anything from their dad, just because they 'might' inherit from their mum! Who knows what she is going to do with her money. I think you should be going back to basics and doing it in a fairer way than that. My DH is my two elder DDs Step-dad. They will inherit from me equally with the DD that is ours, as that is fair. Anything their dad may or may not leave them has not even been consider, and neither should it be.

And if your DH, God forbid, moves on and has more children with another woman, you'd be happy for your DC to lose the bulk of the inheritance you think is due to them because your child will inherit from you?

I'm from a blended family and when my dad died, he didn't leave anything to his older children because he didn't take any of the share of the house whilst divorcing his ex wife - she got all of the equity and he carried on paying the mortgage up to a certain point, with the understanding it would be left to the children when the time comes. It was a bit risky but the house has gone up in value (London) significantly.

Unless your husband had a similar arrangement with his exes then I think it's entirely unreasonable.

I’d be more concerned with protecting your financial interests if the relationship breaks down.

Your husband splits his assets equally between all his kids. Yours goes to your kid/s

the children should be treated exactly the same, regardless of them having other parents to inherit from. It's not a consolation to know your mum might leave you a few ££££s when your dad treated you differently to his other children.

Your joint money should be split in half and he should leave his half to his children in equal amounts. Your half you do what you want with.

You are unreasonable for expecting anything more.

Jeez you are being very cold hearted thinking his children shouldn’t inherit from him.

He has three children who should all be treated equally.

He needs to split his estate between his 3 children. It is not the fault of any child that he keeps deciding to move on and play happy families with new people.

Yes you are being unreasonable.

The other children will inherit from their mothers. Your child will inherit from you. How is this different?

Also you can leave everything to your dh if you die first but you can't dictate who he then leaves it to. It doesn't work that way.

Your child will, I guess you are thinking, inherit the house from you? (Spoiler: you have no idea how your life or that of the other mums will turn out.)

What PP said re life assurance to cover his share of costs of bringing up his dependent children - there are two, you seem to have forgotten one - and his remaining estate then goes three ways.

So ultimately your son will end up with the house and 50% of everything else, and you think he should get more?

You are being incredibly selfish. Any parent should leave their estate equally to their children and the older ones shouldn’t have to wait or miss out because the chose to have a second family.

OP you are getting all wound up about something and not seeing the situation clearly.

You married a man who has children. His financial contribution to them thus far isn't something you can try to get equity in now.

What if your dh's business suddenly grew massively and you could afford to privately educate your child and go on multiple luxury holidays a year. What if his previous dc didn't get that. Do you think they should be able to claim more money from him now ti even things up.

You start from where you start from. He has 3dc he is committed to. He splits his share of assets equally. He gives some element of protection to you as his wife. You see already getting the whole house which will go to your dc. His other dc are seeing none of that and yet you still want more?

This @Notsurewhatimdoing100 ^

The children should be treated equally in the will. Your son's needs should be covered by life insurance.

So your DC won't inherit from you?

You've not done what you think you have. If you predecease your husband and you leave it all to him he can do whatever he pleases and may leave it all to baby mama #4 or just wife 4 if too old to have children. You need to create a trust and everything gets left to the trust with your all of the children being beneficiaries. You can assign certain percentages in your 'letter of wishes'. The ease with which he has disinherited his older children really should alarm you more. Creating a trust would mean the house would also be safe from care home fees. You really do also need to carry enough life insurance to pay to bring up your child.

I think you are being U.