Blended family and wills

[Notsurewhatimdoing100]

So I married my husband a year ago, we have a 18 month old and my husband has two children. The eldest is turning 18 and lives with her mum full time. The second is 8 and lives with his mum (different mums) half the time and half with us.
my husband and I have been discussing wills, he owns a good business.
we have agreed that both his children also have their mums’ to inherit from when they die so therefore our current family home will be left to me which will then pass to our son and no other child.
my issue is that if something was to happen to my husband in the next few years, our son won’t have received the same level of support from him due to his age. My husband is proposing splitting his entire estate equally between the children and me, each getting 25%, initially I thought that was ok but on reflection I think our son should get a larger percentage. I know he will receive whatever he gets from me at some point but his other kids will also get that from their mums.
as a side note, my will states that anything I have goes to my husband then to our son and no-one else.
Am I being unreasonable?

on reflection I think our son should get a larger percentage. I know he will receive whatever he gets from me at some point but his other kids will also get that from their mums.

Right... so why should any of them get more than the others? Since you've just said they're all in the same position re. potential inheritance from their mothers.

You are being VERY unreasonable.

His gets shared equally between all of his children.
Yours just goes to your child.

Each child gets the same from their father.
You leave what you have to your child.
Each child inherits from from their mother and father.

I don't understand your logic. Presumably, your ds will inherit from his own mother, as the other two children will inherit from their mothers. So it seems obvious that each child should inherit an equal share from their father's estate.

Fair enough for you to get a lifetime interest in the house, as it is your home and you're raising your child there, but upon your death, I would say that your half of the house should pass to your ds and your DH's share should be split 3 ways.

Have you considered that your dh seems to be in a pattern of ditching and replacing his kids every 8-10 years? That being the case, it would be better now to establish firmly that any assets he has are divided equally between all his children (there may be more to come).

The poor older kids... they absolutely should have a share of everything belonging to their father, what makes your son so special!? He has a mother that he will also inherit from.

Your husband splits his half between all three kids and you give all of your half to your kids.
So his kids would get 2/6 and your child would get 4/6s.

So his other 2 kids can naff off so long as yours is okay then?

All children should inherit equally.
if he’d stayed with the 18 year olds mum, she’d inherit 100% from him or 50/50 if you like from both parents.

But he then had a child with another woman so the eldest and middle then got 50% each from him.

then he married and had a child with you. So in theory they get 33% from him each. So you and them getting 25% is fair. But the oldest and middle could argue that youngest is actually going to get 50% from dad if you then leave all of your 25% untouched and to your son.

you can’t guarantee what the other mothers will leave their children just like you can’t guarantee what your son will get.

but I’d look again at your will because surely if you leave everything to your DH there is nothing to stop him then leaving everything to either all children equally or even to a 4th wife rather than your son.
Are you sure your will can stipulate what happens to your estate once you’re dead and it is officially your DHs? I’d be changing it to 50/50 with your son and DH with the understanding that 50% could end up not going to your son fully.

Seems awful that it isn’t an equal split between the children come what may!

All three of his children have two parents to inherit from, so there is no need to give one of his children preferential treatment.

The only way to keep this fair is if your dh leaves his estate split equally between his three children. You leave all yours to your child. His ex leaves all hers split between her dcs.

Then all children inherit fair portions from their respective parents. The only variance I would make is that he contributes equally to all his children's university fees if they choose to go.

As his current wife, he could leave you a life interest in the house, so you are protected and do not have to leave your home if he dies before you.

This. I can't believe he's already agreed to exclude his other two children from the inheritance of the home 😳

Yes there is their mum but what if she too has remarried, had another child, and decides they don't need to inherit from her because they can inherit from their dad...

You sound grabby and wanting everything for your shared child to the exclusion of his other children! They should not even be excluded from the house. If anything they should be given a larger share of the rest of his estate to reflect the fact they will never receive a share of the house

It's complicated. 2nd wife here too.
My DH and I brought similar assets to the marriage and have both inherited since from our respective parents dying.
I intend to ring fence the majority of my personal assets to our shared child.. Particularly if I died before him.
Our house is left to me - it's my home. And vice versa.
If DH predeceases me I have agreed that our joint assets are shared between all 3 children. He will do the same - minus the part already left to DD.
His older children already have a significant lump sum from maternal relatives and depending on what happens in the meantime should benefit financially when their mum passes (she's not old so they're in for a wait!)
So it's all mostly fair if not necessarily identical.

So basically you don't want your step-children to receive any inheritance from their dad?

You sound as horrible as my step-mum.

Are you kidding? As it stands your kid is quids in

when you die your child gets the house

when you die your child gets your 25% of your husbands estate plus the 25% they already inherited PLUS anything else you leave your child

So what are you bringing to the table financially - if you're assuming the other kids' mums will leave a generous amount of their own money to then, but your child's mum won't have anything to leave him anything?

If the sexes were reversed, I can imagine how this would play out.

Unfortunately, anybody who chooses to have children a long way apart will naturally have a lot more time to spend with the older one(s) - and more need/opportunity to spend money on them than the much younger one(s). That's just physics.

I'm one of two with a 'normal' age gap, from a non-blended family; but my DSis had time as an only child, with all of our parents' attention, as well as extra years with them that I will never have as the younger one. Unless nobody ever has more than one child (or one set of twins), this is always unavoidably going to be the case.

His half of the estate needs to be split equally between his kids. Anything else is going to lead to bad feeling and a world of hurt.

you sound like a Disney villain stepmother

Your child has a mother that it can inherit from too. Dad should split his estate 3 ways for each child.

This is not a blended family. It is a series of broken families.

Men and women who have good options should avoid/boycott people with previous dc, as they will end up paying for them one way or the other.

thank you all for the responses. I am not proposing that the elder children get nothing, I am simply asking if his proposal that the entire estate is simply split four ways, rather than his estate following the normal majority pass to spouse and any remaining being split equally between all the children seems fair.
some ppl have commented about me getting 50% and the rest being split between the three kids, that is not what he is proposing.
this is all new to me and I would just like to make sure our son is provided for.
I have no idea what the other children will inherit from their mothers, which is why I am not discussing what our son will get from me.
judging by this I will co sided leaving everything to our son rather than my husband

.

When you both die your son will have received 50% of his dad's assets, 100% of his mum's and 100% of their shared house.
Doesn't seem like he's getting diddled to me.

Won't necessarily inherit from her. OP is leaving assets to DH with instructions that it then goes to her DC bit in reality it'll go into his pot and he can leave it as he sees fit. Can't dictate what happens once it's left to someone.

That is not what I said, i encouraged my husband to leave a % rather than a figure as his business will increase in value over time and therefore they will get more

Sorry yabu

His half of the house should really be split 3 ways, his assets should be split 3 ways too, he has 3 children not one. Your half can pass only to your child