To not want to give to charities at the checkout or on the street.

[WeCanOnlyDoOurBest]

At a shop today I was asked by the store assistant at the point of paying with my card if I wanted to donate to charity. This has happened numerous times in other shops/stores as it flags up on the card machine, and I have the option to tap yes or no. However on this occasion it was pointed out to me, she was looking right at me waiting for an answer and watching if I tapped yes or no. It didn’t say which charity it was on the card machine and I declined. She gave a slight shake of her head and I left feeling really uncomfortable.
I also hate it when I get stopped in the street, I find some of them use a very pushy ‘salesman’ technique and try to make me feel like the worst person when I refuse to handover my bank details for a regular monthly donation. The last one asked me, ‘don’t you even care?’
I do give to certain charities, and I’m happy to donate food into the donation box in Sainsbury’s, Tesco etc, I’ve also raised money for cancer research by way of being sponsored on a walk.
What concerns me about giving to charities is how much of our funding and donations go into helping that particular cause? And how much is the big chief being paid out of our donations? For example Simon Cooke, the chief executive of Marie Stopes International earns an annual salary of £430,000.
I see begging adverts on TV… help the donkeys, help the cats, the polar bears, the tigers etc etc. We’re asked to donate to war torn countries, and I see the poor little babies and children half starved in terrible conditions and the mother holding the child is looking far from underfed!
AIBU to only want to give to certain charities? I feel in my heart I would rather help the people and good causes in my own country, because frankly times are hard for a lot of families given the rising cost of living, even for those who are working really hard.
I guess it comes down to me thinking ‘Charity begins at home’, and asking myself the question ‘does the funding go into the right pot that helps the cause?’

She gave a slight shake of her head and I left feeling really uncomfortable.
Did she really shake her head or did you think she did because you felt bad about saying no?

The last one asked me, ‘don’t you even care?’
"No"

Almost everywhere seems to do this now, and I agree it is annoying.

I mainly object to being asked by a profitable company to donate, are they matching my donation?

Then I remember it's not worth worrying about, and just give when I fancy it.

Yes she shook her head, I didn’t imagine it!

I don't think anything about it. Occasionally I donate at the till but not always. I don't stop for people in the street and if someone approaches me I tell them I don't do direct debits before they start talking. I don't mind doing one off donations sometimes, but I don't want to be tied to something.

"are they matching my donation?"

Good point. I will snaffle that away for future use!

"No, thank you. I give to charities that I have chosen myself, thanks"

This is my stock response to chuggers and random charity donation requests.

I prefer to make donations to causes I care deeply about, not that someone else thinks is important.

Yes agree, very good point!

The smallish supermarket on our highstreet has been allowing various charities to set up a stall next to the exit - they are impossible to avoid, between them and the plants the gap is less than six foot.
Every week it’s a different one, so if you’d chosen to support each of them it would be in the £100s by this point. They are not rude at all (but they are impossible to dodge) so other than feeing guilty I have nothing to moan about and yet I still hate it.

I hate it too. I do give to charity, quite a lot as it goes but I want to give to the ones who I know do a good job- most of which are local.
I’ll still give a pound or two to the usual ones but I hate the donate at till or cash point ones!

I hate it, where I used to live we occasionally had a whole bunch of them go door to door and it felt so pressured having someone at door basically being like don’t you care?!

Another reason to shop online...

Gosh, I would hate that too, I’d purposely avoid that supermarket as I’d be too uncomfortable with the set up on leaving

You might like to look into the effective altruism movement. It is basically lots of people who try to measure the impact of charities and asses which ones make the most difference for each £ donated. Reading about this has made me feel more secure in the choices of charity I have made and if anyone questions me I am happy to explain who I support and why.

Ok chuggers in the street I don't like either.

The rest I'm afraid you're being massively, massively unreasonable.

People used to put spare change in pots at the till. Now we all pay by card. They're trying to make up the difference. You can just say no.

A tiny handful of CEOs earn the kind of money you're talking about, usually for running complex international multi-million pound organisations with lots of staff and different activities like charity shops, relief, long term projects etc. Everyone in the sector, CEOs included, are getting paid less than they would in the private sector.

As for mothers in war-torn countries looking healthier than their babies, that's mind blowingly crass. Are you actually saing those mothers are tucking into food and leaving their kids without? FFS.

For a start, a two year old who has lived under war conditions will suffer more from lack of nutrition than an adult. An adult literally starving themselves wouldn't be able to care for children. And children are susceptible to things like diarrhoea from poor nutrition and living in unhygienic conditions. People don't tend to starve to death, they become malnourished because they can only access basic foods and leave out veg, meat etc. then an illness like a tummy bug has much worse consequences for them.

I've found that people who say 'charity begins at home' also don't give to local causes either. All those ads will have gone through a calculation for return on investment, eg they bring in much more in fundraising than they cost to make and broadcast.

Let's face it, you want to live in a consumerist bubble where other people's hardship is kept out of sight because you don't want to give any money to help.

That’s awful! And on your doorstep 😞

She gave a slight shake of her head and I left feeling really uncomfortable.

I really doubt she cared.

I can believe it I was once shouted at "don't you care about disabled children" when I refused to stop and set up a direct debit I was with THREE disabled children at the time the one shouted back no we don't and proceeds to run and flap away from the shouty person my friend her mother was chasing her down her sister was spinning in circles saying oh no a lot and my son was clucking like a chicken

Not anyone's finest moment

Would you like to pay higher taxes instead so charities can have more government funding?

Charities have to work hard to raise money.

It is quite easy to say no thank you. It is a request, after all.

I always decline. It just says “charity”. Well what charity? A charity for children? A cancer charity? A charity fund for their own employees who they don’t pay enough?

You get tired of all these requests and shops complain a lot about internet shopping and tell us they fight to exist. They need to offer service not begging on behalf on charities.
I do most of our shopping online. No regrets.

I always say "ah I have dedicated charities I give to each month so I am unable to give anymore". Though in big shops when the staff ask directly, I also follow up with "how much has {insert brand} donated to this cause this year?" Or "are you matching how much the general public donates?"

Why didn't you ask what the charity is?
Many of the big name retailers sponsor a charity.
McDonald's have their own charity - the Ronald McDonald Houses. Many parents with a child in hospital long term will be very grateful for that charity. But you don't have to donate if you don't want to.
Poundland sponsor a charity and part of the in-store announcements/ads you hear explains what it is. It used to be Whizz-Kids (a charity that provides equipment for children with disabilities). It's changed now and I can't think of the name off hand but it's also a charity for children with disabilities.
It's just the modern equivalent of popping your loose change in the pot on the counter (and can't be stolen like those collection boxes so frequently used to be).
I doubt the assistant cared that you didn't donate. Sometimes staff in branches I go to automatically press the "no" button for you in advance because they are so used to people not wanting to donate.
People on the street is different because you don't have a 100% guarantee they are actually collecting for the charity or are just saying they are (unless it's an information stall at a market or something).

@PotaytoPotahhto why don't you just ask what the charity is.

I absolutely hate this.

If the store wants to support a charity they are welcome to donate some of their profits to them...