To not want to give to charities at the checkout or on the street.

[WeCanOnlyDoOurBest]

At a shop today I was asked by the store assistant at the point of paying with my card if I wanted to donate to charity. This has happened numerous times in other shops/stores as it flags up on the card machine, and I have the option to tap yes or no. However on this occasion it was pointed out to me, she was looking right at me waiting for an answer and watching if I tapped yes or no. It didn’t say which charity it was on the card machine and I declined. She gave a slight shake of her head and I left feeling really uncomfortable.
I also hate it when I get stopped in the street, I find some of them use a very pushy ‘salesman’ technique and try to make me feel like the worst person when I refuse to handover my bank details for a regular monthly donation. The last one asked me, ‘don’t you even care?’
I do give to certain charities, and I’m happy to donate food into the donation box in Sainsbury’s, Tesco etc, I’ve also raised money for cancer research by way of being sponsored on a walk.
What concerns me about giving to charities is how much of our funding and donations go into helping that particular cause? And how much is the big chief being paid out of our donations? For example Simon Cooke, the chief executive of Marie Stopes International earns an annual salary of £430,000.
I see begging adverts on TV… help the donkeys, help the cats, the polar bears, the tigers etc etc. We’re asked to donate to war torn countries, and I see the poor little babies and children half starved in terrible conditions and the mother holding the child is looking far from underfed!
AIBU to only want to give to certain charities? I feel in my heart I would rather help the people and good causes in my own country, because frankly times are hard for a lot of families given the rising cost of living, even for those who are working really hard.
I guess it comes down to me thinking ‘Charity begins at home’, and asking myself the question ‘does the funding go into the right pot that helps the cause?’

I just say that I donate to a lot of charities every month via Give as you Earn as the charities get the tax back.

@CatamaranViper the staff member on the till might not have the information for that but I expect their website will.

@whiteroseredrose just say "no". You don't need to give an explanation.

They also ask this in some charity shops now.

Where I work we take credit card payments . The machines are set up to ask if you want to make a charity donation . If I remember correctly I cancel before handing card machine over .

i don’t always . If you then asked I would tell you which charity ..

if you then gave 50p or not I could not give a hoot .

I agree that it's outrageous to just say 'donate to charity' without even telling you which charity it is. It makes me think that they're probably very unpopular and/or contentious charities if they can only get donations this way.

Even if they do say which charity it is, it just betrays a very small world on their part (or alternatively they're on commission) when they try to shame or guilt you when you decline (or simply can't afford) to donate to their nominated charity on this particular day.

I think the complaints about the decline in the use of cash are a red herring. There's nothing whatsoever stopping supermarkets or other premises having a sign on the wall, next to a card terminal where you can contactlessly donate either a set amount or the amount of your choice, should you want to, or otherwise walk right on by if you don't want to.

The charities who do this know very well that they're deliberately cashing in on the awkwardness of putting people on the spot - many of whom won't actively want to give to them, but feel they will be judged or shamed if they don't.

They usually do

This really annoys me and I always ask if the shop matches my donation. The anwer is usually 'don't know' so I don't.

I also feel like this about food bank bins in supermarkets. Do they match the donations that are given? Do they even donate the profit element of the donations that are made??

The only charity I actually give to at the till is the Ronald Macdonald trust and i just round up to the nearest pound.

Yes I hate it. I actually don't mind the ones on the card machines because you can (hopefully) discreetly decline if you want to but the ones who set up stalls drive me insane. I know charities are struggling financially but the guilt I feel when I say no and walk past is a lot!

@DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe out of curiosity I went onto Poundland's website to see what the charity they support is now (as I mentioned it upthread).
It actually called the Poundland Foundation.
I then googled the website for that and it tells you what they do.
That took all of 2 minutes.
You have 2 choices if asked if you want to donate....
1 - say "no"
2 - ask what the charity is and if you want more information google it.

We’re asked to donate to war torn countries, and I see the poor little babies and children half starved in terrible conditions and the mother holding the child is looking far from underfed!
I've read some appalling comments on MN, but this is just ignorant.

'I think the complaints about the decline in the use of cash are a red herring. There's nothing whatsoever stopping supermarkets or other premises having a sign on the wall, next to a card terminal where you can contactlessly donate either a set amount or the amount of your choice, should you want to, or otherwise walk right on by if you don't want to.'

@DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe

Well, for a start there's the wiring and cleaning and WiFi and maintenance etc needed for a terminal.

The risk assessments for someone bashing into it.

And it would require a supermarket to commit to a long term partnership with one given charity to make the cost of installing it worthwhile.

What you're saying is you want charities to spend money installing something so you can ignore them without feeling guilty about it.

Don't feel guilty. Just say no if you don't want to. Why is the request somehow a terrible intrusion?

Your comment…
“Let’s face it, you want to live in a consumerist bubble where other people’s hardship is kept out of sight because you don’t want to give any money to help”

No, YOU face it, YOU are way off the mark. I not only donate to charity I used to volunteer for one. I’ve also voluntarily organised events and as a result raised money for our local hospital.
But there will always be vile judgmental people like you and posts like yours on MN because some users are only happy when they are spitting vitriol rather than offering genuine advice and support…
AND trust me, I know what it feels like to have nothing and to not have enough money to buy essential food and commodities for my family. It might’ve been a lot of years ago but it’s made me compassionate towards others and those who are in that position.

And your comment…
“I’ve ‘found’ that people who say ‘charity begins at home’ also don’t give to local causes either”
REALLY!!!!! You have “FOUND” well you’ve not found it in my post!
You Are JUDGMENTAL and appear to be one of those MN users who scroll through until you find a post you can twist to suit your need to be nasty.
YOU are beyond unreasonable

Here's an idea: try donating instead

@Haroldwilson many retailers do give support in other ways.
Sometimes they sponsor a local football team. Food shops donate to food banks/community fridges. Clothes shops sometimes donate unsold clothes.
Remember those vouchers we used to get from the supermarket for sports/art/books for primary schools. That's the retailers funding that.

I quite firmly say "No thank you, I already donate regularly to my favourite charities and cannot afford any more".

That’s true, our Tesco donate to the food bank, and on Christmas Eve 3pm gave away all left over fresh food to anyone who turned up.

Nope, I find your attitude objectionable. Especially about mother's not feeding their babies in war zones. What the actual fuck.

Yes I have found that people who say charity starts at home are usually hypocrites. Maybe reform voters as well.

Giving brings people joy. You don't have to give. You can walk by. If you can't afford to give then don't. It's not difficult.

But they're still hoping to cash in by default, inertia or confusion rather than honestly asking for free donations from those who want to give.

There's nothing at all stopping them from putting up a sign giving the name of the nominated charity and inviting donations - rather than just relying on staff remembering to press 'No' every time and/or customers pressing the wrong buttons or feeling mean not doing so.

They're in the middle of an authorised transaction they're happy to make, so if they see a green button and a red button and are being asked to press one of them, many people would interpret that as green to confirm all OK or red only if there's a problem - especially if they have poor eyesight or don't speak English as a first language.

Also, you may not care if they give or not, but (as in the OP), a lot of cashiers and assistants will seemingly take it personally and judge if customers don't donate.

what happened to the tokens you used to get in supermarkets to vote which local charity would benefit. I think the physical and visual aspect made it more tangible and motivating. You could combine that with the request to round up?

I don't give at the checkout or to charities on planes etc. as it annoys me that they will then brag about the amount they've given that year to charity and it's not their money so I'd rather donate independently.

I hate it too and I hate even more when restaurants and hotels add a donation to my bill that I then need to ask to have removed, or reluctantly donate to a charity I don't support without even the benefit of gift aid. I'll be the judge of where my money goes thanks.

@DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe a lot of cashiers and assistants will seemingly take it personally and judge if customers don't donate.

Really? Spotty youths on a minimum wage take personal offence, do they?

Also I don’t feel guilty saying no, I often tell them I donate by shopping a lot in charity shops and donating items there too.

@DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe all the shops I go that support a charity has a sign with the name and charity number on the counter next to the tills.