To not want to give to charities at the checkout or on the street.

[WeCanOnlyDoOurBest]

At a shop today I was asked by the store assistant at the point of paying with my card if I wanted to donate to charity. This has happened numerous times in other shops/stores as it flags up on the card machine, and I have the option to tap yes or no. However on this occasion it was pointed out to me, she was looking right at me waiting for an answer and watching if I tapped yes or no. It didn’t say which charity it was on the card machine and I declined. She gave a slight shake of her head and I left feeling really uncomfortable.
I also hate it when I get stopped in the street, I find some of them use a very pushy ‘salesman’ technique and try to make me feel like the worst person when I refuse to handover my bank details for a regular monthly donation. The last one asked me, ‘don’t you even care?’
I do give to certain charities, and I’m happy to donate food into the donation box in Sainsbury’s, Tesco etc, I’ve also raised money for cancer research by way of being sponsored on a walk.
What concerns me about giving to charities is how much of our funding and donations go into helping that particular cause? And how much is the big chief being paid out of our donations? For example Simon Cooke, the chief executive of Marie Stopes International earns an annual salary of £430,000.
I see begging adverts on TV… help the donkeys, help the cats, the polar bears, the tigers etc etc. We’re asked to donate to war torn countries, and I see the poor little babies and children half starved in terrible conditions and the mother holding the child is looking far from underfed!
AIBU to only want to give to certain charities? I feel in my heart I would rather help the people and good causes in my own country, because frankly times are hard for a lot of families given the rising cost of living, even for those who are working really hard.
I guess it comes down to me thinking ‘Charity begins at home’, and asking myself the question ‘does the funding go into the right pot that helps the cause?’

This website is good for anyone who wants to see how fundraisers are supposed to behave.

As an absolute minimum you should be being told which charity your money is going to, but there is actually a lot more you should be told.

www.fundraisingregulator.org.uk/

@LenaMidwinter you just have to ask what charity it is. Why wouldn't you do that?

No, I think that's very wise.

Sadly, if you do give them your personal details - maybe so they can claim gift aid - many of them will take advantage.

Let's face it, you want to live in a consumerist bubble where other people's hardship is kept out of sight because you don't want to give any money to help

I think this is massively out of order. I give to charity every month by direct debit and I have volunteered at 4 different charities over the last decade. I am fully aware of hardship and I even work in an area that helps people with their mental health so I've literally spent my entire career helping people in hardship and extreme distress. That still doesnt mean I want to be harassed by strangers about charity donations. I dont have unlimited funds to donate to every cause out there and I wont be shamed for it.

The places where they tend to have this in my town are petrol stations, where the workers barely speak any English at all.

They're very nice, but if they can't understand you when you ask a basic routine question, it seems an unnecessary hassle to have to ask when they won't have a clue, just to complete your transaction and get on with your day.

The obvious solution is just to press red, so that you can pay (assuming you have reasonable eyesight, aren't colour blind or unable to understand it because of learning difficulties) -- but seriously, what is the point in all that?

I suppose the charity gets some people pressing green for whatever reason - maybe 'it's for charity' is enough for them - so they don't care; for everybody else, it's just an added faff.

And before anybody says you shouldn't be driving if you don't have good eyesight, petrol stations sell loads of other products as well as fuel; and it isn't always the driver who pays for fuel at any rate.

If you don’t want to give to charity just…don’t give to charity. Stop imagining personal slights or judgements.

How do you know they're imagined, though. I accept that most shop staff won't care one way or the other; but there certainly are people who judge based on their own personal preferences and opinions.

Surely, if you've spent anytime on MN at all, you'll be familiar with judgy people and those who simply cannot understand people who are not exactly like them!

Not a problem in a huge anonymous store; but if it's your local shop, where they know (and talk to) everybody, plenty of folk do worry about what people think or say about them.

It is annoying when you just want to get on with your day but I say ‘I’ve got my charities thank you’. I even resent having to justify myself. I bet they stop loads more women than men…

@DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe that actually concerns me if staff at a petrol station can't speak English for safety reasons.
It's a flammable environment. Lets hope they never need to call the emergency services.
But that's going off subject......

the person gave a slight shake of the head, honestly people just need to grow up and getting wound up by things like that. Either give to charity or don’t, it’s fine to do either but get a grip. Even a small shop where someone recognises you just say no thank you, it’s a perfectly fine thing to say. Honestly, people need to just act more like adults.
Surely if you’ve spent any time on MN you’ll recognise there’s a huge swath of people that can’t deal with anything.

Or their usual ‘it’s a really good cause’. So are the other 500 I’ve been approached about this week 🙄 I’ve got a lot better at just saying no, firmly and unequivocally. It’s something the British could do with getting better at.

I used to get raffle tickets sent in the National Trust magazine when it wasn't online, I just used to throw them away

Indeed - why should you feel that you have to justify not giving? I know people will just say "No is a complete sentence", but in reality, that's often a very awkward way to respond. The awkwardness is built in to the fundraising method.

It isn't just chuggers, who stand to benefit financially, who will try to pressure you into giving to their charity; many well-meaning volunteers and collectors are also unable to comprehend that their cause is far from the only one, and that people may prefer to give their limited available funds to another cause that they've carefully chosen to support, rather than the one that you just happen to be collecting for.

I never do gift aid to get into places because the price is always higher, I thought gift aid was something that comes out of your tax

I just say 'no thank you' when asked at the till. I have charities that I support both nationally and locally and that's my business not anyone else's. I don't feel the need to explain myself.

I've never understood that one either. I think it's some kind of technicality, whereby if you pay (say) the standard £10 to buy a ticket, you're buying a product and not giving; whereby if you give them £12 (which is then gift-aided), that's a donation - and then, if they give their supporters a ticket as a thank-you for their gift, that's allowed. Something like that, I think. Or maybe they can only claim GA on the additional amount over the price of the ticket?

I agree that it's often unwelcome though. The whole thing about GA is that it's pushed as 'at no extra cost to you' (other than reduced funds to pay for government services!). You're already supporting a place by giving them your custom and buying a ticket - but you're made to feel mean if you 'only' do that.

I used to work in a small supermarket and every week they allowed different charities to set up near the door and accost customers. The customers and staff hated it but higher management thought it made them look good.
We actually lost customers because they refused to return, these people were practically chuggers.
Although I did speak to them when I heard one ask a lovely regular customer if they cared about whatever it was. They said they were trained to do that. Just awful.
My ds was unemployed for a year after school and was asked by people outside the job centre if he wanted to be one of those charity people who come to your home and try to sign you up for monthly donations. They made it sound great and he was desperate for a job. It was the biggest con going for him and the other youngsters. They would pick him up early and drop him somewhere miles away and expect him to make his own way home with no access to food or toilets. He found it awful asking people for money and after 2 weeks of getting home at 9pm soaked to the skin I made him give it up.

I don't like it either but I'm very comfortable saying no. If someone in the street asks me "Do I care about animal cruelty" I just reply that I don' and walk on.

I'm not sure I would have taken the woman's shake of the head as an indication she was disapproving of you. She might just be disapproving of the whole thing

Just say no if you don't want to.
A charity collector (the sign up kind) actually jumped over a bench to get my attention, back when I lived in a big city, to which my response was 'Hassling me won't get results. GO AWAY".

I hate chuggers, although the ones in our local supermarket are usually selling electricity rather than charitable.

Sometimes I give at the till, sometimes I don't. I can't say being asked upsets me- I sincerely doubt the cashier cares, and their opinion of me means so very little to me even if they do...

You can bet that some of the people claiming to be mortally offended and harassed, are the same people who complain young people are all snowflakes and there's too much talk about mental health nowadays.

Also, what was the comment about the starving children about? Do you think women in war torn countries are competitively starving their kids to get on the TV OP?

I despise this approach to charity collection. If people want to donate they will do it themselves without being harassed. No one can afford it these days, it should be banned to beg.

I let chuggers tell me all about the charity, and then say that when I get home I will arrange a direct debit online. If they are annoyed at that, they are just annoyed they didn't get commission. The last one properly stomped off when I said I would sort an online payment later. It always becomes clear they don't care about the charity at all, just about their commission

It is, but HMRC set rules and charities have to demonstrate that gift aid is on genuine donations - hence charities having to introduce different pricing structures. HMRC aren't afraid to try and recover gift aid from charities if they feel it wasn't due to them. I supported a charity through an attempt by HMRC to claw back gift aid and ultimately the charity was successful but it was eye opening how aggressive HMRC are.

(It seems it's just absent dads and billionaires they like to leave alone)

Someone asking if you want to round up at a supermarket check out is hardly 'being harassed by a stranger'

If you're in poverty, presumably walking past adverts and shops is also upsetting because you can't buy things from them. Should they also be banned? People standing outside giving free samples?

People are so ready to call others snowflakes, that's what this seems to me.

Re vitriol, have you explained your comment about pictures of African women and their babies yet?