To not want to give to charities at the checkout or on the street.

[WeCanOnlyDoOurBest]

At a shop today I was asked by the store assistant at the point of paying with my card if I wanted to donate to charity. This has happened numerous times in other shops/stores as it flags up on the card machine, and I have the option to tap yes or no. However on this occasion it was pointed out to me, she was looking right at me waiting for an answer and watching if I tapped yes or no. It didn’t say which charity it was on the card machine and I declined. She gave a slight shake of her head and I left feeling really uncomfortable.
I also hate it when I get stopped in the street, I find some of them use a very pushy ‘salesman’ technique and try to make me feel like the worst person when I refuse to handover my bank details for a regular monthly donation. The last one asked me, ‘don’t you even care?’
I do give to certain charities, and I’m happy to donate food into the donation box in Sainsbury’s, Tesco etc, I’ve also raised money for cancer research by way of being sponsored on a walk.
What concerns me about giving to charities is how much of our funding and donations go into helping that particular cause? And how much is the big chief being paid out of our donations? For example Simon Cooke, the chief executive of Marie Stopes International earns an annual salary of £430,000.
I see begging adverts on TV… help the donkeys, help the cats, the polar bears, the tigers etc etc. We’re asked to donate to war torn countries, and I see the poor little babies and children half starved in terrible conditions and the mother holding the child is looking far from underfed!
AIBU to only want to give to certain charities? I feel in my heart I would rather help the people and good causes in my own country, because frankly times are hard for a lot of families given the rising cost of living, even for those who are working really hard.
I guess it comes down to me thinking ‘Charity begins at home’, and asking myself the question ‘does the funding go into the right pot that helps the cause?’

The worst ones are those that come tot he door.

I once had one ask if I had heard of the charity, my answer was, "Yes, my mother is currently dying of cancer", the chugger's response, "Oh that's good isn't it?"

I'm on benefits so I don't have a lot spare so I'm selective about where I do put my money.

I try to do other things to help, my hair is sent to the little princess trust, spare craft items go to the local holiday club etc.

So this is my post, there is no mention that I felt harassed, so please don’t invent something that didn’t happen for attention

@WeCanOnlyDoOurBest your words......

Award yourself an Oscar 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 🏆

Who are you to say what needs to be talked about or not? Telling people 'just' to donate when you know absolutely nothing about their circumstances?

Plenty of people donate to charities and add to them periodically. There comes a point at which no more money can be donated and that's fine. It's not for any supermarket, bucket-holder or bumptious mumsnet poster to wheedle otherwise.

@WeCanOnlyDoOurBest thanks 😂
Seriously though.....all you have to do in these situations is say (or press the button) "no". It's no big deal.
The sales assistants don't care.
They really don't.
🙂

Well said! I agree the people who approach you on the street or come to your door are annoying but OP you seem to have a problem with the very concept of charitable giving. If you don't believe there are really so many people and causes in need then your world must be very small but it doesn't matter anyway. Your money is yours to allocate as you see fit and you don't need excuses not to give. I can't imagine being that disturbed about a perceived head shake from a shop clerk.

@RatInADollhouse

I think you reasoning is really simplistic.

I have worked and volunteered for charities for the past 25 years.

I completely object to chuggers and to shops and charity shops trying to guilt trip people into donating at the till.

I donate to the charities of my choice and have no interest in shops guilt-tripping people into donating to other causes.

If anything I think it actually alienate potential donors rather than anything else.

100% agree @WeCanOnlyDoOurBest I get sick of it, and frankly I just ignore them half the time. I don't owe them a reaction, and certainly will NOT give them my bloody name and address and bank details on an open street or in a shop!. And I have also had them ask 'don't you care?' and 'excuse me madam - do you like animals?' Who doesn't like animals? Stupid fuck!

I get sick of 'would you like to round up your £7.18 to £8.00 for 'charity....?' at the checkout! Sometimes it a fucking charity shop that asks. FFS I am already giving to your charity by buying something from your shop! They have also started to sell 'raffle tickets' and 'lottery tickets' for £2 at the checkout .. ANOTHER way to squeeze more money out of paying customers who are already giving to their charity by purchasing their stock. I reckon I could buy a lottery ticket or raffle ticket 20 times a day for a month, and not win anything!

Some other shops and stores ask you to 'round up' to give to 'charity' too, or just ask you to give a pound or two! I buy something from a particular store and the checkout operator says '£6.99 please...' I wave my card in front of the little machine, and nothing happens. They say 'it's asking if you want to give £2, to charity, you need to press red for no, or green for yes.'

This seems to be happening in 1 in 4 shops I go into at the moment. When did this all start? I hate it, and I now have compassion fatigue. I give nothing now. The majority of charities are just fucking grabby now. I give to several that are close to my heart and close to home, and I do the postcode lottery that gives a lot to local charities and causes, but anyone begging me for money in the streets or at the checkouts (or on my doorstep) can fuck right off.

Oh, ALSO, I remember signing up for a magazine once - in a shopping centre - and a direct debit was set up for £3 a month for 12 issues. They would come once a month. I got a phone call 2 months in asking me if I would like £120 worth of vouchers for £50 for stores like M & S, Debenhams, John Lewis, Sainsburys, and Waitrose. It was a mix of vouchers for between £1 and £4 off... £1 off if you spent £20, and £3 off if you spend £50. Etc. I said no as I don't shop in any of those stores.

About a week later, I was looking at my online banking and I noticed a 'pending payment' for £50, payable to this magazine's distributor. I instantly cancelled the direct debit, and the payment failed. In fact they were unable to take any more money at all...

They kept ringing me and I wouldn't answer, so they emailed me and said the payment had failed for my book of vouchers. I emailed back and said 'yes I cancelled it because I told you I didn't WANT these vouchers for £1 to £4 off £20 to £50 items in a bunch of shops I never go in, and you still tried to take £50 of my money.' Hilariously the vouchers still came. I got no more magazines either as the direct debit was stopped.

They kept emailing me asking for the pack of vouchers back. I said 'I never asked for them, I never wanted them. Come and get them if you want them.' They didn't - and I never heard from them again. I never touched the pack of vouchers, and as soon as they were out of date (after 12 months) I binned them.

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway well that was on you if you signed up for a random magazine.
Why didn't you say "no" ?
As for rounding up in charity shops. When most people paid cash and if you got change and it wasn't a lot many people would pop it in the charity tin. If something was priced 99p I expect "keep the penny" was a regular thing.
But again....all you have to do is say "no" if you don't want to.

@veraswaistcoat yep !
That's the way to do it 😂

@Needmorelego

What are EARTH are you going on about? Did you read my post correctly? Did you even read it at ALL?

I CLEARLY SAID, that I willingly signed up for a monthly magazine (at £3 a month over 12 months,) but I did NOT sign up to have extra money taken out of my account for shit that I neither asked for nor wanted. I DID say no, when they rang me and asked me if I wanted this pack of £120 worth of money-off vouchers for £50 - for 5 stores that I never shop in, and yet they still tried to take the money!

Seriously if you CBA to read people posts properly, then don't bother responding!

Omg I would have laid him out. I had a woman try and get me to do this at my door for a breast cancer charity. I was recovering myself from breast cancer and had completed a large fundraiser for CRUK. I declined to sign up and she said "well let's hope you don't get it then". Her face was a picture when I told her ☠️

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway yes but what on earth made you sign up to a random magazine from a random on the street?
That's what I don't understand.
(I did read your post 🙂)

Thank you for this, I appreciate that you’re on the same page and took the time to respond.
I’ve received quite a bit of vitriol 🙄 but that’s MN isn’t it

Practice saying ‘no thank you’ with confidence and you’ll soon stop worrying what other people think.

I only occasionally give cash to charity as I prefer to give my time instead. I volunteer 6 hours a week for a charity who absolutely value their volunteers; I give to Food Banks regularly, and DC’s very good condition clothing, toys, buggy, high chair and other baby/child paraphernalia still goes to the local Baby Bank over the years. I also support our school PTA with contributing to their various fundraising events etc.

I was however annoyed with the person the charity I volunteer for had stationed inside Sainsbury’s. He collared me as I went past and I said “no thank you I already volunteer for them 2 days a week” (I used to do longer hours until I went back to work).

He replied “yes but this is only £5 a month..” but I ignored him and kept walking. What people like him don’t get is that if you consider a volunteer’s hourly rate could be at least minimum wage then I already ‘donate’ nearly £70/week.

What on earth are you going on about? That OP willingly signed up to the magazine for 12 months - she didn't want or sign up to the vouchers. The company sent the vouchers and charged the OP without her consent. That is the issue, not her decision to subscribe to the magazine which you are rudely questioning.

It's it really obvious that you don't understand.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe it just seems an odd thing to do. Signing up for a magazine via (I assume) a stand in a shopping centre. Why would you do that any more than signing up to change your electric supplier from a random in the street or donating to a vague charity via a random street chugger.
The fact the company tried to get her to buy discount vouchers (that seems iffy for a start) makes me wonder how legit the whole thing was.
Sorry if I sound rude but it just seems an odd thing to do. Must have been a pretty special magazine.

We once (foolishly) signed up for a charity 'magazine' on the doorstep (it was only a few pages long and leaflet-sized).

It was clearly being presented as a way to support children with cancer - at about a fiver a go although there was a suspiciously high number of random 'double issues' at twice the price but not apparently any thicker - but 'all for a good cause, right'?

It was absolute rubbish generic content - adverts, random wordsearches and 'baked potato' obvious advice, so it normally went straight in the recycling; but eventually, we glanced inside and saw (in teeny tiny print) that the charity that was prominently plastered over the cover received about 2% of the cover price!

We stopped it immediately; but what a scam!!

It's not massively unlike the charities who send out unsolicited raffle tickets 'for you to sell' but obviously intending you to buy them yourself.

As soon as they send them, they consider them sold and get huffy if you say you don't want them, and insist on you sending them back at your own expense and effort.

A lot of entitled charities do treat their donors as fools to be milked - and assume that, if you support them in any way, you're ripe for the plucking in whatever way they decide they want more money from you.

Some will also write to you and just tell you that they're automatically increasing your direct debit (often sizeably) unless you contact them to stop them - presumably hoping you'll think their letter is another circular and ignore it!

@DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe I have never had unsolicited raffle tickets sent to me because I have never given a charity my name and address.

I always say no to chuggers etc .
I have a number of standing orders set up for charities and I give to friends fundraisers if I like the cause

Often on the card machine requests, it just says "for charity", not which charity. I'm not giving to just any old random charity because there are plenty that are run poorly. And that's what I'd say if anyone wanted to push it. I want to choose where I give.

A friend of mine is currently being paid £££ a day to consult for a charity that is not actioning a single one of her recommendations despite her having a specific remit in an area she is an expert in. It's really put me off them. She's genuinely trying and does know her stuff but scale it up and there must be loads of people like her who are not really trying because why would they in such poorly run organisations.