To not want to give to charities at the checkout or on the street.

[WeCanOnlyDoOurBest]

At a shop today I was asked by the store assistant at the point of paying with my card if I wanted to donate to charity. This has happened numerous times in other shops/stores as it flags up on the card machine, and I have the option to tap yes or no. However on this occasion it was pointed out to me, she was looking right at me waiting for an answer and watching if I tapped yes or no. It didn’t say which charity it was on the card machine and I declined. She gave a slight shake of her head and I left feeling really uncomfortable.
I also hate it when I get stopped in the street, I find some of them use a very pushy ‘salesman’ technique and try to make me feel like the worst person when I refuse to handover my bank details for a regular monthly donation. The last one asked me, ‘don’t you even care?’
I do give to certain charities, and I’m happy to donate food into the donation box in Sainsbury’s, Tesco etc, I’ve also raised money for cancer research by way of being sponsored on a walk.
What concerns me about giving to charities is how much of our funding and donations go into helping that particular cause? And how much is the big chief being paid out of our donations? For example Simon Cooke, the chief executive of Marie Stopes International earns an annual salary of £430,000.
I see begging adverts on TV… help the donkeys, help the cats, the polar bears, the tigers etc etc. We’re asked to donate to war torn countries, and I see the poor little babies and children half starved in terrible conditions and the mother holding the child is looking far from underfed!
AIBU to only want to give to certain charities? I feel in my heart I would rather help the people and good causes in my own country, because frankly times are hard for a lot of families given the rising cost of living, even for those who are working really hard.
I guess it comes down to me thinking ‘Charity begins at home’, and asking myself the question ‘does the funding go into the right pot that helps the cause?’

Just say no. I was asked the other day to top up what i was paying by 50p, my reply was i have just bought something from your shop that you got for free so no i wont be adding more.

The cashiers at my local Poundland tell me just to hit the red button whenever I pay with card 🤣

But ime, it's rarely the little local charities that are involved in this - it usually tends to be the bigger national charities who have the stalls or are chosen by the supermarkets/establishments as their 'giving partner'.

Thank you for this

@DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe the person on the till doesn't have time to stand and explain what the charity is. They can tell you charity name or a basic bit of information if it's a smaller fundraiser ("we are helping to fund the new playground in the local park") but they really can't go into a long explanation.
It seriously is just the modern equivalent of a box at the till that people used to put their pennies in. It's not a new concept.
@sequin2000 they do "do more than the average shopper" - that was my point.

Very good point!

Not the same as a box at the till at all. The person behind the till didn't pick up the box, shake it at you and ask for money. It was private decision to donate, that privacy has now been taken away.

I don’t give money to any charities, or food banks or sponsored walks and I don’t feel bad, it’s my money to spend as I choose. I don’t care if some shop worker or chugger disapproves either.

This basically. I do personally suspect that people that bang on about CEO salaries and money wasted on fundraising and so on as a reason not to donate to charity haven't really bothered to do even a cursory Google. If they did they'd easily discover there are several charities out there that really do exceptional work literally saving lives for very, very little money. Mosquito nets, vitamin supplements and worming treatments for instance cost pennies in the third world and are life saving or life transforming. So I really don't buy the idea that charity giving is pointless or a waste. If you really have no money to spare or you have a logical argument against charitable giving for other reasons then fine but don't pedal lazy myths or stereotypes.

But choosing carefully which charities you give to and doing so in a planned and regular way rather than to random charities at the till, absolutely fair enough although I generally regard the till question as the equivalent of the 'change pot' you used to get in the days of small change, you're usually only asked if you want to round up your payment or perhaps add a very small donation of £1 or something, I have absolutely no problem saying no or absent mindedly yes, can't say I've ever noticed even the smallest judgment from the cashier either way. They have better things to be thinking about I'm sure! Chuggers on the other hand are a known scourge, they act like aggressive salespeople because that's exactly what they are, people employed to hard sell, they aren't volunteers and they don't have much personal connection to the charity, just out to make some commission/a living. They won't even accept a cash or one off donation if you offer, direct debit only. Most reputable charities stopped using them 10 years or more ago. Again I literally just walk past without breaking stride, don't engage them in conversation at all. If someone judges me, who cares, I'm very comfortable with my level of charitable giving and feel no need whatsoever to justify myself to strangers.

Maybe I have really thick skin but making a whole MN thread about this and then responding aggressively to challenge smacks slightly of insecurity, are you as happy as you say with your current charity set up?

Well said, it feel more like harrassment

@ERthree they usually ask these days because you do have to press the "no" button but I have NEVER been made to feel I must donate or made to feel guilty or anything like that. It's no more an invasion of my privacy than asking if I need a bag.
The assistants really don't care and are pretty much saying the words they have to do ("do you want half price chocolate/have yo got a clubcard/do you want to donate") on complete auto pilot - I worked in retail for 20 years 😂

@WeCanOnlyDoOurBest really - being asked to press a button on a machine is "harassment"?
I agree that chuggers on the street/in shop doorways are a pain but I either say "no", put my hand up in a "no" manner or don't even make eye contact.

I remember someone asking for money for disabled children. I replied "I have one at home"...

@WeCanOnlyDoOurBest Say no thanks because you choose the charities you support. You don’t need to feel guilt about not supporting theirs.

This.

Also worked in retail and I genuinely couldn't have given a shit if people said yes or no to these things.

oh look another charity bashing thread.

just say no

charities have a duty to raise funds and are perfectly entitled to ask.

giving is a personal choice so if you don’t want to give don’t.

I donate to tressel trust, lifeboats and hospice monthly by dd.
I will sometimes donate online to a disaster or similar.
Other than that I rely on my resting bitch face to do the talking.

I never donate through companies. They can get the tax back on any donations they make.

Indeed - and by the same token, no need to be rude to a retail worker just doing what their boss has told them do - a cheery No thanks will do. 🙂

Spot on!

They get tax deduction on donations THEY make. Not that YOU make. They're just letting the charity use their premises etc for that.

They get indirect benefit of brand boosting by being associated with a positive cause.

Nonsense.

Customers' donations are not 'a tax write off' (whatever you think you mean by that).

However, charitable donations, whether by a corporate or an individual, are tax deductible.

AIBU to only want to give to certain charities?

No, of course not, but YABU to get worked up about this. Saying it is harassment is OTT.

With the card reader thing, just press 'no' and move on with your day. With the chuggers, either just say 'No' or 'I already give' is a good one, and, again, just move on with your day.

Well, quite.

At the till, click no
In the street "no, I don't give to charities that stop me in the street, I give direct to ones I choose"
At the door "no, I never donate to doorsteppers, goodbye"
In answer to "do you care". "Yes, but I cannot give to everyone and you are not my chosen charity this year".