To think that wolf whistling wasn't such a bad thing?

[NovemberMorn]

Joanna Lumley has just given an interview in which she says..."I never minded wolf whistling, I always thought it was tremendous".

She also said... "I think we were a little bit tougher then. Somebody put their hand on your leg, you didn’t feel affronted and report it. You’d give them a slap.”

Do you think she is right?

Well, it's her opinion, so in her world she's right, I guess. People can agree or disagree.

For me personally, I didn't ever mind being wolf-whistled. And she's spot on about the hand-on-leg thing - you totally would just give the man a slap.
BUT in both these instances we're talking about 'back in the day'. These days, neither would be tolerated and I think, in both instances, would have way more 'sinister' undertones to the 'lad' nature of yesteryear. Just my opinion.

Back then, a house cost 4 x the average salary. Now it's 10 x the average salary.

'Back in the day' we never heard of drinks being spiked, I never heard a man refer to a woman as a cunt or a twat. In comparison to how women are treated today, I think Joanna Lumley and her like had it easy.

I agree with Joanna, on both counts.

Nothing at all. I have a really great life, happily married for almost 30 years with a great family. No bad experiences and I have great self worth. All good thanks. Pathetic and laughable of you to think i base my self worth on a few wolf whistles years ago
I'll leave this thread now so you can all shout and rant unchallenged into your echo chamber.

Agree with everything you said!!

Your opinion of men seems to be very low

I wasn’t talking to you?

You were talking to someone that had sane opinions as me?

So you concede that I wasn’t talking to you?

I'd rather be wolf whistled at than a man shouting "suck my dick, bitch" at me. The former makes me roll my eyes, the second scares me.

Personally, I'd rather a gentleman tip, or even raise, his hat and say "good morning". That's a world I wouldn't mind living in.

I think some posters on MN would find even that kind of behaviour offensive.

No.
It was excruciating when I was a teenager.
And frightening.
It takes years to get to the tough stage and before that stage is reached, frightened teenage girls were absolutely persecuted by dirty vile men.
She's not that bright is she.

I'd rather be wolf whistled at than a man shouting "suck my dick, bitch" at me. The former makes me roll my eyes, the second scares me.

I wasn’t aware it was either/or

But I’d rather men didn’t say this OR wolf whistle. I feel quite sad for men that we have such low expectations of them that we think they all do one or the other

Considering 1 in 4 women are raped or sexually assaulted in their lifetime, and given that I was regularly wolf whistled at as a child, in my school uniform, my opinion of some men is very low, yes.

That PP has already said she knows she’s extremely attractive, that’s what I based my comment on.

JFC 🙄

Would you have found it harmless if the same group of men were catcalling you on the street, yards away and you had to walk right by them?

if not, why not?

All those saying it was harmless flirtation, please let us know whether catcalling on the street is also acceptable to you?

If not, why?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-43718034

A wolf whistle or cat call back then may have meant the bloke found you attractive. I wouldn't know, I wasn't there, but maybe that was the general way of things. Thinking of it that way, I can see why people found it a compliment.

That's not what it means these days. A wolf whistle or cat call is nothing to do with how attractive a man finds you. Times have changed. The guy might actually think you're a right minger.

It's about how vulnerable he finds you, and in my experience ends up with you being followed and harassed. It never happens in a busy street. It never happens when you're with friends or your partner. It only ever happens when you're alone and no one is there to help you. The best outcome of the scenario is that he ends up just insulting you and saying what he really thinks ("you're fucking ugly" ). Worst case is... Worse.

When a man actually finds a woman attractive these days, they behave much better because they want to actually get with them or want the woman to think well of them - and they know a cat call isn't the way to do it nowadays.

If they're cat calling you nowadays, they want to hurt you or at least make you feel uncomfortable. It's not meant as a compliment.

Well there you go then. You were never subjected to that, so of course you think it was fine. Those of us who were, were utterly terrified at wolf whistling because we knew from experience there was every chance it would be followed up by a leery remark and others would join in.

I am older, it hasn’t changed.

I think women were conditioned to believe it was a compliment but really it was and still is about control, power and objectification.

So many women on this thread have mentioned that ‘back in the day’ they were children in school uniform when they were catcalled or mentioned it felt intimidating. That’s about power and control. Nothing has changed except it has become unacceptable.

The posters who have said they found it a compliment or that it didn’t bother really need to answer my question about whether they would feel the same way if a large group of men catcalled them on the street in close proximity. If it’s just a compliment why would it be different.

A couple of posts above yours a poster sats the men know full well there's no chance of an interaction or anything coming of it. There's a pretty wide spectrum of what women feel about this I think. If you are not someone who gets lots of attention and hit on in bars etc, it might actually be that a whistle would, whilst cringy in the moment, make someone feel a little bit good. Yes it's objectifying, in the sense that obviously it's based on looks alone but if we didn't care about that, why do so many women spend so much time and effort on it? It can't be "just for us" or people would make the same effort on a day in the office as for a first date. I agree that young girls will find this mortifying, scary even and they absolutely should not be whistling at children but I don't think that, for a grown woman, this ought to be something massively upsetting or met with such hatred as some seem to feel.

not Has said they were ‘massively upset’
They have said as they felt Intimidated and objectified. That’s just factual.
Massively upset is an odd take on women’s experiences.

I wonder how some of the 'what's the big deal' posters would feel if their own dad or partner or brother or son engaged in this type of behaviour? I mean, surely it wouldn't bother you, because it's 'harmless'?