To think that wolf whistling wasn't such a bad thing?

[NovemberMorn]

Joanna Lumley has just given an interview in which she says..."I never minded wolf whistling, I always thought it was tremendous".

She also said... "I think we were a little bit tougher then. Somebody put their hand on your leg, you didn’t feel affronted and report it. You’d give them a slap.”

Do you think she is right?

Pressed send by accident. Meant to say:

You think that a 40 something bloke on a roofing shift wolf whistles an 18 year old girl he doesn't know, along with his colleagues, as part of the 'dance of human attraction' Not because they are objectifying her?

These threads always follow the same pattern. Always end up with posters being nasty to each other. Each ‘side’ disbelieving the other’s experience.

I remember feeling cringe if it happened and cringe if it didn't. How messed up is that! The well of male and female relations does seems to have become a bit poisoned, though.

And of course they didn't know me. Obviously they weren't cat calling my personality.
But then I guess I'd equally objectify almost every single man I'd stare at in a bar, if that's what we are calling it. You look at someone you're attracted to, you try to get their attention, you talk, if you like their personality too then maybe something comes of it. I don't think it's objectification, it's just part of the dance of human attraction.

There's a fundamental flaw in this argument.
The very nature of cat calling means it never progresses to talking and finding out if they like our personality.
Women who are cat called don't stop and have a conversation with the men doing it and the men certainly don't expect that to happen.
It is ONLY about objectification because it's based on looks alone.

You're kidding yourself if you think is anything else.

I found it upsetting and intimidating to be wolf whistled etc as a young girl/woman.
My dd (20s) hates it.

I don't believe that objectification is a good thing, it's dehumanising.

Do you feel differently now you're older? I just find it really difficult to understand how women would see the attention of these types as a compliment. I remember even when we were young, my friends and I would feel very put out at the idea these horrible, crude older men would have the audacity to think they had a chance of our attention. All the issues of sexism and objectification aside, I've always thought it was actually insulting in "Are you kidding me..?" type way.

It wasn't my argument. Merely my experience. I'm afraid I don't give you permission to re write my experience to fit your narrative. I wasn't intimidated by it.

Overall I'm glad it's not such a thing anymore as so many found it so unpleasant. I didn't, that's all.

Nighty night!

You did say how you felt which is why I responded.
Am I not allowed I respond?

Bravo you for not giving Wolf Whistles a seconds thought, you are so cool.

It wasn't my argument. Merely my experience. I'm afraid I don't give you permission to re write my experience to fit your narrative. I wasn't intimidated by it.

But I didn't do that.
You compared seeing an attractive man in a bar, getting his attention and talking to him with a man catcalling a woman.
I simply pointed out they aren't the same. Because they aren't.

I didn't say you had to be intimidated about it being catcalled or ask you to change the narrative about your experiences. It wasn't commenting on your experiences at all! 😂

I feel a bit sorry reading the thread that there are woman who thought/think being groped or commented on was/is a marker of how attractive they were or their worth. I’m not sure how that narrative holds and doesn’t feel a bit less certain hearing stories about how - in all likelihood the exact same men - made comments to children or were intimidating to other woman, or was a precursor to assault.

Im not trying to change anyone’s view but I do find it odd that hearing that doesn’t give pause for thought.

1. You can't decide it was harmless for every other woman/girl.

1. You have no idea what those men did or didn't do outside of that 1 minute interaction.

I think they think that they were lucky enough to get the nice, respectable pervs men who were merely expressing appreciation for their superior beauty, whereas we sadly got the obviously very tiny minority of wrong’uns… whereas like you say, chances are the same men whistling at them were the ones whistling at kids in school uniform.

Even if you found it flattering.. with these kind of things we need a hard line on it, so none of it is acceptable. Because if you say "well X is okay, but Y is a bit unacceptable and inappropriate" that gives an unclear message, and there's a lot of both thick men in the world, and men who aren't thick but will always push boundaries.
It all needs to go in the bin

Yes this ‘meetoo’ business has gone to far. Let’s bring back Page 3, Benny Hill and Jimmy Saville whilst we’re at it…

I think Joanna Lumley wore out her welcome years ago when she declared herself Boris Johnson’s best mate and got him to spaff millions or pounds of taxpayers money up the wall for a garden bridge which was never built.

You have to pick sense out of nonsense with her. She’s a proper ‘pick-me’ and no friend of women.

I have high self esteem in all areas, absolutely nothing to do with that at all. It's such a fleeting moment, it really doesn't matter.

Maybe you just liked the validation then? In a ‘see, I knew I was gorgeous’ kind of way?

I used to bloody hate it. It could be intimidating, especially if you walked past something like a building site.

I haven't given it much headspace until this thread, but in general it was builders in their twenties, I was in my twenties and it was a bit of a laugh before getting on the tube.
I wouldn't have liked it if they'd been on the same level, but I never had that experience. These ones were usually two storeys above me

I was first wolf whistled when I was 13. I was alone and it made me feel quite scared and awkward. Disagree with what JL said.

Most women of a certain age would have been whistled at years ago.
For me it was nothing to bother about, I was neither flattered or insulted, it just wasnt important to me.

Social acceptance of how men behave towards woman has changed, so are women treated with any more respect nowadays?
I don't think so.

In that case I’m very sorry about whatever you experienced that caused you to have such low self worth

Worked beside a building site and got wolf whistled all the time, never thought much of it to he honest, I was in my 20s, I'm invisible now....we spoke about this and my daughter was horrified, that this happened, she was outraged on my behalf😔

Wah? I just gave my experience and probably 100s of women in the 80s, you don't have to feel sorry for me, honestly but thanks for your conern🤣

Doubt it, we didn't think we were georgous then, it was just a thing men did, majority didn't give it a thought to be honest

Reading through the thread, time and time again, some women have used a superior tone and tried to talk down to the posters who were not offended.
Very odd.