To think that wolf whistling wasn't such a bad thing?

[NovemberMorn]

Joanna Lumley has just given an interview in which she says..."I never minded wolf whistling, I always thought it was tremendous".

She also said... "I think we were a little bit tougher then. Somebody put their hand on your leg, you didn’t feel affronted and report it. You’d give them a slap.”

Do you think she is right?

I stopped reading at the word 'dense'.

It isn't perfect but it's better. Laws have changed, attitudes have changed.

I certainly wouldn't want to go back to a time where it was legal for a man to rape his wife.

My friend and I used to get wolf whistles we we waiting for the bus. (Think there was an army base nearby).
we were ELEVEN and TWELVE, waiting for out school bus how. It scared us, we were the only girls at quite a remote bus top, minding minding your own business while waiting for the school bus.
it’s only now I can really see how flipping innapriate it was!

@PigInAHouse

I don’t think I ever told anyone at the time to be fair, I was embarrassed and ashamed.

Awful isn't it.

I was really upset once and wouldn't tell my mum why and when she finally got me to speak to her about it, I was mortified and so upset because a man in a car had pulled over next to me walking home from football practice in my kit and just said 'slag' at me then driven off.

I remember being so incredibly upset and confused because on one level I knew he must just have been an awful predatory person but on another level it was so bizarre that I thought surely I did something to make him say that.

Needless to say, I didn't. And I was probably 12 or 13.

And still some people want to take us back to an era when sexual harrassment, assault etc was seen as acceptable

I thought I must have been doing something ‘wrong’, that I was asking for it. I had no choice but to walk that way to school and back, and I was petrified but didn’t dare tell anyone.

Quite some time prior, surely.

@NovemberMorn

And do you think women/girls are viewed differently today. Thousands can be groomed and raped and disbelieved when they have the courage to speak out....we have come so far in the last 30 years.🙄

So you think that people shouldn't consider wolf whistling sexual harassment because women suffer far worse sexual harassment?

This thread reads like all those old threads journalists used to make here, where they purposely made comments to cause upset just so they can use quotes from sexually harassed/assaulted women to pad out a badly written article tbh. Was weird then, is weird now.
But anyway, sexual harassment is wrong, pretending it's flattering is dumb, and tricking women in to talking about being sexually harassed is disgusting.

100%.

'Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them'.

If it is really true that some men suffer agonies of fear that prevent them from looking at women when out & about, I'm afraid my heart doesn't bleed. I had far too much harassment from men over the years to ever consider it harmless or a 'compliment'.

I am old enough to remember the time back in the '70s when it was considered to be 'harmless fun' but it never was either for me. The first time I was groped when we were at a young people's party, I was 11 and still at primary school. No I didn't take it as a compliment.

JL reveals herself as an idiot whenever she utters her own words instead of someone else's. She should just stick to acting.

I'm sorry that happened to you, but I really don't think creeps like that would be encouraged or discouraged, that wolf whistling is acceptable or not in todays society.
No matter how much education goes on, there will always be awful human beings who get their kicks out of making others feel worthless.

To be fair, if you get off on being objectified by some hairy arsed hod carrier then crack on. What I find really distasteful is your obvious amusement that it also happens to children.

Yay let’s make it acceptable for men to objectify women and make us feel awkward and embarrassed when we’re walking along minding our own business.

Let’s bring back Benny Hill and Love Thy Neighbour while we’re at it.

I'm sorry you experienced that, it's truly awful. Unfortunately you are not alone. 1 in 4 women will be raped in their life time.
750,000 women were assaulted or raped by men in the UK in 2023 alone.

I am not young myself but even back in the day my friends and I hated it. Why did I hate wolf whistling?

Mostly I felt an overwhelming sense of being objectified, not as a person but as a thing. Maybe I had a innate understanding that the men didn't care what I looked like, they wanted to have control and attention from any female, it was about them. I never felt it was personally about me, it was about them and their control, power and the fact they were up high added to that power. The problem is rape is also about control, objectification and power.

If you could look back at yourself as a young women and watch a video of one of your experiences of wolf whistling/heckling viewing yourself as a very young woman and the men pack like you might see the dynamic in a different light.

I wonder if men were posed this question what they'd say. Would they mind if women whistled at them?

Men tend not to get the affirmation that women do from what I can tell.

@NovemberMorn

A genuine question for you - do you believe that men who wolf whistle women genuinely believe that the woman will definitely be flattered?

And another one, do you believe that most men who wolf whistle women will stop doing completely (not just to the specific woman) if a woman ever looks uncomfortable, upset or intimidated, as they hadn't realised it might make women feel that way and are upset that they might have been the cause of her feeling that way?

Women are not raping men and do not pose the same threat to men as men do to women.

You can not turn this on it's head

The problem with reversing this specific situation is that there is such a huge imbalance in the threat level between the sexes.

Statistically, it's overwhelmingly more likely that a man is a threat to a woman than vice versa.

So a woman is much more likely to feel frightened / intimidated / upset by being singled out by a male stranger who is making a noise to let her know he is looking at her.

But don’t you see it’s all part of the same culture? The fact that it’s ok to objectivity and comment upon people’s bodies?
If wolf whistling is seen as acceptable, the next step is pushing boundaries… ‘oh but she looks 16, I never realised she was underage’.

1 in 4 women are raped in their lifetime.

750,000 women were sexually assaulted or raped in the UK by men in 2023

How is that a small minority. Come on!!

Men aren't scared of women though.

And I imagine a decent percentage of them would take the whistle as permission to go and harass the woman, or assault her, or rape her, and then use the whistle as evidence in court that she was asking for it, if it even got as far as court.

Never liked Joanna Lumley, now I know why!

I think today, men my sons age for eg, would think a man who wolf whistled was completely out of order.
Back in the day when it was the norm, I doubt they even thought about it. Probably did it through boredom, they saw what they presumed to be a nice looking woman, and they whistled.
Would they muse on whether she was embarrassed or intimidated....I honestly doubt it.

Those who are flattered, genuinely can I ask why? Is a man who whistles at women desirable in your eyes? Do you have some sort of hot cheeky chappie fantasy builder in mind, who is so overcome by your gorgeousness he can't help expressing his admiration? Or do you know he's just Joe (below) Average, probably married but with a wandering eye, a bit thick and unaware of what's acceptable? If you do know this, why is the fact that such a poor specimen may find you sufficiently attractive to spare you a seconds attention on a dull day something to be flattered by?

It is interesting. Because my experience of it just never felt to me like yours did to you. To me, it felt like- 'I have something that you want, and it's up to me whether I give it to you or not, and I won't!'
I do wonder if watching a video back now I would feel different.
I can truly say though, it was always the quiet ones that I found dangerous. The brashness of a cat call just never felt threatening to me. Being followed surreptitiously always terrified me, and on the occasion of serious trouble it was truly opportunistic. There wasn't cat calling.