I’m not too sure what I’m hoping to gain from posting anything here, I think I’d just like some perspective that I’m not going insane.
My partner and I have been together 4.5 years. We have a 3 year old and I am 4.5 months pregnant with our second.
I work part time, 2.5 days (having given up a very well paid full time role to have our child). I look after our child 1 day a week one of of my 2 weekdays off, and the other day she is at nursery and the day is dedicated to housework / chores / “working for the family”.
I am responsible for all the housework in the house, laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping, making beds, organising bills, and do the vast majority of the care for our child. I do bedtimes every evening, only I take her to and pick her up from childcare. I take her to her classes on the weekend. I make and clean up all her meals. (Please don’t mistake that as me doing that begrudgingly. I adore her - just for an idea of how domestic things are split.)
2/3 of my wage are for nursery fees and our family car, house insurance and minor bills which totals around £1200. The remainder is for my personal bills (phone etc). Our mortgage, utility bills, council tax, food shopping and holidays and paid for by my partner. He owns his own business and earns around 6 times my income.
Our Relationship is generally great, but occasionally come these outbursts which feel like a complete character assassination. I am called insults, lazy, sworn at, and a liar for lying about the amount of jobs / chores I am completing on my day of work for the family.
He doesn’t sleep in the same bed as me anymore, and has recently made comments (when going through my first trimester - rough!) that I’ve let myself go and I need to make more of an effort with myself.
i dedicate every hour of my Friday to cleaning our sizeable home, car, and doing all the invisible workload.
This evening before bed he asked what I’d done all day. He said I was a liar and nothing had been done, that I was watching tv or sleeping (I wish!).
In reality I’d take some bits over to a poorly relative on my way home from the nursery drop. Cleaned out our car and cleaned all apholstery. Cleaned the house and bathrooms. Hoovers the stairs, cleaned the windows, 2 laundry loads. All bedrooms and done a food shop, between the hours of 9:30-3:30.
picked our child up and of course played and made her dinner. He arrived home maybe 2 hours later to a home cooked meal.
i can provide timestamps and pictures of things I’d done but he’s says he’s not interested, that I’m lazy and I’m a liar.
Am I deluded? Am I lazy? I feel like I’m starting to go crazy and that I need to document my day as proof to him. I have never ever given him a reason not to trust me and I don’t understand any of this.
please help me