To think a disproportionate number of MN posters have failed marriages?

[HamptonPlace]

Not trying to be mean, but that is not my lived experience with my friends, family, (of whom i have plenty...) could count on the fingers of (less than 1 hand). 44 yo btw.... AIBU MNers are representative, AINBU it's not a representative cross cut of society?

Yeah, because all parents who send their children to private school do it for their image/networking opportunities. Is that the mums too, or just the dads?

Meh , I have found the school playground quite useful for networking (both state and private, mine are in a mixture). I am sure I am not the only one

Yes. I have quite a few female friends who can't quite work out when to do it! First it was difficult logistics primary aged, then their dc were settling in to secondary, then they couldn't rock the boat for gcse or alevels, and now one friend whose dc is at uni, doesn't want to make it look obvious!

Been happily married to DH for 37 year since I was 17, I do not post about it, what is there to say😁

@madamweb I don't think so as we all work in very different fields. I'd be fairly loathe to mix business with the parents if my kids' friends anyway.

And that’s the only reason you picked your child’s school?

We all base our opinions on our own experience @PigInAHouse . Mine, based on living in a very posh area with a posh private school, is that yes, the private school is mostly about image. I'm sure it's not the case for all.

Ah, I guess personally knowing all the parents at the school means you have a far better idea about their motives than I do, so apologies.

Indeed. No problem.

I agree it’s down to compromise, but it’s luck that someone you’ve met is willing and wants to comprise and stay with you and make it work. Not everyone has a partner that will do that so that so it leads to resentment and ultimately divorce.

Definitely not all down to luck but there is luck involved in finding the person willing to compromise in that way with you.

I wouldn't have married if divorce weren't an option.

In fact, when my sister had a wobble before her wedding, I assured her that divorce was always an option.

Using terms like "failed" doesn't help people who are going through something difficult. "Ended" is much better. Though in Civil Partnerships, it's "Dissolved" which seems like an extreme way to deal with things.

Because marriage isn't a test that is success/fail. My marriage ended because we both decided we were better off not married. It didn't fail, because that implies something negative, and it wasn't negative.

"Failed" marriages?

Lots to unpack there...

'Failed' is also a dangerous word to use because of all the vulnerable low confidence low self esteem women who are stuck in abusive marriages. Casually throwing around failure/success as adjectives for marriage, means they are frightened of 'yet another' failure. It essentially traps them.

As PP have pointed out - why on earth would anyone start a thread to say "I'm married, no major problems here"? By definition people posting for support have a problem to discuss.

It's not a sample of the population....just like social media isn't representative of people's day to day lives.

Re the term 'Failed marriage'

I read the responses to my post saying that I couldn't see the problem with the term failed marriage and I have to agree that it's better say someone's marriage has ended or something similar and avoid the word 'failed'. It does sound better.