To continue calling DD by the name I gave her

[bannsise]

My DD is 22, her first name is Isabella, I chose the name as I love it and think it’s very pretty. Since she was little I’d always call her Isabella or Bella, her dad who I wasn’t with called her “Isa” (ee-sa).
As a teen she insisted I didn’t call her Bella, I happily just used Isabella.
Now she is insisting I call her Isa, she says she doesn’t like Isabella, no one apart from me has called her it in 10+ years. She also complains I say it wrong anyway (her dad is European and pronounces it ee-sa-bell-a, I say is-a-bell-a). I replied that I can’t say her name wrong as I picked it!!

AIBU to say I will continue to call her Isabella (with the English pronunciation) and not by Isa as that isn’t the name I chose for her and I don’t like it.

Sorry, but again; I don't have an eidetic memory. You seem to expect others to but can't remember your own posts. I'm afraid I can't help you there - though I note you've discovered the word "please" this time rather than stroppy demands.

@BMW6 I agree with this. I think at the age of 22 the DD knows what she wants, and while she might even change her mind further down the line - it's just not worth falling out over. Just the stretching of a vowel of all things.

Besides, if the OP is in the UK and the DD in Italy, I'd really not recommend marring the time they do spend together arguing over a name.

If you can't remember it, how can you understand why it was deleted, like you said?

@tobee - as I said earlier, I have experienced this from both sides - my mum digging her heels in and refusing to call me by my choice of a shortened form of my name, because she preferred the name she had chosen for me, and my son choosing to use a shortened form of his name when I preferred the full name we had given him.

I felt that my mum was not respecting my choice, or me as an adult, and this did impact my relationship with her (it wasn’t the only thing, by any means, but it didn’t help). Even when she did decide to use the name I wanted, she made it abundantly clear how difficult it was for her, which rubbed me up the wrong way.

As a consequence, when ds1 decided to use the shortened form of his name, I accepted it was his choice, and started using it without complaint. My relationship with him mattered so much more than my feelings about his name. It felt a bit odd at first, but I adapted, and now it feels perfectly right and natural - it is part of his identity, and I am happy about it.

I can remember the gist of it and I'm not repeating it; it was deleted for a reason. I certainly can't remember details. I'm afraid your monologue didn't have me gripped.

This is the last time I'm responding to you now, as I get the impression you're just desperate for an argument. You won't get it from me. Have a delightful day.

Ah yes, of course. You can remember enough of it to smear me but not enough to be able to say a single word of what it was.

How convenient!

Oh ffs. Why is it Giddy's job to remember what you said? MN clearly thought it broke the rules, so if you can't bloody remember then go and ask them!

I am probably being stupid but I cant tell the difference from the OP between

ee-sa-bell-a
is-a-bell-a

Eesa and is-a is the same - or are you calling her ISA like the savings?

Isa as in Eesa is common not only in Italy, but Spain and Portugal, was actually a short for Marisa

Isa would be a short ‘I’ sound, and Eesa a long ‘ee’ sound.

Eesa and is-a is the same

No, because one starts with the sound “ee” and one with “is”. Unless you pronounce “is” like “ees” in your accent?

My understanding is that:

Eesabella (Italian version) is the same pronunciation as Isabela from Encanto. First part rhymes with Lisa.

Isabella (English version) is how Ross/Rachel pronounce Isabella Rossalini in Friends 😆 first part rhymes with fizz.

It's not her job, I asked her because she said she could remember. Thanks for your patience.

I would try to remember but it is difficult when you have known someone all their lives by another name. Half the time DDs get called the cats' or dog's name.

My DM is about the only person who uses my full name all the time. She is allowed to as she is my mum.

@ForZanyAquaViewer Sorry for whitesplaining.

Thanks. In my accent i say is as in "this house is big" basically the same as ees

Isnt ‘ees’ al longer ‘ee’ sound, as in ‘feet’?

I am lost!
Honestly been here 25 years and I do think I 'pass' most of the time, but i guess not... I do better than the French in my office though 😅

Accents are a funny thing. But even my husband says i do the eeeee wrong as he gets deliberately confused between my bean and been and bin - but that is him being obtuse

That poster is not smearing you! We can all see that you had a comment deleted. I didn't see what it was so I don't know what it was but you could potentially contact MN and they could tell you.

This doesn’t have an ees sound in my accent @TinyTear?

The ‘Is’ in the British version of Isabella rhymes with Fizz as pp said.

Thanks @HowwillIgetyoualone . I will just go through life getting confused with ees, is, bean, been and bin

But allow me to derail and at least I don't say Soar and Sore are homophones like my kids primary school tried to... with rhotic Scottish accents they do not sound the same

Oh dear…actually I have a rhotic accent too but sore and soar sound the same to me 😂
I love different accents and dialect.

We met at a personal-essay writing class in 2007.

Absolutely crying with laughter, this explains the self-centred pontificating.

I'm not going to ask you how long you lived in the US because you're being so awful to me that I don't trust you now to give an honest answer.

She's been very patient and polite to you all things considered, and in return, after saying something rude enough that Mumsnet considered it deletable, you're now implying she's a liar just because she disagrees with you.

You need to seriously check yourself.

I was wrong, just checked the school whatsapp as I got the words wrong - they were trying to say SAW and SORE sound the same!

Incidentally, my father was a different nationality to my mother. I never lived in his home country, but have visited many times. In no way do I consider myself to be that nationality, even though I recognise I have ancestry from there.

If I had ever said to my father that I would be embarrassed to be considered X nationality, I think he would be capable of understanding that it's because that nation has a deep history of racism (which he also saw and objected strongly to himself) and because the politicians of the country have been particularly dick-headed in the last few years. Even my sibling, who has lived there for about the same amount of time as he lived in our home country and who has citizenship, identifies with his original nationality.

It's a political statement, not a personal insult.

Eessabella
Izzabella
Issabella
Itzabella

All incorrect spellings of Isabella, but all potential and equally correct pronunciations, depending on exactly where you put the emphasis and whether you pronounce S as Z and where you are from.

I would always try to use whichever variant an individual indicates they preferred. My young relative with the same name prefers Whizz!

I think its "photographic" memory, not "eidetic"

as you were