To wonder why it feels like we have no money?

[Wheredoesitgo]

DH and I earn well between us. We aren’t mega wealthy or even close but we should be very comfortable and I just feel like we aren’t.

I just feel like we have no money? DH is self employed and had a tough few months last year and the tax return coming up isn’t helping but even month to month my earnings just seem to disappear with not a lot to show for it…

Would love to go away (2 primary school aged DC) but a week in Spain in July (just before school holidays by a few days to try and reduce the pride a bit!) is coming in at around £1100 plus each for a week AI (we spend less this way with the kids than self catering usually as they are fussy). They need spring/summer wardrobes but feel like I can’t really buy new and can only afford bundles on Vinted which I never find exactly what I want.

I dread the food shop as there’s just no way to get it cheaper.

I’d love some new boots but can’t justify the cost.

As I said we earn quite well so it just seems crazy to me that things feel so tight - anyone else in the same boat?!

You need to track every penny for a month. That will clearly show where the money is going. If your budget was anything like mine, it's food 🍔 I underbudgeted for a long time.

It's a learning curve but having your holiday as a goal will motivate you. When the kids were young we used to go abroad every second year. Definitely made it a bit more affordable.

@PetulantWummin it just feels like things add up so quickly! Especially with the DC! Swimming lessons, clothes the odd treat!

I think I’ve been frivolous for a long time to be honest. Not terribly so but enough that now I’ve actually sat and pulled a budget together I’m shocked at the cost of things!

If you both earn well and feel like you have no money then you are likely living beyond your means.

you need to do a full inventory of all your spending, bills etc and income.

then you will see where you are over spending or see what and why your wages are being eaten up.

then you can look at ways to cut back on things that you decide are not essentials or strong wants (if those are affordable) and use the money saved in other ways.

people spend in tiny ways constantly that mean money just disappears.

others buy big houses new cars big holidays or finest food brands etc but don’t see those things as luxury spending where as others buy less fancy or smaller but that leaves them with surplus money to spend on treats

It’s well worth sitting down and going through the last couple of months spend line by line.

Including fishing out what the actual things were on Vinted / PayPal purchases.

That can easily shed a light. A few ‘let’s get lunch while we’re out’ easily adds up to several hundred a month.

in February, could you put £100 cash in an envelope and lock all the cards away and live off the freezer and the cupboards. There is an app called supercook where you put all your food items on it and it gives you an array of meals.

write down all your wants/thoughts in a book, and perhaps sell a few unwanted bits on your preferred choice of site. I use eBay they have changed the fee structure now and it feels you get a little more now.

in March when cold turkey is over you will be amazed.

To add it really can be the little things.

my colleague did it last year and worked out she was spending hundreds of pounds a year on takeaway coffee but on the surface she was only spend 1-3 pounds at a time.

she now takes in from home and puts the equivalent spend in a jar. Her last update was there was 184 pound in the jar!

How much do you earn?

I genuinely think it’s expectations have changed. When you were a child, did you have a new spring/summer wardrobe and AI holidays abroad?

It depends what you mean by 'you both earn well' and what your outgoings are.

I'm a single parent on 30k a year and I manage very well. I'm in the NE of England, shop at Waitrose and have a holiday with DD once a year. I don't have to worry about money, but I also don't have much in savings. I don't have any debt, either and don't use credit cards. I'm not paying thousands in rent or mortgage however, but I look at every penny I spend (I know couples who are paying £60 each per month for a gym they never go to for example)

School costs a lot OP. Just the odd book day, school trip etc for the 2 of them will cost you a lot , that's without their lunches , school uniform etc
Keep a record of everything OP .
You will soon see where the money goes .

What’s your income and where in the country do you live?

Hi
I live alone and should be OK and wasn't.
I got the free budget person in as a third party looking in to help me.

I wanted a weekly figure I could spend.

It was surprisingly shocking what I could save by stopping Costa alone ...

Get an outsider to look at your budget ..look at hubby's daily spending and yours etc

I use a pen and paper which I know is old fashioned now!
I get my bank account up so I can see payments and direct debits

Firstly all direct debits and commitments - so must pay stuff monthly
Then food and fuel - what you actually spend, not what you think you spend
Savings (not that I have any)
Budget for stuff like mot, service, hair cuts etc, anything you don't pay/do monthly

Gives you a much better idea of what's actually spent and what's left over and I find it more visible somehow with writing it down

We are very average pro rata earners. DP is FT, I do 20 hours.

I currently have access to £3.48, which is the last dregs of my overdraft facility. My own fault though, I splurged and treated myself to TWO pairs of jeans at Tesco a few weeks ago, when the crotch split on my only pair 😒

I'm genuinely worried about running out of petrol before payday on Friday, because I need the car for work...

I hear you. Energy costs are so high now and food is soo expensive.

Things have gone up a looot in the past few years. If your income hasn't increased by the same amount, you'll feel worse off. Can be the case even when you're earning what used to feel like a good income not so long ago.

I have this issue because I'm living in the past with prices and wages. We earn well and we are comfortable but I can never believe how little (plenty) we have left at the end of the month. In my mind we should be able to live on one wage.

I dont have the motivation to budget because we live well within our means and don't have expensive tastes but I did spend a bit of time writing down the fixed regular bills and they were one wage alone! So food, holidays, replacing stuff and daily spending all comes out of the other.

Trying to answer everyone…

Mortgage is v high. We have a low-ish term and then the interest rates meant our monthly mortgage went up around £700 per month when our fixed term ended!

Between us, around £130k as an estimate. Self employment skews this a little, so some months more some less. Overall, if contracting is going well it should be closer to £160k ish but DH had a rubbish few months last year.

We live in a relatively expensive part of the country but not wildly. About an hour outside of London, countryside. I think we’d be considered ‘east of England’ probably borderline SE but certainly not as pricey as places like say Hertfordshire or Essex closer to London.

we actually got a mortgage 25% less than we were offered which I am so glad about now!

I didn’t go abroad at all as a child, I’m from a very working class family in the midlands and we didn’t have the luxury of flying anyway. Once a year in my grandparents camper van was it for us! I guess I just want to give my kids more than I had…

gosh don’t the kids add up. We went to a trampoline place the other weekend at it was £50 all in by the time you added drinks and sandwich!

You probably don't earn as 'well' as you think OP.

If you have kids and a combined household income less than about 80-90k, you aren't going to be that comfortable, especially if you expect to be able to afford the following:

Premium leased cars (merc, audi etc)
AI holiday abroad every year
Spending on hobbies/leisure
Meals out/takeaways fairly regularly
House reno/ latest decor

Everyone seems to take the above as just 'normal' now and tbh expected but it's not, it's a luxury lifestyle many can't afford.

@ChangingHistory i think this is my problem. My salary pre kids would have been amazing but I think with inflation, minimum wage increases etc whilst it’s above the UK average it’s not what it once was, if that makes sense.

@Taigabread this is a very good point! We only have one car as a family to save costs, but it is £400 a month on lease! So still more than families with 2 runaround type cars I suspect.

I think the thing is, we could afford the holidays etc but the prices are just going up quicker than wages are.

If you list your net income and outgoings, I am sure posters will be able to identify savings and they all add up!

So holidays say have gone up 25%, but our income certainly hasn’t which is why I guess comparatively it feels more and more expensive

Your other issue OP is that due to partners self employment you don't realistically know what your income is - and it sounds like you tend to assume it's the high end, rather than planning your spending as if it's the low end, which is one you need to do. Then if he does better than expected and earns more? It's a bonus

@Taigabread yeah I have budgeted my own income meticulously last month and managed it since but you’re right I don’t really have a full grasp of DHs finances