The brainlessness of an English Tutor. Fuming

[crazymomma93]

Long time lurker, please bear with me.
My DD12 has been having some issues with her reading book. It has been making her feel uncomfortable, from the Genre and style of writing. So I have looked into it, got a jist of the book, she has pointed out some bits that made her uneasy and I looked up the age rating which was 14+. Now typically if you knew me, you would know I am not "that Mom" but I emailed her Form Tutor to ask if there was an alternative. Tutor emailed back after talking to English dept and DD dosn't need to read the book any longer, she can bring in her own. No problem. My DD has just told me she spoke with her own English Tutor, the day before I sent the email to tell her Form Tutor. After listening to DD, English Tutor responds "it's just words"
ITS JUST WORDS? Sorry is that not pretty much the Tutors whole career, teaching English?
I need calming because I am close to emailing said teacher calling her a c**t, because, you know "it's just words". See how her feelings are when she reads something that makes her uncomfortable.
My DD turned to her to ask because the book was making her uneasy and that is the response. What about children who get verbally bullied? Where is this Womans morals. AIBU?

We didn't read scary or upsetting books? Really, never? From 12-18 no The Chrysalids, Jane Eyre, Village of the Damned, Picture of Dorian Grey, Z for Zachariah? You missed out.

I don't think any of those books are anywhere near the sort of thing aimed at children today.

I had this same thought! Hardly the Great Literature of our language...

I don’t think your being unreasonable they also tend to age down in books when they need to analyse and critique it.

Why is everyone on here insane tonight ?

What a massive fuss and over reaction.
She didn’t want to read the book as it upset her. She now doesn’t have to. Problem solved.

Teacher may have been a bit back handed but they are correct. It is only a book - no need to dwell on it further.

As I said to the other poster, most of those books are a walk in the park compared with some of the books aimed at kids today.

I didn't find Jane Eyre or the Picture of Dorian Grey upsetting at 14 though. When did you read them?

The child is 12....
There is quite a big difference between 12 and 16...

But you said YOU didn’t read scary or upsetting books. So what did they find for you to read?

@Gwenhwyfar - that sounds like Z is for Zachariah. We had to read that too!

I loved Z for Zachariah. The film is truly terrible though.

Oh that's ok then, to hell with the child's feelings.

I think maybe re-read my posts? And which Zola is upsetting?

@CharlotteByrde I am sorry if my post came across as a bit sarcastic - I went back to edit but was too late. So the gist I meant, but I should have worded it better, sorry.

I'm an English teacher, born in the late 70s/ early 80s. I read some classics ,but Stephen King et al more, becausethey were much more interesting to me at that age.

And of course, flowers in the attic on the school yard at 13. Thank you, Emma's nan.

I am eternally grateful for the Jean m auel book, valley of the horses, because that was the kind of sex I expected to get when I eventually started having it. It made me expect better, which definitely helped me sort the wheat from the chaff.

I’m an English teacher.

Difficult themes can be explored in literature they are “just words”. No one is actually hurt, or killed. They are words - they can be read, discussed and put away with no damage to anyone.

That’s why they are so powerful and beautiful. They allow us to experience all sorts of things at a safe distance because we can stop the experience entirely simply by stopping reading.

Students need to be challenged by what they read.

@SmileEachDay which is exactly what the Op's daughter chose to do. Calling the teacher names seems so unnecessarily aggressive.

I had school friends who tried to get me to read flowers in the attic! Was never tempted though. At 13 we were still passing around Jinty and Tammy.

At 15 we passed around Jilly Cooper Octavia et al

I was more into books like those by Lynne Reid Taylor I think. Relationships and people.

Loved those early Jilly Cooper books too. And Poldark and Lynne Reid Banks L-Shaped Room.

Perhaps things are different in the US.

The teacher is right. Books are 'only words'. We decide how we react to them. I say that as teacher of English/English Literature. We close or open our minds to books often before we have opened the book. We can choose how we react to words in a book as we choose how we react to what people say.

If you choose to call the teacher a 'cunt', she could choose to be upset or choose to think your behaviour is pathetic, unprofessional and risible, not become upset and simply report you to the Headteacher and let them deal with you.

I think the point is, if the OP's daughter was reading a book from the school library for pleasure and she didn't like it, she just needed to swap, which she did. No need for rudeness from Mum.

You said in your post

We didn't read scary books or upsetting books. And not all parents allow their dc to watch awful stuff online, amazingly enough.

I’ve never read anything by Zola so can’t answer that bit. Another poster was talking about that author.

I completely agree. It’s also missing the point to think that “just words” is stupid.

At 13 I was absolutely reading Stephen King. Also the Pan horror anthologies, lots of Jack Vance, lots of Agatha Christie, Dorothy L Sayers, Rex Stout and Dick Francis. A real mix. My mental health is excellent, thanks. Handling potentially difficult themes is part of learning about literature. And learning about literature is and should be part of growing up. So you read the books as a parent, you discuss them with your children, you grow with them.

I found the Flowers in the Attic series very boring.

Oh god, I loved Dorothy Sayers at that age 😍

Well I've no idea how old you are, but there have always been TV shows aimed specifically at an 18+ audience, and you obviously would have watched some of those shows as a young child. I watched shows like South Park and Eurotrash at a young age. No harm done.