Things it took you far to long to work out (or admit)

[Slowontheup]

I'm so annoyed with myself for drinking so much (socially and more or less within normal UK limits but still far too much)

it made me bloated and fat. I used to deny this could possibly be the case and went to every exercise class going plus starved myself. It was the booze.

specifically and most irritating - it made my arms fat. I considered going to Brazil for expensive and risky arm surgery ffs. My arms are thin now and I'm in my 40s

i must have spent a bloody fortune. Also did many risky and undignified things in my 20s and lost many many items in taxis (more expense incurred)

maybe it's part of growing up but wish I'd limited it to 2 years instead of best part of 20!

what did you do that you wish you'd cottoned on to a bit blinking sooner?!

That it's ok to just do your hours at work and no more. I used to work so hard it made me sick, now I do what I'm paid to do and no more and really get under the skin of the work all the hours in the world people as I walk away from my desk at 530.

At work, you are a payroll ID. Nothing more, nothing less.

You might form individual friendships with other payroll ID’s, but this does not make the workplace your family.

So wonderfully put, so true!

@Hwi i think the original poster meant that it's about the ultra processing and the sugar, not the pesticides. Yes the world is contaminated with chemicals and yes it's dreadful but homemade granola is better than cornflakes if the homemade granola is made with whole foods (and hence no additives, you get the food in its original format i.e. the food matrix, as opposed to whatever TF cornflakes used to be)

Fantastic!

Disagree on this one!

"Be kind" - not a chance nowadays. Give an inch & you're expected to starve so others can eat. Nothing at all wrong with reciprocal kindness with your nearest & dearest but as a general rule for women, it's dangerous, it's self depreciation & I wish I'd realised this before my 50s.

Sitting down to put your socks on is fine but it's worth practising standing on one leg perhaps when cleaning your teeth. It's linked to longevity and a good thing to keep trying to do.

That other people's opinions don't matter, I really don't need to care if anyone else thinks I look stupid with leg warmers on as long as I like them and my legs are warm. That I don't need to try to make the men at work feel like they're in charge, they aren't, I am and if they don't like it that's their problem.

So many things! My parents taught me that talking about money is vulgar, in any setting. This led to my being exploited because I never talked about money with employers. This led me to being ripped off by acquaintances - as it was 'vulgar to remind them about the £20 they borrowed for a taxi'.

Also, my parents told me I could do anything I want for a degree, which led me to doing financially useless degrees and only making more or less normal money in my mid 30s. So no, you don't support your children in their aspirations regardless. You talk to them and paint the future - bedsits, lack of money, having to be a private tutor to supplement your income from your dream job, etc. etc.

I agree. I’ve been around a long time, and I genuinely believe the saying that if you sit long enough beside the river, the bodies of your enemies will float past.

Many years ago a colleague needed surgery on his back. He was in agony. The surgeon asked him what he was doing when the injury occurred. He replied that he was putting his socks on. The surgeon wanted to know if he was seated or standing/hopping on one leg. My colleague had been standing on one leg and the surgeon told him that he did multiple operations a year on people who had been putting their socks/pants on and that it was much safer to sit down. I have been sitting down to do this for the last 40 years.

As another poster said, it is good for your balance to be able/and to practise standing on one leg, just not when putting your socks/pants on.

I finally understood that my mother does not and never will love/like me. I have spent my 50+ years chasing her acceptance. I became a people pleasing pushover trying to appease her. A final act of betrayal from her truly woke me up. I am no contact with her now. She is 84 and I probably will not go to her funeral.

That taking artificial hormones to prevent pregnancy is actually a significant thing for your body and should be fully understood before you consent to it.

And that you don't have to take the man's surname when you marry

That paying for a trim every 6-8 weeks will not make your hair grow quicker or thicker!

I think that’s exactly it. People who behave very badly sometimes get so used to getting away with it that they convince themselves they’re invincible - and then they go too far and get caught/fuck up somehow. This happens often enough to support the idea of karma.

However, karma shouldn’t be one-way. If it’s not just about punishing bad behaviour, then there are a lot of lovely people who should be getting rewarded by the universe - and sadly I just don’t see many examples 🙁

That there’s only one Marley ghost in the original Christmas Carol…the Muppets deceived me.

That doing secretarial work as a "way in" to the arts/TV was an option only offered to women, and that actually those industries were dominated by men who had other routes in. This was a few years back, and secretarial work is no longer a thing, but I'm fairly sure that women are still being advised differently...

Cutting out all bread, potatoes and pasta in middle age has been good for me.

I occasionally have the odd bit (one roast potato with a roast dinner or the odd bit of sourdough with a cooked brekkie) but, like you with alcohol, don’t eat much. Helps the middle age spread.

Best live up a mountain then and live on fresh air.

Following this, that the Muppets Christmas Carol is the closest adaptation to the book that's been made.

That people love to load bullets for you to fire, and then they sit back and watch

That me stepping forward to help my mum will only make my siblings even more lazy and her more unappreciative of me

That my hair isnt the "rats tails" I was told as I was growing up. It is actually lovely and wavy and I dont have to keep straightening it

That tomatoes never live up to expectations 😁

That my children are really the only people I feel truly happy being with

My father was a worrier. He was always, always stressing enormously about something and it pervaded the whole house. I grew up thinking that it was normal to allow a worry to occupy your brain 24/7. These weren't worries like ' do I have cancer ?' they were normal, small , pointless worries that became huge but just didn't bloody matter . The worrying about what might happen ruined the run up to something and often ruined the day of something. It took me years to realise that worrying about whatever it was changed absolutely nothing about it and that , in the vast majority of cases, the thing you were worrying about didn't turn out that way anyway.

They don't call me WoolySnail for nothing 😉😆😂