Things it took you far to long to work out (or admit)

[Slowontheup]

I'm so annoyed with myself for drinking so much (socially and more or less within normal UK limits but still far too much)

it made me bloated and fat. I used to deny this could possibly be the case and went to every exercise class going plus starved myself. It was the booze.

specifically and most irritating - it made my arms fat. I considered going to Brazil for expensive and risky arm surgery ffs. My arms are thin now and I'm in my 40s

i must have spent a bloody fortune. Also did many risky and undignified things in my 20s and lost many many items in taxis (more expense incurred)

maybe it's part of growing up but wish I'd limited it to 2 years instead of best part of 20!

what did you do that you wish you'd cottoned on to a bit blinking sooner?!

I have seen a lot of assholes get their comeuppance though in the end so maybe karma does exist, I like to think it does but really I just think these particular assholes took their behaviour a step to far and caused their own downfall 😂

This is such a good one. Why does it take us so long to learn this. And even then to still do it. I think for me the key point is most people don't actually want it. I still do it and want to zip my mouth up.

I've only just realised at 50 that working hard doesn't always pay, and it's ok to take your foot off the gas and relax.

Darn those "you can have it all" advocates I took it literally and now I'm very tired!

Rather than learning how to bake, I should have focussed on main meals first. You can't survive on cake! Takes me so long to plan and then cook for the family.

That Vyvyan from the Young ones was played by Ade Edmunson. Like in the past couple of months I realised. The head piercings and ginger hair just camouflaged it for me.

That elders aren't always betters and they don't automatically deserve respect. That actually, I don't owe my employer more than a fair day's work for a fair day's pay. That the reason I've never fitted in is because I was brought up not to.

You don’t have to make friends with everyone. Quiet courtesy is fine.

Stand up for yourself firmly the very first time someone steps over the line. They’ll pretend you overreacted & you might feel embarrassed doing it but they’ll know not to do it again & it will go a long way to preventing a long term bullying situation,

The only people who really matter are your children.

That it's ok to be single!

Just recently found out that your inner lips (labia minora) appear in puberty, and then just disappear during menopause.

And it's true. I checked!

It took me waaay too long to work out that romantic relationships are hugely overrated and can only make you happy for a short time. And that most (not all men) are a bit shit and in most instances you are better off on your own.

I could have saved myself a huge amount of pain and time if I had known this in my 20s and 30s. And achieved a lot more.

That fasting plus massively reducing white bread and pasta in exchange for complex carbs was the only way to shift weight after 40 without loads of exercise and more importantly to help increase my energy levels. Increased protein too.

And self care. Not feeling guilty about putting myself first sometimes.

Parents don't always love their children, no matter how much they declare that they do.

Same!

That exDP who is an alcoholic will never stop drinking, despite the promises, apologies, declarations of turning his life around.

Would have saved me alot of tears and trauma had I known sooner that drink is (and always will be) his first love.

Very sad all around.

That it's fine to say no to stuff you don't want to do, just because you think you should.

That the joint pain, weird symptoms, constant tiredness and endless UTIs were because I was chock full of oxalates.

Once dumped and with an awareness of oxalate in food, my life has improved by magnitudes.

That the diet that works for most people during the menopause doesn't really work for me because cutting out bread and cereals is pretty pointless when your a poor celiac who doesn't eat bread or cereals or breakfast or lunch for the most part 🤔

You really should keep trying to do it standing up, it's fantastic to keep your balance as you age.

That people lie so casually, even people who love you - or are supposed to.
That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

Ditto tubes of tomato purée.

I spent more than 40 years looking for something to pierce them with!

That you don't have to please all of the people all of the time .
If something doesn't work for you don't do it .
At work , you don't have to do it all , just do enough .

That the saying ‘this too will pass’ is very true and useful when you are feeling so low and believing things will never change. They will.
That all this accumulation of wealth which we are all led to believe is the way to be successful in this world is nonsense and does not make you happy. It may appear to briefly but not in the long run. Make good memories instead.
That cats are awesome and the more you have, the better life is.

Keep doing this for as long as you can! (Safely). It maintains your balance reactions and flexibility.

Something I wish that I had known, and that I'm putting here in the hope that young Mumsnetters will heed it, is that the beginnings of dementia are created in our 30s. Two of the largest factors are alcohol and lack of exercise. Worrying about it once 50 or 60 is too late.

Yes, because your granola is made of stuff grown on a special separate planet, where they don't use chemicals at all - you know, the same special 'organic' stuff that is grown downstream of the farms, using pesticides and other chemicals. And the rain that falls on that granola is also special, not the same rain that falls on anything else, so your home-made granola is absolutely fine!