Daughter changing her eye colour?

[begoodorbegone]

I’ve found out my daughter is going to New York to have her eye colour surgically changed. I’m horrified.

I just can’t support this. Aibu? It’s caused a horrific argument and we’re not speaking.

she could buy contact lenses and change her eye colour that way. I know someone with amazing blue eyes and she told me they were her contact lenses.

Actors do this all the time- use CL to change eye colour- ones that aren't actually 'real' CL.

Another asking how old is she?
That is such a risk to take, you couldn't pay me enough.
An infamous nazi doctor did this sort of thing with eyes. I know that's not the case here but even so.
You can't stop her ,but be there for her if things don't work out as she hopes.

Yikes - can’t she use coloured contact lenses instead - then she could change her eye colour often.

NRTFT
Another who had never heard of this.
My eye colour was hazel and I loved it. With age the colour has faded/changed to a bluey grey. I don’t like it but I’d never have surgery to change it.
However, in your situation I would just say that whilst I don’t agree with it she is an adult and it’s up to her. She definitely needs to take out insurance and if she cannot get insurance specific to this procedure as well as usual travel insurance then that says a lot.

What is it with this bizarre MN response type - that once your child hits 18 you shouldn’t have any interest in what they do or express concern/try to dissuade them from harmful decisions?

She definitely needs to take out insurance and if she cannot get insurance specific to this procedure as well as usual travel insurance then that says a lot.

I imagine any ‘usual travel insurance’ would be invalidated it you travelled to have a medical/cosmetic procedure done.

Utterly stupid and idiotic.
She clearly has more money than sense.

Frankly she is being ridiculous and sickenly self-indulgent. I would be very disappointed if it were my DD.

Has the OP still not told us how old her daughter is after several posters asking?

This is so sad. But unfortunately if she's an adult there's nothing you can do.

I never knew not likeing dark eyes was a thing. I am white with deep brown, almost black, eyes and always considered them to be one of my best features!

It's not half right at all though is it.

The question wasn't globally. It was UK and the % given contradict the statement.

There no half right going on

There's a hell of a lot OP can do. You don't just give up on people doing self-harm and say "oh well, she's over 18, guess that is just the way it goes..."

Frankly I'd go in and steal her passport for starters. And spare me the "that's not legal/that's theft/she could call the police..." That's an acceptable risk, to me, rather than watch someone risk blindness.

"Where are all the past presidents?"

Of they're all there - Botoxed to the max

Sorry wrong thread!

Plus the fact that if you go blind no payout will return your sight. It’s gone.

I would be so distressed and upset if a child of mine did this (and feel that it may be prompted by an esteem issue). I, too didn’t even know it was a thing, let alone the potential risks! Is she receptive to some counselling in the first instance? How old is your daughter? 💐

How old is she, and what do you mean when you say you can’t support it? Is she asking you for money?

Assuming she’s over 18 and self funding it all, there’s nothing you can do, and it’s ridiculous to be on non speaking terms over it.

Contact her apologising and explain that anything negative was said from a place of worry and concern, not judgement.

How would that help? The DD will just get another one and possibly doesn’t live with OP anyway.

She could end up with a criminal record.

People can be morons at 12, 22 and 42. My chartered accountant (62) would not listen to his wife about it being unrealistic that they would fix his shoulder at this age that it would be like a 22-year old shoulder and he would return to playing golf. He did not listen to his GP who said 'you are too old mate, to expect his sort of result' and he went under the knife. I am not going to go into details what happened to him in the aftermath of this wonderful private operation, but he is in a much worse position than before the op.

If you think a person is at risk of harm, it is your moral duty to prevent them from harming themselves, be it unsolicited advice, threats or whatever other means.

Why would not this moron try colour lenses?

P.S. Information to consider (from a business department in a private hospital). For comparison - knee replacement, a surgeon gets £1600 for dicking around 3 hours to get the result. Eye surgery - 30 minutes' operation and the surgeon charges £2500 - because the insurance for the surgeon is crazy as there is a chance a patient will become blind in one/two eyes.

I agree. It sounds like she needs urgent mental health intervention

I bet she's going from brown to blue?

I'd be horrified too.
Every eye surgery is risky. I have no idea why anyone would have surgery on their eyes for a cosmetic reason like that.
What are her reasons for having this done?

It would cause a delay.

I would consider a criminal record well-earned if it caused a loved one to reconsider this foolish venture.

I would block her in (if she has a driveway), take numerous friends and relatives to her residence for a mass intervention, set up a Zoom meeting with a counselor, and otherwise do what I could to physically thwart this folly, if she won't listen to reason. Once sight is gone it can never be reclaimed. How will she support herself? Does she never want to see what future partners, friends and children look like? Enjoy the beauty of nature or just watch a television programme?

Healthy people don't maim and disfigure themselves.

@Hermyknee @WeCantGoOverIt
youre both right but I did say insurance specific to this surgery thinking that no insurance company would insure again the risk of sight damage or blindness for a risky cosmetic procedure which is not even carried out in the UK.
Frankly only an idiot or someone with mental health issues and or some form of facial dysmorphia would undergo this surgery.