Daughter changing her eye colour?

[begoodorbegone]

I’ve found out my daughter is going to New York to have her eye colour surgically changed. I’m horrified.

I just can’t support this. Aibu? It’s caused a horrific argument and we’re not speaking.

has she thought about how her passport photo will not match her new eye colour and she might not be allowed back on the plane?

I have heard of it but only to blue

Apparently, according to what I read, underneath brown eyes at least (I have dark brown) is blue. Basically they laser away the melanin to reveal the blue.
I doubted it was real but if the OPs daughter has looked into it, it must be
V Dr Mengle in its way though

OP make her check out local eye hospitals. In London I've been to Moorfields and Western Eye hospitals - they are fairly crowded with people with eye sight problems - glaucoma, cataract, macular degeneration etc - no cure for glaucoma. Your DD should value her eye sight and not do this.

I agree with this

The most lovely cosmetic lenses I ever had were Blue.
I don't know if it reacted to my own brown but they were the lovliest dark blue.
I got a bit of grit behind one once and couldn't get it out , hence I stopped wearing them but they are very good these days imh

I vaguely remember a short story about a craze among teenage school girls for changing eye colour. The story was set in the future and involved interference in the person’s genes. I assume that’s not what we’re talking about here?? Makes me wonder how far we are from radical cosmetic changes. I suppose the science isn’t there yet, but sooner or later cosmetics will morph into/fuse with genetic modification. Will people be able to change their skin colour? The shape of their lips and nose? I’m genuinely asking (as someone who is very, very bad at science).

I assume we’ll just get better and better and better at tampering with our genes. Isn’t that what Crispr is all about? Frankly, as an ugly woman who has suffered her entire life from looking this way, I say bring it on. If we can help people change into looking exactly as they want, would that be so bad? Being ugly or deformed, or simply not looking the way you wish, brings SO much pain and misery. My teenage years were a living hell. I wouldn’t wish that on any young girl.

Omg just looked. Seems it's mainly people going for lighter eyes?

What's wrong with dark brown eyes? They're stunning.

I can't believe what the world has come to 🙈

Yes, its to get light eyes

In my immediate family I have dark brown eyes, DH hazel, DS1 Brown, DD Green, DS2 Dark Brown and DS3 So dark brown they border on black.

However, my DM, her DS and DM all had/have green eyes and there Mum's Grandmother had blue eyes.
I have brown via my Dad, but Mums side adored my eyes .. to them it was a change from green or blue or, in a great Grandfathers case, grey.
Personally I used coloured lenses for a while as imo blue eyes and dark hair is stunning but do you know what ? So is blonde hair and brown eyes.
Part of my silvering hair is growing out as a honey blonde colour and it looks lovely with dark eyes

OP I would recommend your DD uses decent cosmetic lenses. . Far safer.

Honestly, if a friend or family member told me that they were going to do such a risky thing merely to change their appearance, I would consider it a mental health crisis and attempt to stage some sort of intervention. The amount of self-loathing one must have to risk blindness is off the charts.

This is bonkers. Any surgical procedure carries a risk of infection/bleeding, and infection or bleeding in your eyes can make you blind.

That's actually a good point.

How's her mh generally @begoodorbegone ?

Please send her this link OP

I would be so worried op. Can you contact her friends to talk to her? They’ll think she is unwise I’m sure.

What colour does she want? Blue, green or a crazy colour?

Just look at some pics. The befores look so much better 😂

There is probably nothing you can do to stop her except for explain the risks, do extensive research and get your argument together, then pose it to her

Bloody hell these people will end up with nothing real in the end. Fake hair, fake eyebrows, fake eyelashes, fake lips, fake teeth, fake boobs and now fake eyes. Stop the world I wanna get off.

Nothing is worth risking your eyesight over, absolutely nothing.

No parent could ever take this attitude to someone wnating to undergo extremely risky surgery for no reason whatsoever.

And who do you think picks up the pieces if blindness is the result?

If she won't listen to reason then I would be very stern that if things go awry, I wouldn't be her caregiver. Ask her to take out disability insurance and ask her how she would afford carers, rehab, etc. should the worst occur. This is not the time to coddle her and spare her feelings; I would consider this an emergency.

Self-harm, attention seeking, reckless behaviour.

This has made me feel nauseous. Why so people dislike themselves so much.

Yes.
I was just gonna say something similar.
Fortunately, I have green eyes, but to be really shallow, wouldn't want brown ones.
No particular reason.
Contact lenses should do, though.

She is being reckless and ridiculous but since she is an adult (I presume) she doesn't need your permission or your approval so all you can do is cross your fingers and hope for the best.

I absolutely agree. No surgeon of any kind is coming near me unless its essential!! but I wonder how many people who are so shocked on here would have other kinds of cosmetic surgery all of which carry risks, some lesser and some greater. Its all in where you draw the line.

HOW OLD IS SHE?!

https://www.aao.org/newsroom/news-releases/detail/academy-issues-warning-on-eye-color-procedures#:~:text=Keratopigmentation%20involves%20using%20a%20needle,the%20natural%20iris%20color%20inside.

Huge risk for little reward.

I'm so sorry. It must be really frightening. Your daughter, honestly, sounds mentally ill. We have normalised extreme self harm through plastic surgery, and it leads people to believe that their bodies are a kind of malleable flesh lego set. But all surgery carries risks, and this one carries a risk of profound loss - blindness. Is there a way you can speak to her, in a way she can hear, about how worried you are for her mental health? Can you find some access to therapy?

I can sort of understand the urge, as someone with dark brown eyes due to my ethnicity. Brown eyes are not celebrated in literature, the heroine rarely is brown eyed unless one of her features is dowdiness. When I was growing up, they weren't celebrated as a beauty feature in advertising (although thankfully that's no longer the case - I was so pleasantly surprised when the Nivea ads started featuring brown eyed women). And unless your brown eyes are lighter going into an amber or hazel shade, they are just, well brown. No flecks of interesting pigments or changing of colour in the light. DD would get so upset as a young girl about having brown eyes when all her friends had blue or green. Whenever I see someone of Asian or African decent with non brown eyes, I am hypnotised! There's a reason Aishwarya Rai is considered especially beautiful. It's her eyes.

But no way on earth would I allow anyone to operate on mine or my childrens' eyes for cosmetic reasons. That's absolute madness.