Daughter changing her eye colour?

[begoodorbegone]

I’ve found out my daughter is going to New York to have her eye colour surgically changed. I’m horrified.

I just can’t support this. Aibu? It’s caused a horrific argument and we’re not speaking.

This is no reason to argue / fall out over. You should be able to express your concerns, of course, but at the end of the day, she's an adult. This is exactly as permanent as a tattoo, which millions have.

There are cosmetic surgeries I'd be mortified if my child had, but not to the extent we'd stop talking.

@Jaehee Brown is the most common globally, so it's half right. I hate the AI overview on Google, it's utterly shite.

Apart from the risks, all the ones I looked at were dreadful - fake and like they’d been badly photoshopped. There was no beauty in any of the eyes. They lacked depth and intricacy.

So - a bad idea all round.

I thought this was going to be a thread about a young teen using coloured contacts or something. Horrified that this surgery is even a thing!

Is she living elsewhere in the US, or travelling from the U.K./another country? What happens if something does go wrong and she needs to access further healthcare before coming home? Travel Insurance won’t cover someone travelling for cosmetic surgery and US medical costs are insane.

Surely people aren't doing this? How does a person get to a point where they're so focused on something as trivial as their eye colour that they'd risk their vision?

Yes the recovery was dreadful and the muscle repair has caused me some issues with my back. I don’t really think it was worth it. Maybe if you have a lot of loose skin but I just had a bit of roll but convinced myself it was gross

I saw a woman on TikTok who did this and she was really unhappy with the results. She wanted green but the green she was given was totally unnatural. It looked like part of a Halloween costume. If your daughter won't listen about the risks, can you find some stories about people being dissatisfied with the aesthetic results?

Because they are very very insecure around what nature has given them, and challenged enough to put their own gratification before commitment to loved ones and those who depend on them. Hence all the arselifts going wrong and leaving behind loving family and small children. Utterly brainwashed into selfish acts.

I have a damaged cornea ( no one can pinpoint exactly how it got damaged or when). It’s not always visible to anyone else but has had a huge impact on my life. Eye care, eye medication and eye clinic visits can dominate my life at times. so I’d never recommend anyone mess with their eyes unless it’s 100% necessary to save your sight.
Can you try suggesting she tries coloured contacts for a while to make sure she likes the colour she’s chosen? Might buy time for her to go off the idea.

The same could be said for any type of non life saving surgery. Even having breast implants etc could have disastrous outcomes for some women. Undergoing a GA for non life saving procedures, in my mind, is a very unwise thing to do.

Sorry to hear about your complications..I hope your back gets better x

You are correct regarding disastrous outcomes. Iv just had revision breast surgery (explant and uplift) which has cost me 9k to fix. Doing things to your body unnecessarily will eventually catch up with you. Risk towards your health but also financially. There is always a need for future surgeries in any cosmetic procedure. That includes replacement or revision. People dont realise that nothing is ever permenant and you can actually be left scarred for life if you have to rectify anything.

Apologies if these have already been posted, just a few from a simple Google search. There are a couple of methods used but I think they are pretty much covered.

There’s a plethora of potential adverse outcomes . Whilst she is an adult it sounds from your post that there’s been little research 🧐

https://www.aao.org/newsroom/news-releases/detail/academy-issues-warning-on-eye-color-procedures

https://www.webmd.com/eye-health/eye-color-change-surgery-is-it-safe

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/cosmetic-eye-color-surgery-leaves-instagram-model-partially-blind

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8927577/

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/dangers-of-eye-color-change-surgery

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/may/18/eye-tattooing-experts-warn-about-risks-of-colour-changing-surgery

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35061240/

https://www.aao.org/eye-health/tips-prevention/change-eye-color-surgery-eyedrops-safety-risk

I agree. Never google "Turkey teeth". There are so many horror stories of people absolutely destroying their mouth because of a instagram trend.

But compared to a lot of these surgeries, messing with eye colour doesn't seem that bad to me, even though it's also completely unnecessary.

You can’t stop her.
but you can withdraw further financial support of such child.
what a bloody huge waste of money.
and potentially dangerous
you’ve seen this, but has she?
www.aao.org/newsroom/news-releases/detail/academy-issues-warning-on-eye-color-procedures

I swear I need to come off this site - I no longer believe a damn thing I read on here.

OP, jhave you said how old she is and do you support her financially?

IS there?? *admires brown eyes in the mirror

I have a relative who is a pilot. The men/women who fly to Turkey are known as Turkey Twizzlers, and the source of much hilarity at times.

Lol is it worth damaging your relationship with your daughter who may end up being blind & needing care the rest of her life if this goes wrong.

I'm all for live & let live but really who wants to take care of a disabled adult who just didn't like their eye colour ?

The very real risk of ending up with blurred vision for life, or possibly going blind, does not seem that bad to you. Interesting.

You know what, now I've taken the time to read a bit more into it, I take back my comment on this point. I had assumed that the risks would be very low (as with LASIK), but apparently it's shockingly high risk for something that's purely cosmetic.

This changed my mind: Cosmetic Change of the Apparent Color of the Eye: A Review on Surgical Alternatives, Outcomes and Complications - PMC

I've had a lifetime of sight issues, some needing surgery and laser. She's being a total idiot to risk this but even if it were completely safe (which it isn't) the "after photos" I've just seen are not impressive, everyone looks better with their natural colour.

As somebody who has been short sighted most of her life and now faces the prospect of cataract surgery which, I've been told in my specific case, holds real danger of complications, I can't even contemplate the stupidity of someone having unnecessary cosmetic surgery on their eyes.
My own father had glaucoma all his adult life and then lost his sight totally in his 50s through another issue. So I saw him struggle to adapt to blindness for the last 25 years of his life. I didn't like him very much but it was awful to see him experience this.
So I think having this operation is madness and makes me question what kind of world we live in. Especially as it's easy enough to wear contact lenses to change the colour of your eyes if you really are obsessed with something so immaterial.