Odd girl in daughters class

[Scottishbornandbread43]

Daughter is in primary school and has always had a nice group of friends.
There is a girl in her class that is a bit strange (sorry please don’t think im
being mean). She talks and sings to herself at inappropriate times, she chews everything and leaves bite marks on everything including other people’s property- her conversations are odd - constantly talking about bugs, she asks my daughter every day if she’s had her period yet (daughter is 10). There is a list of strange things this girl does.

My daughter felt sorry for her as no one played with her but now my daughter has found her other friends now don’t want to play with her.

My daughter spoke to me over the weekend and said she doesn’t want to be friends with this girl anymore but says she follows her around saying ‘she worships her’ (which I think is bizarre)and doesn’t want to be told off for telling her to leave her alone.

I feel sorry for this girl as did my daughter but I don’t think my daughter realised how intense she would become.

any advise? My daughter tried being kind but is now so upset as she doesn’t want be unkind to her but she just wants some space from her

I have no idea if this child has been diagnosed with something so that is why is used the word odd.

it is not my place or business to assume someone has asd/autism etc…

she may not be sen and therefore I am ok using the word odd

What you are saying is bollocks.

The OP could have made the same post and described the behaviours using a different word without negative connotations.

Words matter, they always have. We don’t use words that currently are understood to be offensive, even if once they were fine.

You can clutch your pearls and lament how we cAn’T sAy nUFfiNk these days, but moving towards acceptance of the tapestry of life is only ever a good thing.

What word should she have used?

Lots of people are addressing the OPs concern, so in a similar manner, I find it interesting how you have focused on the few “odd” related comments and not ALL the advice.

Also, it’s likely because we all have children and the thought of other children ostracising them in the playground due to their behaviour hurts. Let alone another damned grown adult insulting them. “Odd” can be insulting depending on the context. Said with a giggle by a friend, I wouldn’t even blink. Said with a condescending frown, Id think differently.

Yikes It’s not a good look to call a child odd.

You were correct using the word odd. No idea how people could be offended by that. The girl is displaying very odd behaviour.

She could have just described the behaviour?

Girls of 10 certainly can worship each other .
A new girl came to school, she had beautiful handwriting and a pony called Prince - and was pretty worshipped!

Children shouldn't be made to accept feeling uncomfortable, no matter the reason why the other person is behaving in that way. I'm nd myself but I wouldn't allow my child to be made to feel this way. It's sad for the little girl but ops daughter is not a support worker nor are the other children in the class.

The odd behaviour?

So where has OP shamed and excluded the child for something that is intrinsic to her being - given that we know nothing about her except for behaviour that sets her aside from her classmates ? I’d say the labelling as ND going on here without even sight of the child is much more damaging than anything the OP has said. She’s taken the behaviour at face value - odd. Dictionary definition ‘different to what is usual or expected’. Her DD has come to her to say she’s unhappy about the childs’ behaviour and the fact that she’s attaching herself to DD, and all people can do is pull OP apart for her words.

^this

expect to have to fight for support here op. There’s precious little for the dc with diagnoses. I would be challenging the school to tackle it as a group bullying issue because there are policies that can be potentially referenced, challenged and escalated.

From the other side of this issue: my df endured this pattern throughout school of being befriended by people who thought she just needed their friendship to change, and being dumped brutally when she didn’t. The class bonded over her weirdness. It profoundly damaged her.

I’ve noticed much more tolerance in teenagers today when they have precise language to understand what they’re seeing. It might help your daughter a lot to be able to name what she’s seeing accurately.

What's "odd" is that anybody in 2025 wouldn't realise that the child is neurodivergent, and so write a more neutral title. Goady title. Goady thread.

Ok I’m going leave this here now- thank you for those that have advice I will speak to the teacher.

You need to speak to your daughter's class teacher. Yes, I would say the other child is likely SEN but your daughter has the right to choose who she wishes to play with. I work in a First school myself (non-teaching role) and our school wouldn't 'force' another child to play with another, just because the child is SEN! This other child has become intense and your daughter is now uncomfortable (most children would feel this way). The school need to intervene, and extract your daughter from the situation, in a way that's kind to the other child but equally is putting boundaries in place. In the first instance speak to your daughter's class teacher, if things don't improve, then go to the Headteacher.

Is it? I don’t think it’s at all unusual for kids on the cusp of puberty to ask each other if they’ve started yet. I remember periods being quite frightening because they weren’t normalised to me. I say more openness and discussion around them is a good thing.

NB we are also trying to move on, as a society, from shaming women for their natural processes. See also: menopause.

Why do people jump in to say we are offended.
Just because something is questioned it doesn't mean we take it personally.

It's not a nice way of describing someone. That's it.

You could just say "Girl in DD's class"

That’s odd - l thought she did.

She’s 10. Who demeans a 10 year old?

Asking repeatedly everyday when the other girl is uncomfortable is absolutely inappropriate. As is leaving bite marks on other people's property.

Hardly demeaning.

there are some typically nasty comments on here 'it's none of your concern if the child has any needs'

er, actually we live in a society - and your child is part of a group of children - I tend to think it is part of how we approach issues to think about the needs of others too.

the teacher will be well used to dealing with issues like this and the first place I would start is with her/him

Yes speak to the teacher. They may have a lunch club they can direct the girl to (we have a lunch club available for children who find social times tricky, this includes ND and NT children and is invitation only, so teachers need to know about any social difficulties as they might think it's nice that the 'odd' girl is making friends).

YABVU to label a child who clearly has SEN as “odd” and “strange”.

Honestly I would have been telling my daughter to keep her distance all this time. No good can come from a “friendship” like this.

Since that hasn’t been discouraged though and you’re now a little stuck I would just encourage her to be polite but firm. “No thank you, I don’t want to play.” Or “I would like some space please.”

If the boundaries are ignored she will have to stop being so polite.