Odd girl in daughters class

[Scottishbornandbread43]

Daughter is in primary school and has always had a nice group of friends.
There is a girl in her class that is a bit strange (sorry please don’t think im
being mean). She talks and sings to herself at inappropriate times, she chews everything and leaves bite marks on everything including other people’s property- her conversations are odd - constantly talking about bugs, she asks my daughter every day if she’s had her period yet (daughter is 10). There is a list of strange things this girl does.

My daughter felt sorry for her as no one played with her but now my daughter has found her other friends now don’t want to play with her.

My daughter spoke to me over the weekend and said she doesn’t want to be friends with this girl anymore but says she follows her around saying ‘she worships her’ (which I think is bizarre)and doesn’t want to be told off for telling her to leave her alone.

I feel sorry for this girl as did my daughter but I don’t think my daughter realised how intense she would become.

any advise? My daughter tried being kind but is now so upset as she doesn’t want be unkind to her but she just wants some space from her

One of my children can be a bit odd a times, thank you. I'm ok with that?
There's room for plenty of personality types on the human spectrum and some are less common than others, so can be odd.

Because ‘odd’ in this context is a way of saying ‘not normal’ and we try very hard these days not to other people for things that are intrinsic to themselves.

Othering is a way to legitimise shaming and exclusion.

Odd has negative connotations that are entirely inappropriate when discussing someone’s personality and authentic self.

Absolutely
you describe her as odd
not sure how you’d feel about others

ok I’ll leave you to it and hide thread 🤷

Only on MN would one little word be so picked to pieces at the expense of actually addressing the OP’s concerns. OP wasn’t suggesting anything of what you’ve said here. From what she has said, the behaviour is odd, but it needs investigation before jumping to conclusions about the cause. You’re criticising OP for her words, which are measured, and she has explained that she doesn’t mean to offend. And yet you and others are very quick to assign an ND label to the behaviour without even having sight of the child.

Shaming and exclusion is how a functional society is formed and people learn what behaviour is appropriate.

The teacher sounds very inexperienced to have not noticed all of this. The whole class should be expected to interact with this child on some level and the teacher should model how to label behaviours they find inappropriate and uncomfortable so the children can hold their boundaries without her being completely excluded. If there are so many behaviours that are socially challenging that she can't maintain one single friendship then she needs much more support than she's getting, which I'd highlight to the teacher. I personally wouldn't make the conversation all about how my child wants to ditch this one so the others let her back in the gang!

This is just bollocks, sorry. I read the OP and the nanosecond l saw the word ‘odd’ l knew there would be a pile on. The way things are going future generations will all be dumb because there won’t be a single word left in the English language that doesn’t offend somebody.

Jesus Christ!

"Lumbered"?

What about dealing with the clear fact that the entire class are a bunch of bullying twats who need to ALL learn to be kinder to people who are different but harmless? What about inclusivity? What about it not being ok to ostracise anyone who is nice enough to be kind to the person who is a bit different?

And you are a teacher!!??!

Wow

It may seem extreme but it's true. People don't have enough shame these days.

I call my kids loads of things affectionately. It does not mean I’m so stupid to think it would be ok to call someone else’s child the same.

And it is appropriate when dealing with behaviours that are in opposition to that communities accepted rules and laws.

It is not appropriate or acceptable when the shame and exclusion is for things intrinsic to someone’s being - ND, skin colour, sexuality etc.

I agreed with you right up to the last sentence. That’s just mean.

This

My DD had her first period age 10 - and I know that girls at the time talked about it openly - so see that at least as a "normal" question. For the rest - talk to teaching staff. And in real life - your DD will come across people from all walks of life - warts and all. Part of growing up ;-)

Asking someone if they have a period is not appropriate behaviour and not intrinsic to someone's being. Kids learn appropriate behaviour when others react negatively to bad behaviour.

Why would you think she would ever voice that thought to anyone else’s child ? This thread is rapidly disappearing down yet another rabbit hole.

This. As a pp flagged, the teacher needs to address the other girls being allowed to ignore the little girl and your DD. It doesn’t sound like a healthy class dynamic.

Speak to school. Diagnosis or not, this girl needs support with social and emotional development and that is an area of SEN. Flagging this up might help the path to diagnosis if needed or flag up to the school that they need to put support in place to help her to understand friendships and social skills.

My dd had similar issues at a similar age. I spoke to her teacher particularly I was concerned that they’d be suggested as friends for the transition to high school and be put in the same tutor group. The teacher acted appropriately and the friendship fizzled out gently.

All those who object to the word 'odd' please advise how you would have described the behaviour? It is odd to repeatedly ask if the young girl has started her periods. It is odd to eat things - PICA. Odd is used to indicate atypical behaviour.

Year 6 teacher here...these kids know a lot of words/ things I'd never have known then but they would totally understand what worship means and in context in this way. I read it that the child with ASD said she worshipped OPs DD.

Quite.

Odd is just not on my scale of offensiveness. I wouldn't think twice about using it in general.

It can be very sad- there used to be a child in our junior class who smelled of stale wee- He often cried quietly- but if anyone tried to be friends with him, it was ''Oak wants to marry B!'' and silliness like that.

Poor B clearly had a wretched home life,{clothes that smelled} he spent a lot of time sidelined, like Kes. His behaviour was never bad, he was just quiet and sad.