Odd girl in daughters class

[Scottishbornandbread43]

Daughter is in primary school and has always had a nice group of friends.
There is a girl in her class that is a bit strange (sorry please don’t think im
being mean). She talks and sings to herself at inappropriate times, she chews everything and leaves bite marks on everything including other people’s property- her conversations are odd - constantly talking about bugs, she asks my daughter every day if she’s had her period yet (daughter is 10). There is a list of strange things this girl does.

My daughter felt sorry for her as no one played with her but now my daughter has found her other friends now don’t want to play with her.

My daughter spoke to me over the weekend and said she doesn’t want to be friends with this girl anymore but says she follows her around saying ‘she worships her’ (which I think is bizarre)and doesn’t want to be told off for telling her to leave her alone.

I feel sorry for this girl as did my daughter but I don’t think my daughter realised how intense she would become.

any advise? My daughter tried being kind but is now so upset as she doesn’t want be unkind to her but she just wants some space from her

Agree with others, speak to the teacher. But also want to state that I finding your use of the term odd to describe this child old fashioned and out of touch. Clearly she has some sort of neurodiversity and you might not have noticed but we don't label neurodiverse people as odd and keep them out of sight any more.

This sounds exactly like a situation in my school. In fact the girl in questions sounds exactly the same. The difference is the group of girls recognise that they are allowed boundaries but also try their best to look out for her. When she gets too much they are very clear and walk away. If the girl wants to play and be with them they let her join.

I always thought they were a lovely lot with empathy and maturity beyond even some adults.

You're just making things up? Where did OP say anything about hiding the child from sight? She didn't even mention SEN at all in her post. The girls' behaviour is odd.

Obviously the advice to speak to the teacher is correct. But the behaviour isn’t necessarily “odd” for someone who is neurodiverse. Anymore than it’s odd for a blind person to use a dog to help them get around. Or “odd” for someone who is homosexual to be attracted to a person their own sex.

Yikes. That’s not a good look @LoudRoseGuide.

If that’s the case, OP is probably very conscious for her DD to not develop similar anxiety to her, therefore all the more motivated to look out for her DD and her friendships. So what?? That’s not a bad thing.

I don’t like a child being described as “odd”

The "odd" in the title wasn't needed.

I had a similar situation with my child but school were much much better - they absolutely saw that the situation was difficult for my child and that it was leading to her isolation from other friends, and put a plan in place to help the other child become less dependent upon my child and to spread the burden out a bit as my child had reached a point where they felt they 'had' to be friends with this child as it would be 'unkind' not to.

Agree

People need to stop being offended by words. The dictionary definition of 'odd' is 'different to what is usual or expected' what about that troubles you?
This childs behaviour is odd. Theres nothing wrong with stating that. If OP had used a word like 'weird' i'd agree with you but odd, no.

Why? It just means 'different to what is usual or expected'. Whats offensive about that?
Don't assign more meaning to a word than it has.

Gently, this little girls’ problems are not OP’s responsibility and neither does it fall to her DD to be a companion for this child, which from what OP has said, would be against her will and at the expense of her own friendship group. She needs to advocate for her DD, not the other child.

Look it up

“strange”

I do not like a child being described as odd

How would you feel if, let’s say, you heard a parent describing your child as “odd”?

👍

This

You lifted the definition from Oxford dictionary but you omitted the next word in that definition you quote…. “Strange”

So hang on.
The girl is "odd" and a bit intense but not evil or bad.
Your daughter was kind and this child has latched on.
As a result none of the other girls will now play with your daughter and so she thinks she needs to cast the "odd" girl adrift
And 2 pages in not one other comment talks about the shocking behaviour of the other girls in the class, ganging up to ostracise someone who is different, AND anyone who is kind to her?

Damn right I would be having a word with the teacher. She has a lot more to deal with than how to support OP's daughter to extract herself from being kind to this girl.

I'm confused as to why people are so offended by the word "odd". Seems a very tame and kind descriptor of this girls behaviour.

Same here.
But then I am odd, so... 😂

I’m not offended
I don’t like a 10 year old child to be described as odd

and anyone who is 🤷 I’d be cool with my child being described by people as odd… is bull shitting

Because it’s never used in a positive way. I think you’re odd to ask such an obvious thing. I definitely am not using that word positively about you. I mean there are a few other words I could also use.

@FrenchFancie
Masking is fine. We all mask. I don't sit burping and farting in work meetings, whereas I might while watching TV at home, nor do I discuss my dog's dodgy tummy with a client, whereas DH and I will.

Masking is only problematic when people don't have a space to be authentic and accepted in, which is what was historically the case for autistic people. As long as they have a space where they are accepted it's ok to learn aspects of cultural norms to smooth the wheels - that is after all what everyone does.

Nah, my lovely daughter was described as odd a thousand times and frankly she was odd at school. When she was diagnosed with ASD at 10 nobody was surprised. Odd is very mild and there is nothing bad about being odd. I’m odd FFS.
So yeah you’re wrong.

As PPs have said, protect your dd first and foremost and speak to the school.

I call my own daughter odd in a positive way. I think it's quite a nice whimsical word.

Teacher here - unfortunately I see this happen a lot. It is more convenient for teachers to partner up an unpopular child with a kind, sympathetic one and they will often encourage that. But it is not in the kind child’s interests as they can then get lumbered and then find themselves ostracised, as seems to be the case here. OP definitely needs to speak to the class teacher and ask for her daughter to be seated away from the other child, and not paired with her for PE or classroom activities. It’s too much for her to navigate on her own at that age so support is needed.