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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my children into the same bedroom even though we have space for them to have separate rooms?

102 replies

PDA · 19/01/2025 22:13

Same sex children, aged almost 2 and 5. They’re currently in separate rooms. Both good sleepers only waking at night if unwell. It would be great to have a room back for guests/office space (we both WFH and currently have 1 office so I work at the dining table, which is fine but not ideal).

Thoughts on pros and cons of room sharing for young children?

OP posts:
Sistem · 19/01/2025 22:14

I think a better relationship stems from having your own space? Did you share as a child?

soupfiend · 19/01/2025 22:15

Its no issue while they're small

Lamelie · 19/01/2025 22:15

It was completely the norm a generation ago. Even my ‘in their 20’s’ DC, both sexes shared in various combinations until early teens.
Lots of benefits- go on Pinterest or Houzz for ideas.

Anonymouse27 · 19/01/2025 22:16

My kids preferred to share at that age pyjama party every night and joint toys. Needed own rooms when eldest was 7/8.

Probably depends on their personalities and how well they get on.

Boardingschoolmumoftwo · 19/01/2025 22:18

I loved sharing as a child and my boys will be sharing despite us having enough space for them to have their own. I guess the difference will be if they voiced that they wanted their own rooms we could give them that. Could you keep the room quite neutral so you can easily change it if they decide they no longer want to share?

ClearHoldBuild · 19/01/2025 22:21

My brothers had no choice and I don’t remember them ever complaining. Their age difference is 2 years 8 months.

HeffalumpsAndWoozlesAreHoneyRobbingTwats · 19/01/2025 22:22

I think the opposite - give them their own room. If they want to share they can decide.

Plumedenom · 19/01/2025 22:24

We have an extra playroom and still my kids choose to share, boy and girl aged 8 and 13. They like the company, bunk beds and they find the other person comforting.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 19/01/2025 22:24

Mine spend most nights in the same room even though we spent a fortune extending to have a room each! I think they'll be fine at this age.

stichguru · 19/01/2025 22:25

I think with that age gap they would have different bedtimes so that would be a challenge.

Zonder · 19/01/2025 22:25

My two are not the same sex. They chose to share until.they were about 4 and 6. Ask them?

Raggeo · 19/01/2025 22:27

We have enough bedrooms for a room each but my 5yo and 3yo have shared for the past 2 years. They love it! Depending on how tired they are at bedtime they will have a chat or a sing song for a little while when they go to bed. It's the cutest thing. The same in the morning, they will chat and play before coming to see if I am up. My eldest has always been a good sleeper, my youngest was harder work but being in a room with her sibling really helped. It means our 3rd bedroom is a playroom and stores most of their toys.
The only downside is that if my youngest wakes up first she will deliberately wake up the eldest so she has company. Most of the time it's fine though because we all need to be getting up and ready fairly soon afterwards anyway.

LostMySocks · 19/01/2025 22:39

We have 4 bedrooms and 2 DS who are now 11 and 9. Up to now they've always shared the room we used as the nursery. They have twin singles and there's just about enough space for drawers.
We then use another room as a playroom (with a sofa bed to give extra guest space). We're just about to start converting the playroom back to a bedroom as DS1 starts secondary in September.
We're lucky that they usually need the same bedtime as DS1 does like his sleep. It's worked well for us, particularly when there was only one adult to do bedtime so neither felt left out

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 19/01/2025 22:55

I think the age gap is a bit much now tbh - I'd keep them in separate rooms

renthead · 19/01/2025 23:00

Mine preferred to share at that age. They have separate rooms now but often sometimes bunk in together at 9 and 7.

Xmasbaby11 · 19/01/2025 23:03

They can share at that age no problem - we did the same when dds were 3 and 5. Then into own rooms from 7 and 9 I think. They were ready for their own space then and handy when friends came over.

It was fine and no disadvantages with them sharing at that age - it's a big bedroom room and they have a playroom as well. The only disadvantage was when they went into separate rooms and we lost our guest room - I really miss it now!

Justaboot · 19/01/2025 23:36

I had my own room as a kid and my 2 brothers shared - and I definitely felt like I was missing out! I know they liked sharing - maybe not aaaaaalll the time but they still talk about it now (we're in our 30s) - and for periods right through until I left home we would all 3 share together. Some great night, but mostly very ordinary nights if I'm honest - I just loved the feeling of being 'part of' something

So I would vote that it's definitely not a hardship for them (unless they're telling you it is) and from my experience it's a lovely thing

MeandBobbyMcGoo · 19/01/2025 23:40

My 6 and 8yr old choose to share. It sounds like a party up there most nights.

Daisymay2 · 19/01/2025 23:40

My two boys shared until they were 9 and 6. They had the 2nd biggest bedroom.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 19/01/2025 23:40

My DS and DD had their own rooms but always slept in the same bed up until DS was in upper primary. My sister and I always shared a room until I started secondary school.

HeddaGarbled · 19/01/2025 23:43

Why do the men always get the office?

CatsandDogs22 · 19/01/2025 23:45

We had all 3 of our girls in 1 room at that age (< 2 year gap, with twins) because they slept better in the same room. We had the other bedroom as a play room plus our eldest’s clothes as no way did they fit in that room with all their stuff. It did give us the living room back tho as it had turned into a playroom before that.

At 7 our oldest asked to move back into her own room, as her sisters were now keeping her awake, she’s also had a later bed time than them since she was 9.

Our 8 year olds now desperately want their own rooms but we don’t have another, we recently did a major reconfiguration of their room to give them their own space.

If you do go ahead with it, I recommend doing it with future reconfigurations taken into account.

LeonPatsy · 19/01/2025 23:51

So out of 4 bedrooms, you and your DH will have use of 3, while your children have to share one room between them? That’s sending them quite a clear message about your priorities, I’m afraid.

purpleblue2 · 19/01/2025 23:52

I shared a room growing up and never had my own space and I hated it don’t do it.

LeonPatsy · 19/01/2025 23:54

I can see you’re getting all the validation you need on this thread, but to have dc sharing in a four bedroom house, when you’ve only got two kids, seems very unfair on the dc to me. Maybe it’s because I’m an introvert, but I really don’t think my sister and I would have the relationship we do today if we’d been forced to share a room growing up rather than having our own private place to retreat to.