To put my children into the same bedroom even though we have space for them to have separate rooms?

102 replies

PDA · 19/01/2025 22:13

Same sex children, aged almost 2 and 5. They’re currently in separate rooms. Both good sleepers only waking at night if unwell. It would be great to have a room back for guests/office space (we both WFH and currently have 1 office so I work at the dining table, which is fine but not ideal).

Thoughts on pros and cons of room sharing for young children?

OP posts:

456pickupsticks · 20/01/2025 19:56

Personally I wouldn't, but I would put a proper desk somewhere in the house for you, whether it means you share the office (2 desks and chairs), some of your living space is sacrificed for a proper desk, you put a desk into your bedroom, or you put a desk into one of the kids bedrooms (a collapsible one in the oldest's room may be your best bet at the moment if she's out at school whilst your working).

FWIW the current recommendation is that children under the age of 6 shouldn't be on a top bunk, so may be worth bearing that in mind if you are considering them sharing a room.

Original poster

PDA · 23/01/2025 21:33

FinallyHere · 20/01/2025 11:41

Why does DH need his own private office?

Why does your work 'only' merit the dining table with no private space and nowhere to store things?

A doctor or therapist may need a private space, does your DH really need privacy throughout his working hours? Does he ever go into the office and if so, does he really have a private room there, too?

Open plan offices are much more the norm now. Get two desks, for any computer work a good headset with built in directional microphone and a wide angled Len camera Set up a virtual background if you are in each other's line of sight on camera.

Coordinate the occasional times when you each do need privacy, do the other can be sure to be out for that hour. If there are occasional half or full days, he could arrange to meet the clients somewhere else.

Or did he just assume the study would be his and you would 'manage' without. We need to start with equality of aspiration and resolve contention over resources by addressing each persons needs, rather than just assume the man's job is important and the woman's ... just isn't.

No he didn’t just assume he gets the office because he’s a man. There are several reasons why he has the office.

He has WFH for 5 years whereas I’ve WFH for 1, so he already had an office before I left my job and became self-employed.

He’s home all of the time whereas I go out and see clients and do all of my admin at home, so I’m approx. 50/50 at home versus out of the house.

He’s on video calls multiple times a day whereas I have a video call maybe once a month.

We can’t share the office because it’s too small and I wouldn’t be able to concentrate with all of his video meetings going on anyway.

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