To put my children into the same bedroom even though we have space for them to have separate rooms?

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Same sex children, aged almost 2 and 5. They’re currently in separate rooms. Both good sleepers only waking at night if unwell. It would be great to have a room back for guests/office space (we both WFH and currently have 1 office so I work at the dining table, which is fine but not ideal).

Thoughts on pros and cons of room sharing for young children?

I would let them have their own space. Or at the very least whilst younger have one space for a bedroom, one a playroom (apparently there are studies showing play and sleep separate promotes healthy sleep routines). I grew up with a 5 year age gap between me and my sister and I had to share. It was fun as a child, but as I got to about 12 it was horrible as it didn’t allow me independence. I couldn’t have friends round to visit as I shared. I couldn’t do my homework in my bedroom in privacy (became a problem during my GCSEs). I couldn’t have any sort of personal space to go to when I felt emotional to just cry and let my emotions out in private. I ended up resenting my sister because even though it wasn’t her fault, it just made me hate her and we’d have endless arguments because we didn’t have our own personal space.

you have a spare bedroom, I think as they get older and see that they’re forced to share - not because they have to but because you wanted the room for yourself - they’ll probably resent you for it. Kids deserve independence and their own space to be able to take themselves to and have privacy. Please don’t take that away from them

You are the parents, so it’s your choice !
Shared a bedroom with my sister until left for Uni I don’t see the issue

There are no rights or wrongs, it's very much down to all of the individuals involved.

I shared with my younger sister for several years when we were about the age yours are now. We lived in a three bedroom bungalow. The other bedroom was kept as a spare room, only used when my grandma was visiting. I'm not sure either of my sister or I really enjoyed sharing and we could bicker for England.

When I was about 9 my parents knew it wasn't really working anymore and said we could have separate rooms. It was a relief, to be honest. We get on well enough now as adults, but we are very different and as children growing up it clashed if we didn't have our own space to retreat to.

My boys shared from the ages of 6 and 3 because I became a single parent and it was a nightmare putting them to bed in separate rooms. I now use the spare room as an office space. They are still sharing now at ages nearly 10 and 7 but I am looking at splitting them in the next 18 months before eldest goes to secondary school, so I'm looking at building a garden office.

So I would say your children would be fine to share for now OP but I would consider options for the future so your eldest has their own room before swingers school.

SECONDARY school not swingers !!!

It depends so much on the personalities of the kids.

I def needed my own space and quiet (avid reader) but my siblings shared quite happily into teens (talkers and musicians).

Mine are 5 and 4, girl and a boy. They love sharing a room, and if I make them sleep separately if one or the other is sick, they will tell each other how much they miss each other. They each have their own style beds and toy areas, and often chat and play in the morning before getting us up. Young children can feel really anxious alone, and family co-sleeping was the norm until quite recently in human history. For us, it's been a great choice.

I hated sharing as a child, although I didn't start until I was 8 and my younger brother was born. Absolutely hated it. Was so glad when my sister was sent to boarding school as I had the room to myself, by the time I went we had moved house and I got my own room back.

I grew up in a 4-bed house and shared with my sister until I was 10 - we loved it. Parents' room, our room, play room, guest room. I actually got more annoyed when I was in my own room but kept getting kicked out to a mattress on the floor whenever there were guests!

Different story as teenagers but that's a decade away and you might not even be in this house...

I'd have hated sharing as a child. I'm also introverted and really need peace and quiet. Obviously if there's no choice then you just all deal with it but I think it's harsh when you don't need to.

Is there anything stopping you sharing an office and having two desks in there? Are you both on meetings a lot where the overlapping noise would be a problem? I've done this temporarily before and when we had meetings at the same time one of us just popped out to the dining room with the laptop. Admittedly though we didn't have meeting-heavy jobs so for a lot of it we were working quietly.

I would personally ask them and if they're happy sharing then go for it but be ready to move back again if they express a desire for their own rooms.

Why does DH need his own private office?

Why does your work 'only' merit the dining table with no private space and nowhere to store things?

A doctor or therapist may need a private space, does your DH really need privacy throughout his working hours? Does he ever go into the office and if so, does he really have a private room there, too?

Open plan offices are much more the norm now. Get two desks, for any computer work a good headset with built in directional microphone and a wide angled Len camera Set up a virtual background if you are in each other's line of sight on camera.

Coordinate the occasional times when you each do need privacy, do the other can be sure to be out for that hour. If there are occasional half or full days, he could arrange to meet the clients somewhere else.

Or did he just assume the study would be his and you would 'manage' without. We need to start with equality of aspiration and resolve contention over resources by addressing each persons needs, rather than just assume the man's job is important and the woman's ... just isn't.

On rereading I see @Clumble has made the same points in a much more amiable way.

Wot Clumble said.

it depends... how often do you have guests over? if its once in a blue moon, then you dont really NEED a guest room.

same with the office, is there any reason why you can't share an office? add a 2nd desk? my DD shares with her DH and its fine one or the other just moves if there's a meeting to conduct etc.

i dont see an issue at 3 and 5 sharing a room (i shared with my sister until i was 16). maybe pick the bigger bedroom to be the one they share so they are not cramped and make sure each one knows that 'their' side can be how they want it.

You've clearly got the space..

My kids shared a room in our old house (girl/boy) although we had a 3 bedroom as we host guests a lot (we are immigrants) and needed an office desk. We ended up moving to a larger house though so they could stop sharing. It was fine but I think would be quite an adjustment to go back to sharing after being on their own so would be hesitant as they sound like good sleepers now. I'd put a bunk bed or similar in one bedroom so they can share when you have guests round and look around the house for another option for a 2nd desk (I also work from the dining table while my husband has the office but he's in IT and works from home more frequently with all sorts of kit so it makes logistical sense)

Fine at that age, I shared with my brother until we were about 5&6. With yours being same sex you probably wouldn't have to reconsider until the eldest is about 10 and starting to want their own space.

Prioritising yourself is fine too, working off the dining table really isn't ideal long term.

You could also let them use the spare room if they wanted some alone time, if it's your office you won't be using it much in the evenings and weekends.

i dont see an issue at 3 and 5 sharing a room (i shared with my sister until i was 16). maybe pick the bigger bedroom to be the one they share so they are not cramped and make sure each one knows that 'their' side can be how they want it.

But OPs DCs are 1 and 5. Big gap.

I would put them together at this age.

Not in my experience. I loved sharing a room with my sister. Our late night antics, whether it was chatting til we fell asleep, or reading ghost stories to each other are my fondest memories of childhood.

We fought, of course we did, but it gave us the opportunity to learn how to live in close quarters with someone and how to resolve our differences. I took my brother's room when he moved out, I was 15 by then. I really missed my sister and actually spent more time in her room than mine.

My sister is now my best friend and biggest supporter.

Keep them sharing, us the extra space as play/craft room or whatever, and if one day they decide they want their own space, let them do that.

Children yearn for independence and their own space round about 8 and they deserve it too.

I never did. You can't tar every child with the same brush.

My boy/girl twins are still sharing at nearly 12. It's never arisen so I'm not saying anything. I love our spare room, it's not just an office it's used by me or Dh if either has an early start or is having a late night out or if the other is sick. I'll be very sad to lose it but it will inevitably happen soon. My eldest never shared, there was a big gap but he used to say how unlucky he was because he was the only person in the house alone.

Same here except my 2 girls are younger. I also can't imagine wrangling them into bed in separate rooms. It's a lot easier getting them ready in one room. They create their own space in their bunk beds (especially if there are some shelves for their favourite books and toys). The only slight issue is that my eldest likes to stay up later to read, but it doesn't seem to bother the youngest, she just goes to sleep (she is quite a compliant child and good at going to sleep though so if you have a more wilful/sleep resistant youngest this may be more of an issue).

I reckon that by the time they are too big for the playroom they will also want their own rooms, so it will be a natural progression.

Also incredibly useful having a playroom to put all their toys.

Absolutely fine.

I shared with my sister from her birth till I went to university

I fucking hated sharing a room (yes I feel that passionately about it). I was lucky it was only in the holidays and only for 2 years, and the rest of the house was big enough to escape to.

Everyone has different experiences, I'm the complete opposite of my sister. The thought of sharing with her until 15 would have been hell. I would never have been able to play my music, the thought of dealing with her moods and strops just doesn't bear thinking about.

And I get on well with her as an adult, as children we fought like hell (think screaming matches).

We put our two in bunks in the smallest room at that age and used the much bigger double bedroom as a playroom/ guest bedroom with sofa bed. It was a good arrangement for us when they were young. Later they had their own rooms, probably around 7 and 9 if I remember correctly.

I'd say no. The eldest is surely in school so needs an undisturbed night of sleep whereas a 2 year old can still wake in the night, catch more bugs from nursery etc. At 5 my eldest had friends round and they would play happily in her room whilst I amused her younger sister either downstairs or in her bedroom. I'm on team separate rooms because you have the space. (We have one office which has 2 desks in so when we both worked from home we had our own workstation.)