What do you do at weekends with secondary age children?

[Roseyposeypie]

Just that really… what do you do at weekends if all your children are secondary school age? We’ve lost our way a bit. DC1 (GCSE years) has loads of homework, has been ill a lot over the last year which has prevented days out and often wants to see friends. DC2 (just started secondary school) is tired a lot and reluctant to get out the house. I no longer have any idea what weekends are for. They just seem so dull and I feel stressed and like I’m failing all the time. We do eat together but often that’s about it. It wouldn’t matter if the DC were happy and busy with friends all the time but it’s more just permanent lethargy and it’s getting me down. What’s normal for other families?

oops, the poll was accidental but let’s say:
YABU = it’s normal for families with secondary age children not to do much together at the weekends
YANBU = at least part of the weekend should be for getting out and doing something fun together

We don’t do much. DS15 plays football, studies, we watch tv together in the eve. I run with friends, walk my dog, see my mum, now and again go out. I think secondary children need to be able to relax personally unless they are keen to go out they should get a say.

It's just me and my son and we still love to do things together so often hiking somewhere or cycling. His hobby is trains so a lot of driving around for that. He sometimes has a friend round and they sit doing the model railway or gaming while I supply pizza etc. We've always got something going on. I'm making the most of it because he'll not want to do things with me forever!

@Mindedmy 💯
I'm autistic too (waiting on an assessment for the youngest) they constantly argue so if they prefer to be separate I allow that. I hate arguing.
We go have times we eat together but only if they choose.

@Oreyt
You don't need to justify your choices for your family. What works for you works for you.

Our weekends are busy with the DCs activities and social lives.

This weekend went as follows:
Friday evening DS (12) has a swimming lesson so DD1 (17), DD2 (15) and I swim lengths while that is happening. Then home for a quick tea (made by DH) then DD2 has drama club.
Sat am DD1 has a football game, DD2 has piano, Sat pm DD1 had a date, Sat evening I was out with friends and DH and the kids had pizza and watched a film.
Sunday pm DS had a friend over.
DD2 has GCSE mocks at the moment so her weekends are pretty quiet as she's revising, she often pops into town with her friends at some point and DD1 meets up with friends every weekend because some of her friends are at different 6th forms.

When they were little we would have one day a weekend when we went out as a family (the other was taken up with kids activities) but now they want to spend time with their friends. We have a big house and we host a lot so we have crowds of girls and boys her severaltimes a month but whole family time tends to be in holidays these days. We always watch Strictly together and eat together but other things are split up much more.

Argh I need to read these answers carefully as I'm entering this stage, soon to have two at secondary school. 11 and 13.

I like to go out still, although they've begun to bicker which is new and really unpleasant. The tiredness is a thing here for sure, I think being on their phones/games makes them lethargic so I try to offer something else and spend Saturdays out and Sundays doing homework and chilling.

Ice skating, cinema, bowling, swimming (I sit out) climbing, national trust walks and also do bigger days like museums, events and Merlin days. I'll be sad when it comes to an end.

I have 15 and 16 year old girls, we very rarely do anything as a family at the weekends, my eldest has a little job, a gym membership and tons of friends so I mostly see her when driving her places. My youngest is studying for her GCSE’s and often on a weekend in between that she just wants to relax. If they are both at home I always make a roast so e can sit and have a meal together. Yesterday me and my youngest went clothes shopping, she’s home more so easier to plan things with and she will come and join us at points during the weekend. Mostly though me and my husband are just embracing the shift, we start our weekends with a long dog walk, a bit of brunch then lazying around for a hour before cracking on with whatever we need to do at home. Once they are both driving we intend to have more nights away at the weekend just enjoying couple time. I do hope at some point my girls will have more time for family stuff but for now they have other things going on. They are both happy

I have one kid who’s 13 so usually we go on a family walk, sometimes locally but we’ve done some of the way marked routes, just finished the new London Greenlink. He won’t walk for the sake of it, but if there’s a route or we are going somewhere specific. And have to have snacks. We usually watch a movie together. We may go on a bike ride somewhere on one of the days. But a lot of the weekend is just chilling out.

We live quite near a national trail long distance footpath so we had a project to walk the entire length of it on family walks over a couple of years. It kept everyone involved, especially if combined with a public trip for drink/lunch and was one of the best ideas we had for the teenage years.

We all sing in a church choir which takes up a fair amount of time and I usually cook a roast lunch to come home to after church. We are lucky we can do meals out, cinema, theatre sometimes and we do a couple of UK/European holidays a year.

I spent weekends doing orchestra, pony riding, visiting wider family, catching up on homeworks, enjoying being alone, walking the dog,. Saturday night my brother and I watched the man from Uncle, thunder birds and a bond movie. We were perfectly happy.

Parkrun, orienteering, mountain biking, hill walking, geocaching. All 6 of us love the same things which makes for lovely family weekends.

Is it the time of year? We've been lazier lately but it's just so cold!

They have chill time, do homework, gaming, meet friends or hobbies / sports, tidy rooms (ish).

Together we might visit family, go for lunch, go shopping to replace the endless clothes they grow out of, watch films, family walks. Catch up over a takeaway and a box set.

Weekends - did we 'do something' most weekends when DC were at primary? Like what? Days out were mostly during school hols. Meals out occasional at weekends. Over to grandparents or out to coffee with them at weekends, yes.

Secondary school - homework or out with their friends. And same as above.

DC mostly had extra curricula stuff in the evenings after about yr 2. Not being in a sports team, watching football was an occasional like going to the cinema.

You really will (be sad) 😔 I never thought I’d miss all those parks in the rain and many National Trust cafes the SE has to offer - but I do 😂 Once they hit 13+ it feels like you’re on borrowed time all of sudden.
We still do lots but nothing like we did and I’m so happy they have friends and activities to fill their time - but I’m also quietly sad for me.
it is the time to learn new skills and get busy yourself with new pursuits.

Don't they have hobbies? My teen DNs do a mix of

• dance
• windband
• a coding club
• basketball team practice

They seem to usually hang out with friends on Saturday afternoon and on Sundays its a mix of dropping in on family or friends, shopping, gaming, cinema, swimming etc

My DC are marginally younger but have tennis on weekends and i can't see that changing.

What's wind band?

Playing wind instruments like the clarinet

Band of people playing wind instruments, usually with a percussionist.