Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What do you do at weekends with secondary age children?

144 replies

Roseyposeypie · 19/01/2025 15:33

Just that really… what do you do at weekends if all your children are secondary school age? We’ve lost our way a bit. DC1 (GCSE years) has loads of homework, has been ill a lot over the last year which has prevented days out and often wants to see friends. DC2 (just started secondary school) is tired a lot and reluctant to get out the house. I no longer have any idea what weekends are for. They just seem so dull and I feel stressed and like I’m failing all the time. We do eat together but often that’s about it. It wouldn’t matter if the DC were happy and busy with friends all the time but it’s more just permanent lethargy and it’s getting me down. What’s normal for other families?

oops, the poll was accidental but let’s say:
YABU = it’s normal for families with secondary age children not to do much together at the weekends
YANBU = at least part of the weekend should be for getting out and doing something fun together

OP posts:
EndorsingPRActice · 19/01/2025 17:31

DS had clubs Sat am and often competitions / matches on Sat or Sun. Weekends with him were very busy driving him about, from age 10-18. DD was totally different, she did lots of clubs at primary and kept on with a couple for the first couple of years of secondary but gradually dropped them all and hung around the house under occupied for a few years. We did a few day trips together which was only a handful a year but we all enjoyed them, they tended to be in the holidays though, not weekends. Every 6-8 weeks we would visit relatives as a family which was right up until eldest was 15/16, after that he stayed at home. At 6th form, they both got part time jobs, and started socialising more with friends, from then on they were really quite busy. Saturday evenings we did all watch telly / films together, until they got to 15/16 ish.

PerambulationFrustration · 19/01/2025 17:33

Mine do their own thing mainly but the things we do together but not every weekend are
Cinema
Meal out
Take away
Movies at home
Visiting family
Some exhibitions and theatre

AyrnotAir · 19/01/2025 17:37

If we are doing a day out we will do things like go to the cinema, lunch/dinner then bowling, Top Golf, go karting. There's a place near us called Boom Battle Bar that has different games you can play like Augmented Darts, Axe throwing etc.

Generally though our son takes alot of our weekends up with his sport, our 15 year old works and then is out with friends the rest of the time so just wants lifts from A to B. Eldest is 20 and rarely spend time with her socially now she's so busy with work, uni, friends and boyfriend.

We do like a wee board game night though and outsmarted is our favourite.

daffodilandtulip · 19/01/2025 17:38

Appreciating my lie in and providing regular snacks.

We do always have an easy tv dinner together too. Not necessarily a takeaway but something like that - supermarket pizza, beige food, supermarket takeaway, all in front of the fire watching something hideous like Michael McIntyre.

twistyizzy · 19/01/2025 17:41

DD has school on a Saturday until lunchtime then goes riding.
Saturday evenings are spent in PJs, snuggled on sofa watching a film or 2.
Sunday she lies in then I make her a fry up brunch. She can then just chill until the afternoon when we have to see to her loan pony and then while I'm sorting tea she will do homework followed by tea + hour or so of Nintendo with DH.

So basically not much however she has longer holidays so we save activities until then.

Blackcordoroys · 19/01/2025 17:41

Mine are 15 and 12. The older one wants to be with his mates all the time (quite rightly). The younger wants to play Zelda and have shouty group calls. So they usually do that for one whole day. They have cadets on Friday night and I do try to drag them somewhere on a Sunday. Today we went in a walk which they wanted to go on as we stopped at our very favourite cafe. Otherwise it’s all gaming, homework and mates. I know this is how it should be as they move away from us gradually. I am learning how to fill my time in a way I enjoy rather than just hanging round the house or cleaning

NeedToChangeName · 19/01/2025 17:43

At that age, my DC spent a lot of time playing sport, reading and watching TV. We watched films together eg on Saturday night

It's natural for them to want mire independence and fewer family outings

Sherrystrull · 19/01/2025 17:47

Playing sports (with us providing transport and staying to support and chat with other parents) takes us most of the weekend!

That's interspersed with chilling at home, time with friends, gaming and trips to cinema, shopping occasionally.

We have family game night (board games) on Sunday night too.

Now gladiators has restarted we will watch that together with a takeaway.

mum10103 · 19/01/2025 17:47

The key is a balance - some time just you as a family, sometimes you all with a friend (this can make a huge difference to my child on a day out especially as we have a bigger age gap between siblings) clubs and also time with friends and then chilling alone.

A typical weekend for us is one day family and one day with friends with clubs between.

Things we usually do - cinema, bowling, trampoline park/ climbing, ice skating, swimming, go out for dinner, see the wider family, walk the dog, bike rides, gym together, go karting, days out to the beach or weekend away/ holidays, pop into towns to go shopping.

Some teens are more social with friends, my eldest at 15 has gone out with his friends since he was secondary age a lot more than my second who now at 14 still regularly comes on family days out.

awkigydrs · 19/01/2025 17:49

In the winter especially, I have no guilt about not doing anything. Life is so busy, it's nice to have a couple of days in the week that are unstructured for them to switch off. Family days out etc tend to be in the school holidays which I do tend to keep busy.

user2848502016 · 19/01/2025 17:53

Go out for walks with the dog.
Sometimes DH takes teen DD out with him when he goes running.
Shopping for food or sometimes clothes etc
Beach in summer
Movie nights
Sometimes just have a lazy weekend

badwife29 · 19/01/2025 17:58

Not much. Have younger dc too so it's very tricky to do something that suits us all. Teen ds plays a lot of football which takes up half of the day on Saturday. He will go out with friends, game, read and very occasionally agree to go for a walk with us or go bowling or something.

We always spend the evenings together once the little ones are in bed, reading together, watching a series or having a takeaway at the weekend. But I think family days out are a bit of a struggle at their age.

My ds is very into his fitness so if we can take the angle that a good walk is good for his steps or whatever then it tends to please everyone! Oh and sometimes he's on board with swimming.

Meredusoleil · 19/01/2025 18:03

awkigydrs · 19/01/2025 17:49

In the winter especially, I have no guilt about not doing anything. Life is so busy, it's nice to have a couple of days in the week that are unstructured for them to switch off. Family days out etc tend to be in the school holidays which I do tend to keep busy.

Same here.

Bbq1 · 19/01/2025 18:07

Obviously, the trips out las such, end but you can still have a great relationship doing things together when they are young adults. Ds is 19 and has a job and a gf plus a passion he is trying to malke a career of. Dh and ds have the same taste in gigs so go to them together and dh is extremely supportive of ds's passion projects as am I, but he does all the legwork. Ds occasionally comes to the theatre with us. He and I go to 80s cinema nights at our local cinema and we love Comic con. We watch series and films as a 3 sometimes and have a big cinema night out planned in Feb. It's lovely.

toffeeappleturnip · 19/01/2025 18:08

Me and my teen watch football together, swop chats about FPL, eat together, sometimes watch a film.

That's about it.

We rarely leave the house at the weekend at the moment. Just laze around all day. It's lovely

SquirrelyWirrally · 19/01/2025 18:10

Sport, both kids have matches or training on both days

Funderthighs · 19/01/2025 18:11

Play board games, pursue joint hobbies, visit family & friends, cook together, go out for a bite to eat, visit a museum/cinema/exhibition, day trip to another city….all things we love doing together.

SparklingSpa · 19/01/2025 18:12

My DC are grown up now, when they were teens we’d have football Saturday morning and then shopping or a meal out on Saturday. On Sunday we’d go to a theme park, the coast or another day out such as a museum, cinema or bowling.

Spanielsaremad · 19/01/2025 18:14

I have a 15yo. We do the following..
Gym together, long dog walks, bake, watch comedy series and films. Other times he's on his laptop and facetime calls with friends, doing homework, he also volunteers.

Zephyry · 19/01/2025 18:15

@Oreyt do you mean they each take their dinner off to their bedrooms that you have cooked, or everyone just cooks their own meals and eats in their rooms? Not meaning to be unkind, but I've never heard of anyone doing this. What would happen if you insisted in sitting down together? Do you want to eat with them?

Sparrow7 · 19/01/2025 18:16

I have two 15 year olds. We try to do one thing as a family at the weekend like a walk on the beach or the countryside or visiting family. In the evening we eat together watching TV (traitors at the moment)and then they do their own thing after, gaming etc and we go to the pub with friends or watch a film with some wine in our room.

BeachHutsAndDeckchairs · 19/01/2025 18:21

They spend their weekends catching up on homework, going to mates' houses or coming here, gaming, and eating. So much eating. So many crumbs - I feel like I spend most of my time wiping up crumbs from that corner of the kitchen, only for them to reappear almost instantaneously.

I also take myself out for a cuppa and a sandwich so I don't have to clean up my own crumbs

ffsgloria · 19/01/2025 18:23

It's taken a while to adjust to this phase but mine mostly hangs out with friends, quite often at our house, or goes shopping etc. We sometimes go to the cinema as a family or just me and her, sometimes the gym together too or shopping. DH and I get on with DIY, exercise, go for long walks/coffee, see our friends, when she is with hers. We eat dinner all together most nights, usually watching a series, or at the table. She then retreats to her room. I miss the younger days but I don't miss all the kid related weekend activities to be honest!

Oreyt · 19/01/2025 18:36

Zephyry · 19/01/2025 18:15

@Oreyt do you mean they each take their dinner off to their bedrooms that you have cooked, or everyone just cooks their own meals and eats in their rooms? Not meaning to be unkind, but I've never heard of anyone doing this. What would happen if you insisted in sitting down together? Do you want to eat with them?

They can sit with me in the living room if they want but they are usually already upstairs.

PinkChaires · 19/01/2025 18:38

Mine are a level and gcse but i guess we are luckyish that we have three shopping places to go to so usually one of them and i usually see other families with same age dd do the same, other than that we might meet up with family friends with same age kids to go to restaurants/dessert place but usually do their own thing at home. We live in Manchester tho, so may be different in smaller places.