To think 8/9 year olds shouldn’t be doing this

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Walking up a big hill with a busy road next to it (known to speeders) to go and meet their friends alone. All in year 4. Then playing on a field to play football. Walking back home mainly alone. 10 minutes walk to get home

This is dependent on where you live. As always with these threads on Mumsnet there are those who cannot imagine it and are horrified, meanwhile there are communities up and down the country where 8 year olds are indeed walking about on their own or in groups every day.

I'm in Scotland. Of course children walk to and from school, shops, clubs, out to play etc on their own from the age of 8.

Agreed. See it all the time on these threads.

Children socialising independently and learning how to navigate their own communities and social lives without adult intervention or influence, isn't the same as being taken out for walks by parents. It doesn't do the same thing for them developmentally.

Watch the documentary’On the way to school’ (or similar title). It shows the dangerous routes children around the world take in order to get to school, often without adult help. Whilst these are extreme and no parent probably wants their child to do this it does show how clever and resilient quite young children can be when expected to look after themselves.

Completely dependent on your child. My DD is almost 9 and has no road sense whatsoever, she is way off of that kind of independence. She still holds my hand walking to school. Children mature at different rates. Trust your own instincts about your own child.

Take a look at Danish parenting

In Y4 my son went to the park on his own but it’s right next to my house and no road to cross. I’d say it’s too young for a busy road. But that means either you go with him or he doesn’t go.

absolutely no way. i cant believe the number of posters who would be comfortable with this.

I think it sounds fine, especially if he's with friends. this is what kids should be doing on a weekend, playing in a park with friends having fun.
my 9 ( year 5) has being doing similar for the last year. Began playing in the street and now he has friends who call for him and they go on bike rides to each others houses or to the woods to make bike tracks. he does have a phone though with a tracker.

You are being far too overprotective and you should be worrying more about the risks to your son's development of life skills and confidence, and his mental health, than on the tiny risk of "stranger danger" or the risks of roads/traffic. He is more than old enough to understand those risks, and for you to talk him through the risks, and what he should do in various situations. Your job as a parent is to raise independent, well-rounded, secure, confident adults. Not to wrap them in cotton wool and never let them out of the house because you are being ruled by anxiety.

No one has said that there's no risk. Of course there's a risk but it is a fact that the risk from a stranger is tiny.

We can't avoid risks completely. In that case, even teenagers wouldn't be able to gain any independence.

On our housing estate it isn't uncommon for boys to start going to one of the parks (all within 5mins of home, no large roads to cross) without adults in Year 5 - in a group who knock for each other. It also isn't uncommon not to be allowed out unsupervised until Year 6 or Year 7. There are a couple of individual boys who are out at age 8, but generally either with an older brother or because the field is literally within view of their house.

Girls seem to be older before they are let out, or possibly just less keen about hanging around outdoors as they generally aren't playing football and running around therefore requiring a large open space for their socialising.

I would argue that the incidence is (thankfully) small for opportunistic attacks, but the risk is actually huge and life changing and threat to life. My attacker had a knife but thankfully didn’t use it. Yes the cases may not be high (working with probabilities here) and most of you have not been the victims of violent crime but let’s not say the risk is small. For those who are assaulted or abducted the risk is very high and impactful, it’s not as if the victim ever comes off lightly.

For those who want facts please approach your local police who would be able to give you the latest stars but just know that online grooming, CSA and trafficking are on the up.

The risk of it happening is low. That is accurate.

If it actually happens, of course the consequences are huge and life changing. No one is going to argue against that.

People still need to live their lives though, including children and teenagers which includes developing some independence from their parents and socialising alone more with friends.

I do not get how on mn leaving an 8 or 9 year old alone with a phone for half an hour is seen as neglectful, yet the vast majority see nothing wrong with the same aged child wandering around outside crossing roads and going to parks.

I know which one I'd rather my 8/9 year old be doing.

I wouldn't let an under 11 do what you've described on their own. 9/ 10 with friemds or siblings, possibly and depending on child.

Surely it's just different people answering threads? I'd be fine with that too, for what it's worth.

' he only turned 8 in august'

thus he will be 8.5 in February which is just a couple of weeks away

then he will be half way to 9.

I'm surprised at the replies and think maybe I'm ott with my 8 year old. She's very unaware of space around her generally eg randomly swings across a pavement getting in the way of other people then denies it when I pull her up on it. Her head turns to the side to check the road when crossing, but she's not fully looking, more doing it to look like she's looking. I wouldn't allow her to walk up the street without me if I'm honest. I wouldn't trust her not to say drop her water bottle and her to just follow it into the road without looking. She's a well behaved kid, but hasn't got the maturity yet. I probably do wrap her up in cotton wool a bit but I've not seen her age group round here doing solo trips like you describe.

The only things I'd say that have actually changed is that there's a lot more traffic now which does affect safety (but on the flip slide I would reckon there's a lot less drink driving now that its taken more seriously so more safe in that sense), and nowadays there's online grooming, which is an argument for getting them out of the house more

the risk from a stranger is tiny? are you serious??? he will be alone not with his friends. walking alone at 8 years old. the risk is tiny? that statement is wildly careless.

I don't think it's ideal an 8 or 9 year old, but 10 seems reasonable.

There are also a lot of dangers out there which children are too naive to be aware of to the same extent as adults, because you can't be wholely truthful and blunt to the reality of horrors and danger potentially awaiting them. Although the odds are that nothing bad will ever happen.

Yes, children need an amount of freedom at some point. Could the compromise for now be that you walk/drive/cycle with him and then collect him from the park at an allocated time or he could call you for a lift when they're done?

At least when he's there, there will be a group of them which seems safe enough to me.

If you're not comfortable just say no. He's your baby and you know what's best for his age, maturity level and reliability.

Not a chance in hell would I allow my 8yo DS to do this. Alone or with his mates.

I'm with you op i have a 9 yr old and I won't let her out on her own yet. She's fairly sensible but for me it's just too young. Kids grow up way to quickly these days as it is so it's becoming the norm for them to do these things as that's what everyone else does. Will be another year or 2 before I consider it!!

The stats agree with me. A child is more likely to be harmed or kidnapped by someone they know, not a stranger.

My statement isn’t careless, it’s accurate.